John Petrucci brings you...ROCK DISCIPLINE (a picture thread if the pictures can fit)

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TELL ME HOW CAN I PLAY GUITAR LIKE A GIRL AND NOT BE OBJECTIFIED AS IF I WAS A GIRL etc etc

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(how much more would he rule if his next CD was actually called that, I ask you!)

I used to buy cheap drum vids from the sale bin at this one music store in high school, like Bobby Rock and Nick McBrain (which is intentionally HILARIOUS, I highly recommend it).

Now everytime at practice, I gently remind my drummer to balance the tip of his drumstick to the middle of the snare. Let it drop and bounce, drop and bounce.

A Robert Fripp guitar instructional video would r0x0r. Mr Fripp would undoubtedly fix the viewer w/a steely, studious glare, and regale him/her about the history of EG records, mixed in with factual corrections of his critics for 2 1/2 hrs. perhaps he will show you how to play a bit of "21st Century Schizoid man", or, perhaps he will spit on your foot, who knows?

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off to the bumsex thredd...

...it's actually one of the only instructional videos mentioned on the thread worth a bean. It's really cool.

1 Modes No More Mystery, Frank G $49.95 1 $49.95

Oh, you better post that shit.

JOHN PETRUCCI: ROCK DISCIPLINE
DVD begins with opening credits sequence of footage of Petrucci onstage playing hilarious cheese rock power ballad solo on an Ibanez asshat multicolored dork guitar of some sort.

"Hi, I'm John Petrucci. Welcome to my video."

He kind of talks like he's chewing his face. He also has the basic doofus disposition of most guitar teachers I've met. The first thing he wants you to do is tune to his open A string. It's weird because he goes "Here's my open A." and then there's like 15 more seconds of his onstage footage followed by an extremely goofy close up of him playing an open A in the studio.

Warm up Exercises: Stretches and Massages

"Ooh! My arm just cracked, and yours might also!"
Now he's showing me his little stretch routine, some junior high P.E. type shit followed by the carpal tunnel wrist stretch shit that everybody knows. Then he streches his thumbs by pulling them back towards his wrist. This is some exciting shit right here.

"Now let's move on to massages" - he pauses for a few seconds like he thought there was gonna be a fade-out, then he suddenly starts talking again. I can't wait to see the blooper reel.
Now he's rubbing himself in various places.......
..................................
..................................
..................................
..................................
..................................
..........okay, he's done!

Warm up exercises: Left Hand

You know who he's really starting to look like to me? Paul Reubens in his adult theater arrest mugshot, maybe crossed with a little Dave Grohl. Right now he's playing some boring arpeggios that he apparently uses to warm up. I just noticed his wedding ring - some poor woman is actually MARRIED to this guy?

BOOOOOORING! COME ON PETRUCCI, MAKE ME A PROG MONSTER!!!
This section seems excruciatingly long, but I'm sure it's only been like 5 minutes.

Warm up Exercises: Right Hand

"As you just heard, that exercise involved notes that were being arpeggiated intervalically." OH FFS, JUST GET ON WITH IT YOU TWAT!
Picking exercises using barre chords.....blah.
"Remember to pick down up down up down up down up"
Oh thank you, I've never even thought of doing it that way before! Grrrrrrrr......
Now we're practicing up down up down! Yaaaaaay!
double..........triple.......yawn.
Oh, he does it super fast with his FX on at the end, that was kinda cool.

On practicing....

I didn't anticipate this. Apparently there are mock interview lecture segments featuring Petrucci sitting at a mixing board trying to look professional. Here he just talks about having a huge file cabinet full of guitar exercises from magazines, books, videos and such split into four categories:
1. Scalar and linear examples
2. Arpeggiated examples
3. Left-hand or legato playing
4. Sweep picking
He practices files from each section every day in equal proportion.
Whatever........Oh, good he has his guitar again...

Exercises: Left and right hand
The one he's doing now sounds like something out of "Bitches Brew".
Just more warm up shit.
"Now, you should also practice the same exact exercise starting on an upstroke as well, to make sure that you're...ambipickstrous"
That was one of his JOKES, people. He RAISED HIS EYEBROWS and everything!
He does some more variations on this exercise.....

"And that will wrap up our warm up exercises."
Thank the lord.

Technique: Speed and Accuracy
"blah blah metronome blah blah blah down up down up down up blah blah blah"
He's playing a major scale very slowly to a click.
He increases his speed until he's shredding. ho-hum.
Now he's doing chromatic shit.
Faster and faster. He's really quite skilled, I suppose. The one at 208bpm was pretty awesome sounding. Reminds me of the Bill and Ted soundtrack or something.
He does all this again with another scale.

First band...
Another mock-interview segment. He talks about playing the "Hey Hey My My" riff with a bunch of kids when he was 12. Who cares...

Scale Fragments and sequences
more speed building exercises played very slowly.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................
He shreds a little again after that and then shows how to develop these exercises into a sequence.
This DVD has a lot of this:
bum.....................bum..............................bum..........................bum....................bum
"And here's how I play it!"
bumbumbumbumbubmbumbubmbubmubmbmbumubmbubmubmubmumbbubmbubmbubmbubmbbububmbuubmbububmbbubbmbbubmbbubmbbubbmbm
This goes on and on until he does a solo demonstration to an electronic cheese ballad sequencer backing which is the most exciting part of the video so far!

About influences...
Another bullshit talking thing. At first he liked Black Sabbath, Zeppelin, The Who, Iron Maiden....Rush, Yes, Randy Rhodes AND THEN HE FINALLY DISCOVERED STEVE MORSE AND HIS LIFE CHANGED AND HE BOUGHT EVERY DREGS ALBUM and then Al Di Miola and Allan Holdsworth. Stevie Ray Vaughan blah blah etc.

Right Hand Technique: Picking Arpeggios
Talks about how difficult alternate picking quickly through arpeggios is for most guitarists, including him.
"Some guys have this taken care of, and uh...we'll have to shoot 'em all!"
Another JOKE. You can tell when he's trying to make a joke cuz he gets this rodenty little smirk on his face.
Oh great, he's come up with his own "etude" (FFS) to work out this problem. He demonstrates it. It's awful.
blah blah blah.....
OH NO ANOTHER "ETUDE" MAKE IT STOP!
He's the first rock guitarist I've ever seen pretentious enough to refer to an etude by its proper name. Like he's Segovia or some shit. Please.
Would it kill him to just say, "Here's a little thing I made up to help me practice this."?

Lessons & Berklee...
Talks about his nerdly Berklee education.

Left Hand Technique: Legato Playing
Exercising the left hand with hammerons and pulloffs. Some of it kinda sounds like "Eruption".
I forgot to mention that he is filmed with a purple lens filter for much of this. it really brings out his choadliness.
He wants us to massage ourselves again cuz now it's time to put it all together and shred!.
He makes like Steve Vai at the end of Crossroads for a few minutes, then plays some shit slow for a while, finally showing us again how fast A REAL ASSHOLE LIKE HIM can play it! Some VH tapping in there as well...

About the band...
Talks about his nerdly band Dream Theater. How much better they are now than when they started as teenagers etc.

Right Hand Technique: Sweep Picking
Yngwie time!
"It's sort of a weapon or tool to execute a fast flurry of notes!"
I have to admit that when he's doing this stuff it sounds fucking BADASS.
When he's demonstrating something sometimes he'll leave his mouth open and practically pant like a dog. He's a mouth breather, folks.
I gotta learn this sweeping stuff. The tournament guys are suckers for it. Teach me to sweep Mr. Miyagi!.....err, Petrucci.
ANOTHER "ETUDE", GAH!!!!!
...but this one actually sounds pretty cool with all the sweep picking.

Writing with the Band...
Talks about Dream Theater's writing process. I sure no one one ILX gives a flying fuck. He does mention liking Zappa's music, which is not a point against him in my book, but I know it is for some of us here.

Chordal Techniques: Building Chords
"By adding certain notes to these (power) chords we're gonna MUTATE them and we're gonna add some colors and drama to basic chord progressions"
Wheeee!
"Let's first make sure everyone knows what the power chord is."
FFS, I'm sure everyone who got past the Yngwie-style section of the DVD knows what a fucking power chord is, John.
This is all pretty basic Chord Theory.
He plays a godawful little progression he made up at the end of it. No wonder Dream Theater sucks so bad.
He says something about that progression not making much sense by itself. No shit. Then he does a song with his cheesy sequencer, complete with solo.
I sure hope we're almost done here...

John's Guitars and Live Stage Set Up
He shows off his wankeriffic gear setup. He's got one of those flashing rack FX units that looks like a spaceship control panel, of course.
He shreds a bit while demonstrating his FX.

"We've covered a lot of ground in this video and it's a lot of information to swallow!"
The credits have more onstage asshat footage. God damn this video is from 1995?

The blooper reel was no great shakes, it's mostly footage of him fucking up the introduction and saying his own name wrong. Not much in the way of guitar fuckups.

There's some more bonus features, but I have no intention of watching any of them any time soon:
Tuning Segment
Backstage With John
G3 Tour Footage
Interactive Tour of John's Guitar
Dream Theater discography
Additional Product Reviews

Thanks Ned. :-)

Jeff Baxter American Guitar Technique w/Japanese sub-titles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVawcjJ27vk

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_the_Keyboard_Breaks:_Live_in_Chicago

1. "Universal Mind (When the Keyboard Broke)" 2:20
2. "The Chicago Blues & Noodle Factory" 7:03
3. "Fade Away or Keep Going?" 5:03
4. "The Haunted Keyboard" 9:34
5. "Close Encounters of the Liquid Kind" 15:13
6. "Ten Minute Warning" 5:55
7. "That 'Ol Broken Down Keyboard Blues" 6:34
8. "Liquid Anthrax" 4:55
9. "That's All Folks!" 2:12

Poll.

I like how it just randomly mentions Charlie Benante there in the summary.

oh hey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc3i9GdVLsI

oh oh levin alert!!

cool legato phrases, bro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k40sTyyGLd4

alan holdworth talks and performs with the mighty SYNTHAXE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aAYfZdkCA8&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GtbBmNEEWg&feature=related

oh wow, hour long documentary about dream theater auditioning drummers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L609JsPFmmI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRQJgZVxRX0

i fucking WANT that shirt gambale's wearing in the "modes: no more mystery" pic up top. '80s geometric abstraction/bauhaus revivalism FTW.

coffee shop near my office has a chalkboard where they ask questions, today's was "celebrity living or dead you'd like to have dinner with." right up at the top someone wrote

JOHN PETRUCCI

this is on youtube

might as well post this here, mike portnoy talks drum chops. epic hair.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no4luPP6t9c

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Any new examples of such madness?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uwyHPa6RB0

I should have known.

you're welcome

I'm honestly surprised his shows aren't just him talking the whole time.

ned i don't know if you saw this but it's amusing tone attorney content

Carr Mercury - Holy Grail of Tone - 800 (Lino Lakes)

Oh dear.