Grown so ugly.

I have a terrible diet and do no exercise, and although I don't put on fat, I am a horrible shape. I have a big belly. It's not fat - I've had two explanations for it, both relating to my very bad asthma. One suggested that years and years of forcing the diaphragm more and more pushed the belly out, the other points out that steroids give people bulging bellies, which is fact, and I've been on substantial doses of steroidal asthma drugs for over thirty years. An odd side effect is that when I get ill I lose weight and my stomach gets bigger! Then I get better, and put weight on, my stomach shrinks back and people tell me I've lost weight.

I have lots of other very unattractive aspects too - legs so short it's nearly freakish, very protruding ears, a nose that underwent three operations when I was a kid, so that I could breathe through it, that looks as if it was badly broken, toes that are only gradually recovering from a mother who knew best and ignored me when I said shoes were too small, so they became curled down and inwards like a claw. I expect I've forgotten a few things too. The only thing that has become worse as my years have advanced (and I am of course far older than Amateurist) is that my jaw's become a bit saggy and my hair is receding and thinning a lot. It makes for a pretty damned unattractive whole.

Sounds to me like it's my own personal nemesis, rosacea. It's probably not a bad idea to see a dermatologist about that and the razor burns.

As for shaving, try shaving from the bottom up, just pull the skin real tight first. It's difficult to explain but involves reaching over your head with your free hand and pulling at loose skin.

As for exercise, let me know if you find something that works. I detest sport/exercise, I really thought I'd never have to bother. Until a year ago I was freakishly skinny - gave up smoking and put on like 2-3 stone. People ask if I've been working out or tell me I look good, but I just look down at my belly and think urgghh - fat twat.
I know I must do something before I lose sight of my feet.

I need to get back to using a regular razor; this electric shaver is just a mess. I'll buy myself a new razor and try some of the advice given upthread. Sometimes I'm tempted to grow a beard and be done with it, but I hate wearing a beard. Any advice for razors to buy for someone with a really rough beard and sensitive skin?

When I was living with other folks I was more self-aware and my habits weren't so out of whack. Living alone gives me too much room to indulge my laziness.

yeah this is important, too: use a double- or triple-blade razor, all tarted up with lubri-strips and whisker-erecting fins and stuff. Like a Gillette Sensor or MACH III. Just avoid single blade, plastic disposables like the plague.

Although 'shaving with fruit' also seems like pretty U&K advice.

Oh, and dispose of the blade when it needs to be disposed -- no matter how good the razor is, a dull blade is a dull blade, and that especially makes a difference since you have a rough beard.

Didn't we have a shaving thread? I think ILE is where I picked up the hot water thing.

It's not advised! You're doing it right. (see 'Barcelona')

I've bought one of those self-assembly abdominizing gyms for 30 bucks, taken up badminton classes, cut way back on beer and started a banana-only diet.

What more can a man do?

give up. no, not really.

I work out 3 days a week or every other day depending on time constraints on my own laziness factor. Lately I haven't been because preparing dinner and learning statistics have been occupying my time. But I just do one or two sets of calisthenics, flutter kicks, pushups, diamond pushups, crunches (situps are bad!) and reverse pushups. Lots of stretching.

I don't gain weight, though, because my metabolism is a rocket. So no help there. But staying toned is just a matter of giving a shit, it really is. You can always find 30 minutes to chop out of your day and once you get into a rhythm it's pretty easy to warm up, burn yourself out and warm down even within that brief timspan.

Flutter kicks are your friend.

For moisturising after shaving--Cetaphil cream is excellent for sensitive skin. It's the only stuff I can use that doesn't sting like hell when I have razor burn on my legs. I use it on my face too, though if you don't have extremely dry skin you'd probably want the lotion. Good moisturisers are sometimes more expensive, but worth it. Aveeno lotion is another really good, gentle moisturiser. I have used every fucking moisturiser ever for my superdry, sensitive skin, and those two are the best IMO.

It's easy to get critical/overaware of appearance stuff, especially if your appearance has changed. But you probably don't look as bad as you think you do. With friends of mine that complain about weight gain, sometimes I don't even notice until they point it out. Even then, it always seems to me that they look just fine.

Do as many as you can stand, obviously. Back at my peak I think my cycle was thus:

1. superman crunches (lie facedown, lift up your head and put yr arms out in front, then use yr lower back to pull yr upper body off the ground)
1. reverse pushups
2. flutter kicks
3. pushups
4. crunches
5. diamond pushups (save the worst for last)

try cooking for yourself for relaxation when you get home from work. you can make the spices and sauces interesting so you don't need to eat as much, and it's fun.

Exercise - get a pair of running shoes and run. For the first week or so, just go as far as you can until you feel you're about to die - even if you can only run for 5 minutes. Then stop and walk a bit. Go out and do this every day. Soon you'll be able to run further, the pounds will drop away and you'll feel so much better, both mentally and physically.

I used to do this, as I live alone too, and would stay online until 2 or 3 in the morning. Kate's advice is perfect. I started walking to work and university, occasionally go to the gym when I can be bothered, and I feel so much better for it. I get properly tired, like physically rather than mentally, and I sleep much better. Also, what Kate said about the seratonin and all that. My mood is better, and I have more energy, just from a half hour walk every day.

"i do find that being fuckin awesome in most other ways gets me through the day quite nicely tbh"

yeah, I think this is where I'm going wrong.

I'm wondering if I'm ever going to have that slightly reddened, slightly grizzled facial skin some people seem to get between the soft period and the wrinkled period

ugly applies to attitudes, not looks.

it's brutal being yr own worst critic, true - i think you shd consider the real possibility that nobody else looks at your face the same way you do, or sees it that way either.

it's best not to even think about this stuff. i do though, "god i'm an ugly cunt" is usually the phrase in my mind. hopefully i don't actually believe it.

nv otm tho, best to ignore these voices.

LOL at me @ 25yo

it's only been downhill this past decade

Is it possible to be ugly and not spend your every waking hour obsessing how much you hate the way you look? Would like to hear from anyone who has managed to pull this off.

idk so long as i'm not faced with a mirror or a photograph it's pretty easy to let something else occupy the forefront of my mind, admittedly this does mean that seeing my face is always something of a shock

i've lost so much hair that my face is going bald

is there a nutritional supplement to help reduce puffy face syndrome

xxp i'm always (unpleasantly) surprised at how i look in photos in the same way one's voice seems weird when heard it on a recording.

gr8080 lay off all booze, dairy, corn, soy and drink more water. My old supervisor researched and saw "experts" and was told this. After several months on a new diet, there were noticeable improvements.

oh my god, i am struggling with my looks. lost 37 pounds over the last two years so i'm now only like ten pounds overweight, but i can't lose weight in my face and neck without quitting smoking cigarettes...the weirdest thing--i must be the only person for whom smoking makes bloat up. cannot bear to use a current picture on dating sites until i don't look like a jowly walrus above the chest. my build is actually pretty good but i've never met anyone who takes worse pictures. my face is like a big mushy pile of custard...

something about september/summer turning to autumn that sends my jowl growth in to overdrive

Did you wake up this morning,
Look at yourself in the mirror and say
Ah, gr9080, this ain't me?

I caught a reflection of the bags under my eyes in the LRT this morning that made me wonder if I'd been awake for 2 weeks solid.

FaceTime has been real bad for my facial self esteem

Is anyone else actually getting better looking as they age?

fuck yeah, it's awesome

ikr

I think I'm getting better looking as I age. Mostly by being extremely sedentary/unfit in my 20s, I set the bar really low as far as looks go. I'm certainly getting gray/wrinkles and years of sun exposure are showing up, but I think in general I'm feeling good. Confidence and being in relatively good health help that a lot.

you be the judge!

20: https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1933762_508311389587_8732_n.jpg?oh=a2e111e40fc75fc6ab02eae08dd79c30&oe=57F372EE

30: https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13221674_10100474923907327_7428257024563892851_n.jpg?oh=d2039cf5f5468aec1cb64b99edf6dbea&oe=5806DACF

high-five!

those photos are a good basis for comparison as you are making the exact same expression in both. also, photo 1 should be made into a dealwithit.gif

It's awesome how as I get further away from the metabolic damage done by a couple years on Risperdal as a teenager- why, sure, it's FANTASTIC for social phobia!- and find better information about how to take care of myself (because I live alone and rarely hang out with anyone more than once a month) all the positive effects are essentially undone by the effects of aging so I work myself to the fucking bone but still look like an unfuckable human potato

Also I am super fucking hammered if that was not obvious.

PROTIP for hanging out with an ex and discussing how amazingly their new relationship is: DO NOT THIS

I feel like I'm at least breaking even as I age and possibly getting better looking on account of not really having has any concept of fitness until at least my early twenties and then very gradually getting better and more serious about working out. I had a few years of decline after the kids were born, but around last August I reintroduced a pretty fierce gym habit and also started seriously lifting for the first time in my life, which I feel like has made me look stronger and more manly than I used to and given me more presence.

kind of a wash for me -- I am more comfortable in my skin, but less comfortable in my clothes, perhaps because perpetual ongoing low-grade student poverty means that the only new additions to my wardrobe in the last ~5 years have been gifts from mom. I like to imagine that I will eventually look quite dashing in a suit, though!

Got into- not an argument, but a discussion w/ ex trying to explain to her I was taking a short break from OKCupid, Tinder, etc while I worked on losing weight- doing a 12-week calorie cut to try and drop 15-ish pounds, at least. How am I suppsoed to react to being told it doesn't matter, people will like you whatever, etc when seriously I have been somewhere between slight to worryingly overweight ever since I got started on antidepressants when I was about 12? It's basically impossible to explain to people who were attractive in their teens/20s/etc, but basically I hate my body as it is now and as it has ever been and I want to burn that shit to the fucking ground. Why is it vanity or cowardice to want to take some time out and work on myself so I can not have fucking tits at least once before Im' 40?

In a few years I am certain that people will be remarking at how dapper and handsome I look as I lie in my coffin.

The mourners, of course will be lying rather more pleasantly (see what I did there?).