At my last job, I had an annual review. I went in and pleaded my case - I'm such a great worker! Look at how I saved you $10,000 in just one transaction! and I even typed up a 2 page letter showing everything I accomplished in just one week - and then got a 10 cents an hour raise. Bastards!
― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:06 (eighteen years ago) link
much safer in the middle.
― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:08 (eighteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:10 (eighteen years ago) link
I mean, the other people in my "team" are a beat poet, an actor and an xtreme frisbee champion!
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:11 (eighteen years ago) link
― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:12 (eighteen years ago) link
yeah, the last place i worked at was like that, I forgot. I gave myself 4s and was told "only the CTO gets to give himself that." Oh, ok.
― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:13 (eighteen years ago) link
― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:13 (eighteen years ago) link
are they going to show you how to shoot a gun?
― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:25 (eighteen years ago) link
Actually, this reminds me of a one-act play I was once in, called Touch Choices for the New Century. It's staged as a motivational seminar on "preparedness," and one of the characters is a brassy woman from Dallas who instructs the audience on how to use a gun in self-defense.
― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:25 (eighteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:26 (eighteen years ago) link
Then I wrote the same paragraph 5 or 6 times and signed it.
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:27 (eighteen years ago) link
i hate the rhetoric of "job performance."
― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:29 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:36 (eighteen years ago) link
It's been three months for me!
Also, I hate how my company wants to rate everything from 1 (the worst) to 5 (the best), but doesn't believe in awarding 5's because "there's always room for improvement."
Oh, yeah? Show me anyone else who can kick in a recorded adlib to play from the button bar while switching the cords in the back of the zephyr around for a redial all the while getting the coach back on the line WITH NOT ONE SECOND OF DEAD AIR. I work it like a ballerina with that shit.
Um, maybe it's a good thing that I haven't had my evaluations yet.
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:43 (eighteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:47 (eighteen years ago) link
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link
― Yakuza Ghost Six (nordicskilla), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:59 (eighteen years ago) link
My boss rated me higher than I did and said many wonderful things.
Now I can relax.
― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 17:50 (eighteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 17:54 (eighteen years ago) link
― kyle (akmonday), Monday, 13 June 2005 17:55 (eighteen years ago) link
And I get MORE SQL training!
― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:06 (eighteen years ago) link
― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link
This month will be my first real annual review for this job, since last year we were so understaffed and overworked there was no time for one. I hope it turns out okay -- I expect it will because I've had nothing but positive feedback, but I always worry something will go horribly wrong.
― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:38 (eighteen years ago) link
― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link
― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:04 (eighteen years ago) link
ugh
― bell_labs, Thursday, 29 May 2008 21:57 (fifteen years ago) link
what do i say? i applied for a promotion, didn't get it, and was told i would never be promoted without an mba, which i will never get, so i am just still here because it is easy but completely uninspired. i can't even bring myself to write some bullshit.
― bell_labs, Thursday, 29 May 2008 22:00 (fifteen years ago) link
― G00blar, Thursday, 29 May 2008 22:06 (fifteen years ago) link
copy and paste what you said last year
― sexyDancer, Thursday, 29 May 2008 22:07 (fifteen years ago) link
i can't because it's a DIFFERENT FORM this year for some stupid reason
― bell_labs, Thursday, 29 May 2008 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
i said some shit
― bell_labs, Friday, 30 May 2008 16:59 (fifteen years ago) link
My biggest disappointment of FY08 was not being qualified to be promoted. While I enjoy my position, my coworkers, and the many benefits of working at *******, it worries me that my career is stalled at this point. I understand that much of the problem is that I lack an advanced degree/MBA, which seems necessary if I am to continue in this field. I have no current plans to attend school or leave my position in the next year, but it is something that I must consider 2-3 years out, if there is no room for advancement within *******. If there were a chance for my position to be expanded into more of a ******** role, for example, I would feel more positive about my direction.
― bell_labs, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:01 (fifteen years ago) link
meh
Are they one of those companies that will help employees get MBAs and suchlike?
― suzy, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:03 (fifteen years ago) link
no. it's a nfp and they do some tuition reimbursement, but MBAs are not covered. and the thought of getting an mba makes me feel icky.
― bell_labs, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:06 (fifteen years ago) link
Then I think they've got a lot of chutzpah asking ppl already in their organization to get one to move up. It's only the most expensive postgrad to do, but I am sure it would not be an idea to flag up catch-22 hypocrisy on their part.
― suzy, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:12 (fifteen years ago) link
it was a dick move on their part, mainly because the person occupying the position before didn't have an mba, and had been in my position before (she was only a few years older than me). but they ended up bringing in someone much more senior, from a corporate background (who got her mba the year i was born).
― bell_labs, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:17 (fifteen years ago) link
i would never be promoted without an mba, which i will never get
Why not?
― libcrypt, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:23 (fifteen years ago) link
there's nothing wrong with getting an MBA - I am going to start pursuing one in the next year. I'm getting to that mid-level stall where it seems I can't jump up another level without it.
Too bad your work is being so shitty about it, tho :(
― homosexual II, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:25 (fifteen years ago) link
sorry though bells but i have also never understood people who work for non profits and then bitch about not getting paid enough/promoted/etc.
― homosexual II, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:26 (fifteen years ago) link
if they would pay for me to get an executive mba, i'd do it! but i can't imagine dropping out of life for two years and going into a ton of debt to go to a traditional mba program. especially since i'm not even that interested in it and think the schoolwork would be mind-numbing.
― bell_labs, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:28 (fifteen years ago) link
i don't know, usually the low pay and waiting for someone else to leave or die to be promoted is offset by being pretty much guaranteed a promotion if someone does leave...so it's disheartening that there is no way to move up.
― bell_labs, Friday, 30 May 2008 17:31 (fifteen years ago) link
yep, thats v uncool of them
― lag∞n, Monday, 5 March 2012 14:28 (twelve years ago) link
its really not such a horrible experience looking for a new job while you already have a job
― lag∞n, Monday, 5 March 2012 14:30 (twelve years ago) link
^^^ always tell people this, it's a lot easier too cos u don't feel the same pressure
― Mo Money Mo Johnston (Noodle Vague), Monday, 5 March 2012 14:31 (twelve years ago) link
yah and prospective employers will think higher of you cause you have a job
― lag∞n, Monday, 5 March 2012 14:32 (twelve years ago) link
x-posts
Yeah, I know. I just hate the whole business. At least it's not a situation where I HAVE to get something ASAP and need to take the first things which comes my way (how I ended up here btw). I need to approach it with more positivity but this morning I get to be angry because I hate them and also because sick.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 5 March 2012 14:33 (twelve years ago) link
I always hated these when I was a tech writer, but I never feared them. I was on good terms with my supervisor and we communicated often and in depth about what I was accomplishing, so the annual review just seemed like a weird dance we had to do to justify any raise I might get.
― Aimless, Monday, 5 March 2012 19:40 (twelve years ago) link
"New objectives"? How about I just keep doing what I'm doing until technology necessitates a change, or you lay me off because I'm making too much? And thus my supervisor doesn't have to figure out new ways to reinvent the wheel?
― World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 14:11 (twelve years ago) link
HATE HATE HATE performance reviews.
Mine is this afternoon; wish me luck.
― Miss Anne Thrope (j.lu), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 18:38 (nine years ago) link
good luck!!
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 18:43 (nine years ago) link
Good luck!
― Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 18:50 (nine years ago) link
Postponed to Monday afternoon. BLAH.
― Miss Anne Thrope (j.lu), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:01 (nine years ago) link
That's just cruel.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:11 (nine years ago) link
I have an annual meeting with the management but it's not very detailed -- two years they've basically given no feedback, and one year they were like "we heard from someone about a time when you failed to make it clear that you were busy with other projects and then you didn't have as much time to devote to their project as was needed" -- just about that vague, and I was thinking "I literally have no idea what the fuck you are talking about but ok"
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:16 (nine years ago) link
you gotta fight ambiguity with ambiguity
one good response to "we heard from someone about a time when you failed to make it clear that you were busy with other projects and then you didn't have as much time to devote to their project as was needed" is "i will explore opportunities to identify the times when i failed to clear enough time for a project and take action as appropriate"
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:36 (nine years ago) link
"I am already implementing solutions"
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:38 (nine years ago) link
always already implementing solutions
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:39 (nine years ago) link
This opacity sounds great. In Sales someone just looks at a spreadsheet and tells you if you can come back next year.
― Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 20:44 (nine years ago) link
honestly have no idea how these work with this new company
all i know so far is ~we have an annual performance review~ and the rest it is a mystery
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 00:47 (nine years ago) link
Just finished my last one--the next, five years from now, would be in my retirement year, and I think they give you a pass inside of two years. ("This guy's incompetent...we just noticed now!")
― clemenza, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 00:58 (nine years ago) link
Just finished my annual review (without my getting medieval on my TL's or PM's ass \o/)! I still hate the concept and process, but hey.
Also, the PM hinted that she regards me as Team Lead material. LOL no. I do not see myself as the stuff of which management is made.
― Miss Anne Thrope (j.lu), Monday, 1 December 2014 20:38 (nine years ago) link
FUCK this
― marcos, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:40 (seven years ago) link
due by 5pm on the first day after a holiday break
At least our corporate overlords do not insist on Maoist self-criticism 'struggle' sessions.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:43 (seven years ago) link
these can be p stupid but i would make what u want out of it; it's just a generic form to prompt your thoughts. i never stick to the exact structure. also always a good opportunity to talk about what you did right!
― surm, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:44 (seven years ago) link
Hate that shit so much. This will be the third year in a row where my superiors will passively mention certain unfulfilled work goals that I've passively assented to year after year and never fulfilled and never had any intention of fulfilling because they have no intention of paying me to fulfill goals above and beyond my day-to-day responsibilities so...yeah. Fuck that.
― DJ Untz Hall (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:46 (seven years ago) link
just bc they're you're supervisors doesn't mean they are your superiors! big difference. we're all just people here, i don't really care what your title is tbh.
― surm, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:47 (seven years ago) link
i think the biggest pain about these is just the bureaucratic paperwork and having to summarize the work ive done in dumb HR terms
― marcos, Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:48 (seven years ago) link
xpost Yeah, I don't really sweat that because no one's the boss of me.</gen-x>
― DJ Untz Hall (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 3 January 2017 20:50 (seven years ago) link