There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to jump all night!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (227 of them)

unfortunately i'm not at work because i'm about to get laid off of my brand new 2month old job. told me to take the day off while they figure out things.

so it's 11.15, he's still here.

this is his threatening pose. if people come too close he dangles a little bit
http://www.art-ificial.com/jump/6.jpg

he looks pretty freaked
http://www.art-ificial.com/jump/4.jpg

he told everybody to leave him alone and he laid down.
http://www.art-ificial.com/jump/3.jpg

finally i think they're just getting sick of waiting so they pulled out the big guns.
http://www.art-ificial.com/jump/5.jpg

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:23 (twenty years ago) link

I think jumping into that horrible car would be more painful in so many ways than jumping onto those mattresses.

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 19:25 (twenty years ago) link

they should get the k-9 unit onto the roof

― kephm, Friday, 5 December 2003 19:26 (twenty years ago) link

a) he looks like an easily-lassoed suspect

b) if they coated the ground in soap or hope, he'd never jump

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:26 (twenty years ago) link

he looks pretty freaked

That picture should be the cover of a Kool Keith project or something.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:27 (twenty years ago) link

If he jumps on that dude with the baseball cap, they have no one to blame but themselves. And hstencil.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:27 (twenty years ago) link

Also: http://www.myprops.co.uk/images/replica-sml/k9.gif

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:27 (twenty years ago) link

you should try to sell those photos, esp. if you're about to be laid off.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:28 (twenty years ago) link

i was thinking of selling them. who would i sell them too? local newspapers? what do i say?

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:30 (twenty years ago) link

well, i just sold some of those to the chronicle. so, i guess that's out :)

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:31 (twenty years ago) link

12 hours for the cops to figure a laddertruck may be a help ! genius.
if he jumps will you look away?

― kephm, Friday, 5 December 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

haha. ass

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

that ass was directed at dean

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

you know how i likes it bud

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

i think your best bet is to shoot this guy, so that will make it was front page story and then your photos will be totally k-valueable

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

If you sell those pix you'll be rolling in it!

http://www.gamers.com/i/pics/288810_t.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:43 (twenty years ago) link

That guy would be worth about 500 points in Grand Theft Auto.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

i don't really play games so that's not so much of a concern to me, but thanks

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

well, not to poop on yr parade, but the fact that you've posted them here has diminished their value. but yeah try local papers first.
tabloids might buy too.
some papers have a policy against publishing suicide attempt photos for fear of creating the impression that it's an easy way to get publicity/attention.
but ask for the managing or deputy editor.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:47 (twenty years ago) link

i'm much more interested in whether these photos will be bought than the actual outcome of jumper. is this wrong?

― mark cunningham (robotsinlove), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:56 (twenty years ago) link

a friend has suggested that i put my speakers out the window and blast Van Halen's "Jump" or kriss kross or house of pain or 'another one bites the dust'

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:59 (twenty years ago) link

too easy.

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf500/f596/f59631u2zw0.jpg

go for the 7th track of this one, instead.

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:02 (twenty years ago) link

On the 'pretty freaked' photo, he looks like he's doing a dance move.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:09 (twenty years ago) link

I heard them mention him on KGO this morning... you could almost hear the smirk in the traffic reporters voice as she mentioned "a man threatening to jump from a one story building..."

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:11 (twenty years ago) link

so what's the status, eh? is that big yellow lift proving to be the godsend or what?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, the classic mid '80s Run-DMC stance

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

I like how the cop up on the roof brought a bottle of Cranberry Snapple with him.. just in case.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:13 (twenty years ago) link

urinary tract infections don't stop for derelicts.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:14 (twenty years ago) link

he totally wanted that snapple. but he didn't want to leave his ledge. he told everybody to leave him alone so he could drink, but he never actually got it.

right now everybody has left him alone. there's no one on the truck either. it's pretty weird. he's probably freaked out by all the people.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:18 (twenty years ago) link

borrrring.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:20 (twenty years ago) link

instigate something. it's your duty as a journalist.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:21 (twenty years ago) link

Do you have a BB gun?

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:23 (twenty years ago) link

Why don't you shout out to him casually. "Hey! What's up?"

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:25 (twenty years ago) link

you should play charades with him.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

or "Hey, I put you on the internet! You're famous! You're Low Roof Man!"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

Why doesn't somebody just sneak up behind him and yell "boo" and get this shit over with, god.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

He kinda looks like David Blaine...

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:27 (twenty years ago) link

ask him what his favorite star wars movie is, or something.

"dude! do you watch 'ER' anymore? what do you think!?"

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:29 (twenty years ago) link

if i weren't at work, i'd photoshop various hats on him! ooh that'd be pleasant!

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:30 (twenty years ago) link

Dean = Ed Grimley

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:31 (twenty years ago) link

I'd turn him into an animated GIF with a MIDI of The Ketchup Song playing.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:32 (twenty years ago) link

New picture! I feel lost now...

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

This just in:

http://hot.ee/runescape3d/suicide.gif

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:39 (twenty years ago) link

JaXon, do you have a loud stereo and a copy of "Jump" by Kris Kross?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:46 (twenty years ago) link

hey looky me!

― JaXon's post at 11:59 AM (gygax!), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

that's been addressed upthread.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

But he still didn't answer the question!

― Sulky Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:51 (twenty years ago) link

i'll take his silence to mean "yes i have the kris kross, multiple copies in fact, but no i dont have a big stereo, all i have is my little sister's my little pony boombox"

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

EVEN BETTER

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

WAYE BETTAR

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:58 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 127 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

hey everybody, it's sad that this guy is sick and he jumped, but he JUST BROKE HIS LEG

please stop thinking he's dead

― JaXoN (JasonD), Monday, 8 December 2003 20:49 (twenty years ago) link

See, that's one reason it's still funny, that's exactly what Tom said he'd do!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 December 2003 21:01 (twenty years ago) link

yeah, looks at all the pain this jerk has caused by not dying.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Monday, 8 December 2003 21:07 (twenty years ago) link

despite all the ILX concern and Ja><0n's internet play by play, this never made the local news.

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 8 December 2003 21:07 (twenty years ago) link

well, i think sf bums have to try much harder.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Monday, 8 December 2003 21:10 (twenty years ago) link

that's the big league, man. this isn't albuquerque.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Monday, 8 December 2003 21:10 (twenty years ago) link

I read this thread for the first time almost immediately post-jump. It was kind of funny until the photo of the man standing up and hugging himself, with one of the most wierdly vacant and frightening expressions on his face that I've ever seen. I kept reading the thread but that was the point when I thought "this may not turn out well". It wasn't really funny anymore after seeing him up close.

― webcrack (music=crack), Monday, 8 December 2003 23:15 (twenty years ago) link

Thats more why I felt a bit off about this right from the start (and no, I'm not being self righteous, if others thought it was funny good on 'em). I found myself thinking though: "why is this funny because its one storey up and hes a silly supposedly homeless man? Look at his face, he looks pretty disturbed and scared".

If the person on the roof had been a famous singer y'all love, and it looked like something was amiss with them to be on that roof, would you still have made stupid cracks about it?

(NB: person on roof being Marissa Mentalist does not count in my hypothetical here ;P)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 00:25 (twenty years ago) link

If it had been Michael Jackson, I might have exploded.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 03:54 (twenty years ago) link

With LOVE

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 03:56 (twenty years ago) link

weirdly vacant and frightening expressions

After the jump that was what stuck in my mind, I actually went back to look at it. You try to interpret it. Is that the abyss staring back, or is it a belly full of booze?

― Hunter (Hunter), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 04:08 (twenty years ago) link

Think if his family members or friends stumble across this thread.
-- A Nairn (moreta...), December 6th, 2003.

or HIM.
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), December 6th, 2003.

Classic one-two punch of this whole thread. Real Abbott-Costello type shit. Genius. I'm sure the reason he was on that roof was because his iMac was on the fritz. Wocka wocka.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 04:52 (twenty years ago) link

Jumpers never make the news. Our mysterious half-nude jumper didn't make the local news. He got about 5 lines in the Camden New Journal, mainly because they were asking for information, cause I don't think they could figure out who he was.

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 09:08 (twenty years ago) link

Okay I'm a latecomer to this thread but whenever I hear anything about people falling from buildings I always have to check to see how high it was because I'm competitive. My fall was four stories, muthafucka! Take that! etc. It also did not make the news. But then again I wasn't a jumper, I just fell.
That said, I came out of it with a broken back and leg broken in two places and am pretty much fine. This is after spending the better part of a year in a wheelchair learning to walk again. I found this thread to be pretty funny, but then again as I was lying on the ground in pain I was cracking (lame) jokes about how it looks really easy when Catwoman bounces off buildings, etc.

Black humor is a necessary part of coping with life. You laugh to keep from crying. It doesn't make you insensitive or inhumane or a shit in general. It's not like anyone here was on the street itself laughing and pointing and throwing rocks at him.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:30 (twenty years ago) link

five years pass...

there's someone across my (new) house threatening to jump again.

firetrucks have blocked off the whole street. i even saw a cop w/a shotgun!

― (jaxon) ( .) ( .) (jaxon), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 01:12 (fifteen years ago) link

There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to jump all night!

wouldn't he get tired?

― totally dude (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 01:48 (fifteen years ago) link

I rewatched Best in Show on Sunday and I forgot the guy whose job was talking people down from suicides. "They always jump." Later his son's on the roof & he's yelling things at the kid like "I will shove my thumb in your eyeball until it's jelly!" OH MY GOD the laughs.

― test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees (Abbott), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 03:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Jumpers never make the news.

I think these things aren't usually published to prevent copycat suicides, which are a sad but true thing.

― test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees (Abbott), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 03:54 (fifteen years ago) link

There was a guy in Manchester (UK) quite a few years ago on top of department store threatening to jump. The crowds were treating it like a day out, shouting jump and laughing. Quite a bizarre moment really 1st time you see it.

jaxon, maybe it’s a sign, maybe you have to dedicate your life to save jumpers?

― not_goodwin, Wednesday, 13 May 2009 07:50 (fifteen years ago) link

i even saw a cop w/a shotgun!

What's the thinking there? Don't jump or we'll shoot?

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 13 May 2009 08:39 (fifteen years ago) link

That's the plot of an episode of Sledgehammer!, isn't it?

― dada wouldn't buy me a bauhaus (aldo), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 08:48 (fifteen years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.