Hollywood remakes of classic films

coming up:
seven samurai http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/may/04/seven-samurai-remake-weinstein
the birds http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0884788/
straw dogs http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0999913/
carrie (maybe)http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1939659/

footloose http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1068242/

one of those things is not like the others

i make it 2, maybe 3

http://www.movie-moron.com/?page_id=611

Akira
An American Werewolf In London
Child’s Play
Cleopatra
The Dambusters
Daredevil
Das Experiment
Death Note
Dune
Excalibur
Fantastic 4 Reborn
Frankenstein
Fright Night
Godzilla
Ghost In The Shell
The Great Gatsby
Judge Dredd
The Lone Ranger
Short Circuit
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Thin Man
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Timecrimes
The Three Musketeers
Total Recall
The Warriors

Hmm!

can't believe they're thinking about remaking 'fantastic 4 reborn'

An American Werewolf In London
Excalibur
The Thin Man
The Warriors

^ don't generally object to remakes, but would be somewhat sad if these were made. thin man might be okay, i guess...

Akira
Dune
Ghost In The Shell
Judge Dredd
Timecrimes
Total Recall

^ would love to see these done right and proper. esp if total recall went back to PKD for inspiration. [/nerd]

not that akira, ghost and timecrimes weren't pretty great to begin with...

pretty sure 'excalibur' is not the first film to do the arthurian legend!

yeah u can't really imagine them doing a remake of Excalibur per se but willing to bet it would be utter gash if they did [/Morbs]

the arthurian legend!

now there's your fucking title

Also, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1438176/
Watched the original a few weeks ago and it's as good as the day i 1st watched it. Have only liked Farrell in In Bruges, so i'm not over keen for this.

wish i felt the same. loved it at the time, but watching it a few months back, the only scenes i still loved were the disco seduction and [SPOILER]evil ed's death[/SPOILER].

No Roddy McDowall, fuck you

not you tenderizer

I've never seen Excalibur, I dont think

or Camelot

Boorman's Excalibur has some great faux-Celtic mysticism and a lot of well-used landscape cinematography, albeit interspersed with some pretty silly stuff. As an homage to weird old Britain it's pretty good I think and probs doesn't need some buff himbo rework. Never really fancied Camelot but I think there's one song in there I like?

Boorman's Excalibur has some great faux-Celtic mysticism and a lot of well-used landscape cinematography, albeit interspersed with some pretty silly stuff.

i.e., balance

thin man might be okay, i guess...

Johnny Depp + Rob Marshall says no

Weirdly, there are two films called Excalibur in development at the moment. The first one is a remake of the Boorman film with Bryan Singer directing and the other one is a new take written by Warren Ellis and directed by Guy Ritchie. Neither idea fills me with confidence.

they're doing this all wrong. they need to not only remake these movies, but all in mashup form.

An American Judge Dredd in London

oh jesus christ Guy Ritchie's Right Old Cockernees of the Rahnd Table Tear-Up Starring Danny Dyer as Merlin quick must find my Temazees

will watch tho

^ would love to see these done right and proper. esp if total recall went back to PKD for inspiration. [/nerd]

― contenderizer, Monday, May 30, 2011 4:44 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

yeah, well... len wiseman. so that's a no-go.

the fright night trailer is bizarre because it flat-out refuses to acknowledge that the roddy macdowell character (forget who's playing him) is even in the movie. maybe the studio wishes it was an entirely different movie.

oh jesus christ Guy Ritchie's Right Old Cockernees of the Rahnd Table Tear-Up Starring Danny Dyer as Merlin quick must find my Temazees

― banter panchali (Noodle Vague), Monday, May 30, 2011 6:45 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

lmao

i'm all for a 'fantastic four' flick if they make it a '60s period piece -- 'edgy' updates might work for some superheroes, but not the FF. kinda heartbreaking that they already threw away the galactus/silver surfer story on that shitty sequel.

'gatsby' isn't really a remake of the robert redford film, any more than that film was a remake of the alan ladd version. it's going to suck, of course -- FSF's novel is unfilmable.

the Boorman film with Bryan Singer directing

ugh

It's pretty surprising that we're getting a '60s set X-Men before Fantastic Four

i kinda feel like fantastic four is so much better suited to serialized storytelling than a punchy 2-hour movie

At this rate, there will be about 30 films in circulation being remade every 15 years :(

you know I thought I'd be more pissed off. A lot of those movies can be filmed in many different ways. I love Total Recall, but I've always wondered what the other proposed versions would have been like (e.g. a Total Recall starring William Hurt.)

Dune is doomed to be remade over and over until someone somehow makes a coherent film out of it.

im highly opposed to any Total Recall remake since it's a perfect film as is, but im especially opposed to one by the guy who directed Underworld and Die Hard 4

it's def. hella awesome, but it's also unique you know? It's a total batshit Verhoeven-Arnold version, so I don't object to a different take on it. The basic premise is so wonderful that you can go at it in many ways.

oh i almost forgot: the new one doesnt take place on mars either.

well if they're just making another movie based on the original short story then there's no reason for it to be set on Mars.

maybe they should give David Cronenberg a shot at doing the Total Recall he wanted to do back then

im highly opposed to any Total Recall remake since it's a perfect film as is, but im especially opposed to one by the guy who directed Underworld and Die Hard 4

― a thong of ice and fire (Princess TamTam), Tuesday, 31 May 2011 00:08 (1 hour ago)

seriously.

would watch a cronenberg version of total recall though.

http://deadline.com/2016/08/bradley-cooper-lady-gaga-a-star-is-born-warner-bros-remake-1201804358/

STOP WORLD STOP

didja see this one?

http://variety.com/2016/film/news/sofia-coppola-beguiled-remake-nicole-kidman-1201741673/

did the world really need three ben-hur movies?

Or A Star Is Born x4 (and apparently there are more in other countries)?

this is the sixth Ben-Hur (film or TV).

I'm generally Siegel-Eastwood fan but The Beguiled isn't that good to begin with.

i think each generation gets the star is born they deserve

i downloaded a hip hop track just now and the captcha i had to type in was

See Ben Hur

Hur Ben Hur

Hurge Ben Hur

Ben Hur 2016 flopped. Good.

http://www.denofgeek.com/uk/movies/remakes/36637/109-movie-remakes-and-reboots-currently-in-the-works

Good luck indeed with Seven Samurai

A remake of The Naked Gun that isn't a spoof?

David Fincher doing Strangers on a Train could work.

David Fincher doing Strangers on a Train

I opted not to click the above link specifically to avoid such nauseating prospects.

Seriously. Like someone could possibly top Throw Mama.

I think the Goosebumps director doing Seven Samurai was the worst.

OK, so clicked anyway and, some WTF ones aside (Flatliners?!), most of these are of the "who gives a shit" variety (another Batman movie? You're kidding!). Only SoaT, Don't Look Now, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance and a Michael Bay-produced The Birds are all that frightening to me.

Not a film but, hey Hollywood: instead of making the bizarre decision to let Chris Columbus resurrect Alfred Hitchcock Presents (which, in NOT keeping with the spirit of the original, will apparently feature season-long remakes of Hitchcock films) why not maybe make the second half of the original series or y'know any of the '80s reboot available for people to watch, kthanx.

Then there's

http://deadline.com/2016/09/johnny-depp-murder-on-the-orient-express-at-fox-1201828368/

loled at this summing up of cinema-in-2016 by the guy doing the new pumpkinhead:

There’s a lot of Easter eggs for people who know the original — iconic shots and iconic lines that we’re going to use. But we’ve enhanced the setting, and we’ve expanded the characters somewhat, to give it a different kind of experience.

don't care what they do to murder on the orient express because it has always been dreadful. the train doesn't even move. why be on the train.

The secret is this is Murder By the Orient Express, where the train eats people.

all the trains eat people.

Most of these remakes are not ruining anything genuinely classic. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is a true classic and any remake of it would not be worth a fig in comparison.

curious what they'd replace "pilgrim" with. "sjw" maybe.

the MAD parody of Murder on the Orient Express is v funny

loled at this summing up of cinema-in-2016 by the guy doing the new pumpkinhead:

There’s a lot of Easter eggs for people who know the original — iconic shots and iconic lines that we’re going to use. But we’ve enhanced the setting, and we’ve expanded the characters somewhat, to give it a different kind of experience.

― florence foster wallace (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 29 September 2016 18:58

Never trust a geeky creator who uses the word "iconic" excessively.

iconic shots to appear in remake of pumpkinhead:

1) camera dives into pool w pumpkinhead

2) camera rises thru rafters of theater to reveal pumpkinhead holding nose

3) pumpkinhead stares wistfully at binary sunset

4) pumpkinhead traverses corridor lit by human arms extending from walls holding jack-o-lanterns

5) ape tosses uncultivated squash into air; jump-cut to pumpkinhead

Not the same thing at all, but speaks beautifully to another of the cliches of journalism and press hype around these kinds of movies: http://www.theonion.com/article/candy-land-screenwriter-under-impression-fans-coun-53517