tipping

it's like pissing in that way

you mean if I don't tip then one day my wallet will fill up so much it will burst?

i have never honestly thought "i wish i didn't have to pee"

Wait till middle age and your shrinking bladder disturbs your sleep every night at 3:30.

or wait until all of the hydration you did before going onstage for Beethoven's "Missa Solemnis" catches up with you

Pissa Solemnis

Oh c'mon, frogs, everybody's had a "photo finish"

Speaking of "photo finish"

I do have a really bizarre tipping scenario that'll probably get me banned if I post it here

PLEASE TELL IT

^^^^^^^^^^

omg it's twin hookers isnt it

Man, when you set posts up like that frogs, it's kinda like the fratboy who says "hey watch this" before accidentally blowing his nuts off with a firecracker...

uh

I mean, fratboy who sets himself on fire doing a flaming shot, sure, but that hypothetical seems excessive

But how much should the frat boy tip the bartender on the flaming shot?

omg it's twin hookers isnt it

I was imagining it having something to do with how to tip strippers of different "races".

there's a 'stiffing' joke in here somewhere

apparently it involves pissing, so I am just going to assume it's something about a friend who didn't tip a hooker after accidentally pissing on him/her

maybe the hooker pissed on the friend, but it wasn't in the pre-negotiated terms, and he forgot to tip her for it?

I am not assuming anyone's gender here

actually you're pretty close, I would imagine most of the people reading this thread have sb'd me anyway so here goes nothing

day = made

i hope this thread does not end up being my legacy

lololololol

call the nyt obit people now

man i have a personal rule not to use any variation of popcorn.jpg but u are making it hard here froggy

if you actually manage to roll racism, sexism, lol fat people, lesbians are ugly, and watersports into a single anecdote, i will remove all of your sbs

i mean it's like, i have had plenty of good threads, why is this The One

(note: i will not actually do this)

:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=angi1vwUkQc

" racism, sexism, lol fat people, lesbians are ugly, and watersports "

riyl: dane cook dvds.

it has to do with a friend of mine's 21st birthday. it's like 1:00 (bar close is 2:15 here) and he decides that we all have to go to a strip club. being his birthday we have to say yes so we head on out there. he is nearly blackout drunk by this point. has a few more drinks there and someone buys him a lap dance. after a couple of minutes we hear a scream and the guy bolts for the bathroom. he's yelling "I'm so sorry! I couldn't hold it!" which is funny to us until we realize what we're actually laughing at. he actually vomitted on the stripper while she was grinding on him. obviously everyone in the bar starts giving us death stares and the bouncer says "as soon as he's done in there, you guys are out of here". understandable. we frantically discussed, "how much should we tip her for this??" the conclusion was that it had to be at least $100. i don't think this situation is outlined anywhere. i think that tipping $20 is worse than tipping nothing, but how much is enough to make her feel even a little bit forgiving, or is there no amount? then I realized, if this was like Vegas or something, the tip would have to be at least a grand, wouldn't it?

how many people in birthday party were black

enjoy an sb from me 2 u

how many people in birthday party were black

give it a rest man

*makes obligatory nick cave ref so none of you nerds have to*

Man I'm getting Deja Vu from this.

right?

enjoy an sb from me 2 u

imho yesterday was more deserving of an sb for the casual reference, glad i didn't save it for today

casual "racism" that should read

well i had to work yesterday so if you wanna pretend i did it yesterday by all means

close your eyes
give me your hand, darling
do you feel my sides heaving
do you understand
aching sides and all
am I only dreaming
or is this burning
an eternal lol

imo the story would have been much better if the stripper had done the puking

A very merry suggest ban to you!

http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/layoutpics/characters/mad-hatter-disney.jpg

also if the stripper had been wearing a trucker hat

someone trying to steal the inappropriate puking in a sexual situation story crown

that story was actually much less awful than i expected

my first read thru of that winning post had me convinced it wasn't puke that he couldn't hold in

I kind of like the idea of a Highlander-esque battle over this

wouldn't lower myself to puke-jousting in a public arena tbh