second greatest Ark Music video/song/artist after Rebecca Black

okay you can tell "My Jeans" isn't by Ark because, even though it is really young and cloying, there appears to be some basic songcraft going on

probably because they're all so formulaic and dumb, watching these videos and listening to these songs reminded me of the Mr. Show megaphone crooners sketch, though if these kids were singing about electric sports bras it would be better.

lol

This is basically CJ Fam vs Madison

Pato rips on Ted Hughes:

up above the sky
like an eagle up on high
can't relate to your pain
the way you feel deep inside
you're a bird in the sky
like an eagle up on high
baby baby you got my high

baby baby you got me high, rather.

too bad none of these rip on Sylvia Plath </shakey mo>

CJ Fam singing "So What"

this girl is hilarious

I listened to most of these already but CJ Fam is still new to me and WAU

kind of awestruck by this swagger:

I am the best
girl all around
in the papers
and in town

It is kind of amazing though how Rebecca is in this entire other level of weird given everything on display here.

I'm pretty sure a few of these girls are nothing more than holograms + voice synthesizers, like the ones that are popular in Japan. Danika is definitely has no existence outside of the music video, and I'm still on the fence about Ashley Rose.

Alana Lee is the only one who comes across as sweet and sincere, and I could see "Butterflies" being recorded by some Disney second-stringer (Hannah Montana's little blonde friend?). I'd like it more if her vocals didn't sound so processed, but she still gets my vote.

if CJ Fam was sweet and sincere, she wouldn't work

CJ Fam looks like she's about ready to punch a window or knock someone's teeth out. zero tenderness in that girl.

gotta be CJ.

pop stuuhhr

CJ is bossy

Methinks the 24 karat charisma of Lil Nay Nay would be giving CJ a run for her money if she had a video.

someone needs to edit together the audio of every 'rap verse' from these songs into a Best of Pato mixtape, complete with gun sounds and DJ shouts

someone needs to edit together the audio of every 'rap verse' from these songs into a Best of Pato mixtape, complete with gun sounds and DJ shouts

― some dude

OMG YES!!! Lift all the intros too and jam them all in the beginning... "Yo.. ARK music... commin atcha..."

haha seriously if anyone has the technical ability to do it, go for it and just give me an exec producer credit along w/ DJ Whoo Kidz Bop or whatever

No Lil Nay Nay, no justice...

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

no contest!

christ, if you guys love her so much then why don't you start a CJ Famn Club, send her some famn mail, maybe publish a CJ Famnzine?

her song is abt wanting to be normal again except she already is normal why dont u see

this is too much for me. I think I need a flow chart.

Is that Common in the CJ Fam video?

You guys bailed on Madison on the end. Where is the love.

poor kaya: the ark music factory darling before rebecca black made it big can't even get one vote on this (obviously definitive) poll!

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/511E08GZV5L._SL500_AA300_.jpg

All in!

I'd'a voted if the poll leadtime wasn't so short. I got a couple hours on the computer a day tops and spotty internet access to boot ... I needed way more time to make my mind up. Which seat can I take?!

Of the ones I've watched, CJ Fam stood out bigtime. Kaya has charisma but in a way that's way too creepy, and her song was high turd. (OK, The Fam is turd, too, but it has an almost frightening intensity.) Sarah Mauotuoueaooga was sweet and boring. I hope that was her real boyfriend in the vid. Jolie Adamson just lacks.

Areiana Dvornik sounds like a budget Christina Milian

She'll never be a star, looks like her name fell out of a bag of Scrabble tiles.

― Ian Curtis danced like a tortured chicken DO U SEE (Phil D.)
I said the same thing about Christina Aguilera and Natalie Imbruglia when their first singles came out. Man, crow tastes like a ass.

http://img860.imageshack.us/img860/1537/yfy.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKaxiAoZc74

another video that Ark has seemingly disowned. I guess the grubby metal dudes and the drummer with "FREAK OUT!" painted on his bare chest were too racy for their own good. no Pato here, unfortunately.

can y'all start using another name for this guy

i mean, stop supporting trademark theft

I support calling him Fat Usher.

They took away "Girl Swag On" :(

Hey another one of those videos where they show people rocking but none of the instruments are actually in the song.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2ib7KVvc1qei4vno1_500.gif

lolled until i pooped

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrAq3giPqLw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsh5aIIf-2E

for completism's sake:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKMYyrhooJk

(song is an Ark Music production; video is obviously homemade)

would really love to see a documentary on the parents who do this for their kids

it's far less atrocious than the beauty pageants but i still think it's somewhat psychotic

aw dang, how did I overlook this arkmusik agit-pop jam?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRitln7HCuM

it's cool that she wrote the song herself, but I don't know why she enlisted Ark's help instead of just recording the song at home on a boombox and shooting the video outside her house with a few friends and a cheap camcorder.

(ok, I know why: rich parents)

CJ FAM slowed-down sounds kinda like the knife or something

not sure why I wrote her name in all caps

oooo oooo are you doing that via youtube? is there a website that enables you to do so? been dying to find something like that for days

someone posted the vid just a few posts before this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpWfAiz1RC0