Facebook status update connections

S M cant wait till payday!
J G now knows what it's like to name his salary.

A H has mastered fire!
E R's train caught fire on the way in to work.

three in a row!
D B thinks you'd make a great Dread Pirate Roberts
S C only reads pirate english now
C P is mendin th' sails. arrrr

EP won't be doing laundry cause he ran out of detergent.
MPC just finished making homemade laundry detergent.

****** *** is 'Shot by Both Sides'... 51 minutes ago - Comment - Like
[salsa shark] is excited for Magazine ! about an hour ago - Comment - Like

^^ don't know each other

MJ has brought her ancient iPod back from the dead
MR is breaking his itunes cherry

XP is pointing out that today was originally the celebration of some guy's violent, bloody martyrdom in the late 5th century.
BL is celebrating his favorite saints day

******** ******** can bearly see she's so drunk but is trying to inject her self... this could be nasty.
***** ********** is off to Amsterdam baby!!

Facebook related fun:
http://iwouldhaveificouldhave.tumblr.com/

XXXX R. XXXXXX is psyched for the bitter tears and totally stoked for the slaying of the first-born!!!!!!!
8 hours ago · Comment · Like

DXm PXXXantXXo Yo Jews, you're forgiven, he's back.
9 hours ago · Comment · Like

S*** S*** broadcasts Happy and Healthy Birthday Wishes for "Monkey Mike" A***!
53 minutes ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
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M*** G***
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M*** Ge*** monkey on the lam tonight at a special date and time: Tuesday 6-8 pm as opposed to the usual thursday show. And 2 hours instead of 1!
56 minutes ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
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Jon Williams
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Jon Williams
Jon posted an image to Tumblr.
"“The research was tickling baby apes.” In apes’ giggles, scientists find an important evolutionary clue | csmonitor.com"
56 minutes ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · View post
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Rick B****c : Jump back! Wanna kiss myself...! UNH!!
6:02pm · Comment · Like

Rick B****c is ready to watch some NASCAR through his eyelids this afternoon.
Sun 12:13pm · Comment · Like

Rick B****c thinks Van Halen followed by Rush is nothing more than a dream come true!
Sat 7:02pm · Comment · Like

Rick B****c cannot put into words how much that thing really rocked and how much everything cool is cool and how much stuff that rocks rocks!
Sat 5:37pm · Comment · Like

Rick B****c is crying.
Sat 3:06pm · Comment · Like

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3446/3309081805_0b9d3204f4_o.jpg

That whole site is A+++

http://myparentsjoinedfacebook.com/

YM feels kind of sick. is there such a thing as too many blueberries?
RDK is eating a hundred blueberries. urrggghhhh

^don't know each other

sometimes it works with wall posts too

BR to TR: I will be in your city tomorrow picking up my new toy with my Papa! You should come see me/see my new toy! You will be Mighty jealous I think! Yubba you! xo
6 minutes ago

EP to EC: 1-5 October. I will be in your city. Will you? Say yes.
7 minutes ago

This one was from Twitter:

hoosteen: Show was great, now to decide if home or the elephant room
about 15 hours ago from txt

PGA_JohnDaly: made a side stage appearance at Jackson Browne at Meadow Brook tonight---good stuff flash back!
about 15 hours ago from web

AR: is pretty fly for a white guy... 41 minutes ago
DM: Baby, you and me got a groovy kinda love. 46 minutes ago

allyzay This rain is just diabolic
less than a minute ago from txt

ryanbyrd sequence follow-up: waited out rain & it finally quit. waited 5 minutes to make sure it was over. got up, walked to door…torrential rain…
6 minutes ago from Tweetie

^^^ These people live 2000 miles from each other.

Forrksclovetofu: As per usual, I thought you were a dude. Howdy not a dude!

IDKW but this is cracking me up. Hi forks, I am not a dude!

enbb: not a dude

JKL is exploring the medicinal properties of sexual activity.
AM is aching after another touch session. owweee.
SY wants to know what the hell that noise is that's coming from upstairs.

SP Sick aircraft flying over my house all day..........so cool!!!
HNH
Feeling like I'm in Iraq with all the choppers in the air today, no peace on the Vineyard today

that was maria d - for some reason it's not letting me log out and log back in as myself

C******** L**** London you're missing out on 4 hours of Jamaican Ska. Bumbaclarts!)
J** M**** Oi, Mungo Jerry, no need to shout!

EJ will be spending this rainy day making zucchini bread and watching twin peaks, thank you very much.
JM is showing "Fire Walk with Me" in the backyard tonight. You can come over and watch.

JD has the Honeycomb jingle in his head, yeah yeah yeah. It's not small, no no no... Is there some sort of heimlich manuever for this situation?
GK has "Desperado" stuck in my head for like 2 days now. It's analogous to hell.

J**** L***** and V**** L***** are off to the hospital, beep beep BABY AHOY!
J**** M***** is going to the zoooooooooo!

There's not a general facebook thread (should we have one? I couldn't bring myself to start it), so here I am...

Have the notifications from Facebook changed recently or am I imagining it? I'm sure that I used to get an email whenever ANYONE commented on something I'd commented on etc. whereas over the last few days I have only seemed to get emails when it's someone I'm friends with who has done the commenting.

can i say you're my girlfriend on facebook?

Aha, thanks. My apologies, it's late, I didn't realise that was the catch-all facebook thread, the title wasn't very appealing.

no problem. anyways - can i tell people on facebook you're my girlfriend - y/n?

Sure, if you like. I'm easy.

sweet.

http://i37.tinypic.com/xqbdjq.jpg

BV doesn't feel like cooking....any suggestions for dinner for me and the kids???
PTS when in doubt, make pasta

[My 17 y/o cousin] -> Eli N*****: dude, so, i just had a dream that you and I and marian went to Belgium by train w/ john-from-the-mountain-goats.

i have no idea what this says about my sub-conscious but this was easily the best fucking dream i have ever had.

<3 <3 <3 that kid.

B**** J******* is on the horns of a sartorial dilemma over whether to wear his Roger Carter tribute shorts for work tomorrow.
J****** B**** became a fan of Flash Your Shorts.

AH: Can we talk about arugula for a second? Why is it so good? What's your favorite way to use arugula in your life?
GK: Ya'll do know that arugula is really tasty steamed, right?

WOOHOO!! McDonald vs. Chicago = Reversed and remanded! Today is a momentous day for gun owners.

resisting the urge to reply with a link to the news story about how 54 people in Chicago were shot in one weekend a couple of weeks ago

Hah, after a spate of morons from high school spouting off about how thrilled they were about the decision, I posted something sort of similar. Hopefully it pisses them off so that I know exactly who to permanently delete.

J***** T***** Mysterious phone call from Hong Kong. Was it you?
a few seconds ago via Facebook for iPhone · Comment · LikeUnlike

C**** W*** haha, course its me! how you keeping mate, looong time no see!
2 minutes ago · Comment · Like

I think the second one was supposed to go on someone's wall but I lolled mildly so

J******* B******
Last night, I dream-wrote a jingle for Chicago-style hot dogs called "There's No Mustard on Me" that, somewhat incongruously, involved Zydeco accordion.
13 hours ago · LikeUnlike · Comment

T***** H*****
‎"Ketchup is, as every chef knows, like frosting for meat."
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike · Comment

Justin
Way to go post office! Saturday before Christmas and ONE person working the counter. How about some managers getting FIRED! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Jennifer
and they want to run our healthcare?!?!?!?!

JM: Tony farted a nasty stinker. I want to fart in his lunch.
TC: Who knew a band called Fartbarf would be so great! lol

(what kind of people am I friends with?)

noodle killing it

GETTIN HIGHER THAN A MUTHAFUCKA

http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/6017/screenshot20120123at159.png

http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/6965/screenshot20120131at801.png

B=========
I haven't publicly whined about my divorce until now but man her sending me emails about her new bf and how she wears what I bought for her for him is just below the belt. Let him have her. The fact that someone could sleep with somebody else before the ink even dries is sick. I'll be a productive badass today like I planned.

Those things are an annoyance, but at the very least I can say oh yes, i used to play nintendo or had a vcr or drank soda out of a 12 oz glass bottle.

But that ... I didn't know if that was a big pepperoni or a piece of bacon and the mustard on white bread – no, i do not remember eating that as a kid

Vinny -
suffering from P.M.S. for a few days...(parked motorcycle syndrome).....uuuggghhhh...

***** ******* ****
Dear friends.

Unfortunately, I am in the process of shutting my Facebook account down. I want to thank all those who have helped me in times of need over the years. I am heartbroken about this, but lightening really does strike twice it seems, and I can no longer trust one of you.

So, over the next few days I am asking anyone who would like to stay in touch to PM me your numbers. Please DO NOT comment on this post, message me instead.

Thank you once again for all of your support. You've got me through the tough times and celebrated the good times with me.

Wish it could have lasted!
Like · · 10 minutes ago via mobile

****** ****
This no phone business isn't bad at all, would be stalkers just mail me.
Like · · 16 minutes ago ·

http://24.media.tumblr.com/351453bcae01d4ed1b265ab05dd452f6/tumblr_mltnhfbFuI1s7cv54o1_500.png

today one of my cousins posted "Don't take life for granite!!!!"

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/q71/s720x720/562010_435233979932286_1778718162_n.jpg

cries for help remain unheard.

MA: Time to tell everyone you had picked the Broncos and the Seahawks from the start. Nobody will ever know.
BH: Woot! XXX predicted the Super Bowl teams when we sat in Century Link for the Seattle - Broncos pre-season game. Way to go baby!

**** ****** *********
Let me make this clear... I will not brown nose to get what i want. i will not do all i can for the sake of social status.. if you ask me a question i will give you an answer.. a truthful one.. this will hurt now n again.

The next fame hungry fuck that talks to me like im a cunt because you've played a gig in front of 30 people will have his/her larynx removed.

Do it the old fashioned way and work harder you fucking rat!
Like · · Share · 6 minutes ago ·

**** ********
Facebook needs a "lacks context" button. Some of you are so cryptic with your vague, passive aggressive statuses.
Like · · 7 minutes ago ·

Arrgh statuses like the first one drive me up the fucking wall. So attention seeking and self-important.

yeah that guy is 1/3 that stuff 1/3 wakeupsheeple 1/3 I AM QUITTING FB FOREVER

http://i.imgur.com/ueqRbib.png

THINK THIS LADY IS PISSED?
If you are over 50, you need to read this. If not, don't bother, you are already screwed.

Alan Simpson, the Senator from Wyoming calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared "Social Security " to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats. Here's a response in a letter from PATTY MYERS in Montana ... I think she is a little ticked off! She also tells it like it is!

"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight!!!
1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole (tit) for FIFTY YEARS.

2. ...

Alan Simpson retired from the Senate in 1997.

Gosh, ol "Cuck" sure has become a grump!

http://i.imgur.com/vVzXUMC.png

http://i.imgur.com/WnR1u88.png