saw really shitty x-files

SELFOSOPHY - AN UNCOERCED RETRACTION

haha the lidsville clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOyG9WN9udI

haha, wtf @ millenium clip. that show was funny? i never saw it.

i watched these two last night:

http://redwolf.com.au/xfiles/season02/2x14.html
http://redwolf.com.au/xfiles/season02/2x15.html

both were pretty good.

but i like the mythology episodes the best

I'm sure you were all left in terrible suspense: the kid could control bugs because he was some sort of part-man / part-giant-insect hybrid.

He got the insect part from his mother, who, in a rude but appropriate bit of casting, was played by Jane Lynch:

http://www.nndb.com/people/747/000115402/jane-lynch-1-sized.jpg

(P.S. I think J Lynch is pretty)

When Mulder and Scully are called to look into the matter, the town's real worshippers attempt to hide their tracks though they fear that the boys' attempt to 'get some', got them more than they thought.

the only ones i remember are the really creepy ones: the mutant retard brothers who store their legless mother on a dolly under their bed, and the chinese organ transplant contest one (which i think was the first one i saw)

i watched half of this one about a guy who cut women's hair and killed them but it was too much silence of the lambs and not enough aliens so i turned it off

the one where scully gets a tattoo and sleeps with some creepy guy and i think he is eithr some kind of vampire or wiccan ...also the tattoo can talk

Wait, I remember this one. It was totally non-supernatural: something about the red dye in the tattoo having some sort of ergot-based effect that was basically making the guy trip out and think the tattoo was telling him to kill people? And then obviously Scully's first reaction to hallucinogen exposure is to get all horny, adding a third dimension to the previous pair of professional / crying.

she gets an ourobouros

I'm not sure I like but am enthralled most of all by the one with the photographer who knows when people are going to die.

the mutant retard brothers who store their legless mother on a dolly under their bed

holy shit, i don't think i saw this one but it sounds terrifying.

xpost - Although to be fair, I guess they didn't ramp up the "poor Scully has cancer and OMG her baby and OMG she's crying, poor Scully" stuff until later on

retard bros ep is "Home" - only shown once on TV I think?

Weren't the retard brothers burying an aborted satan foetus or something?

I think it was the mutant hyper-inbred child they'd had with their mother.

The thrust of that one seemed to be to just take the inbred backwoods survivalist yokel commonplace to the most extreme level of creepiness possible (e.g., not only do they store creepy ancient mom on a trundle, but now you get the inevitable mental image of them, like, doing their mom, on the trundle)

(pardon me, I have to go throw up)

the one where scully gets a tattoo and sleeps with some creepy guy and i think he is eithr some kind of vampire or wiccan ...also the tattoo can talk

― bell_labs, Thursday, December 20, 2007 10:01 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

watching this one now. so bad.

yeah that one is awful. really, the show starts sucking after season 4 imo

fun fact: the tattoo was voiced by jodie foster

but yeah starting with season 5 it gets pretty rough

― latebloomer, Thursday, December 20, 2007 11:58 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i just say the same shit over and over

The Gillian Anderson-directed and written episode from S7, "all things" is sloooo00w.

season 6 is very silly

the 2 part body-swap story featuring michael mckean & nora dunn

wherein michael mckean's character, in mulder's body, tries to seduce scully on a waterbed, among other zany mishaps

also the dang time-travel bermuda-triangle episode where the cigarette smoking man is there and so is krycek and agt spender except they are NAZIS speaking german phonetically

what is this, i can't even

ha, i love that episode!

it has some pretty neat camerawork iirc -- the scene where scully is racing around the fbi building trying to get information in a continuous extended shots was p impressive -- but the whole time travel interlude was hilariously bad imho

still entertaining tho

S6 definitely had a lighter tone than before, but the overall quality of the episodes was better than S5 imo. S7 on the other hand....

yeah the time travel one is fun and flashy and very well-edited but boy is it ever stupid. Didn't Carter write it? You'd think he'd know his characters well enough that he wouldn't have Mulder say "Sorry, I don't speak Nazi."

that tattoo one is dumb too but the parts with Mulder & Scully are actually really good in depicting people who have been working together for way too long and can barely stand each other. Been a while since I've seen it but I remember the last scene being really uncomfortable and passive-aggressive in a way that the show usually isn't.

this christmas haunted house ep with lily tomlin and ed asner, what is even happening with this show

oh my god the one where jack black's bff is this hot dumb kid who can call up lightening and stuff and he loves the vandals and they also play "hey man nice shot" while he is looking at the teacher he wants to bone from under a car and he blows these guys up because they play his special video game at the arcade and then you see that he has ALL the top scores

actually that's the best one

this damn show

alien baseball jerkoff bullshit

no

lol

the one w/ giovanni ribisi and jack black was pretty dumm

Hahaha every time I'm scrolling through xfiles on Netflix and see that baseball episode pop up just think no thx.

Not sure when it happened but whenever they moved away from the 100% spooky scoring is when everything started going downhill.

wherein michael mckean's character, in mulder's body, tries to seduce scully on a waterbed, among other zany mishaps

saw this one again recently, so bad

COPS crossover episode, good gravy

I liked that one!

this damn show

alien baseball jerkoff bullshit

no

ugh yeah i hated that shit so much. Season 6 and onward = http://24.media.tumblr.com/e93d670c97ff937c205ed4744657c683/tumblr_mjri88Daev1qdwxz5o2_1280.png

honestly when they moved production to LA it became a different show

a much sunnier, shittier show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeHZ-GEpVnw
this was best. well tied for best with alex trebek and jesse ventura MIB episode.

are there any worse than this one?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Person_Shooter_(The_X-Files)
http://www.txf.net/ecards/large_fpsmulder.jpg

it's sad, because the first gibson-scripted one is pretty cool

haha i saw his name on the end credits and was like "...surely some other william gibson..."

there was a period where anything he wrote about real-world virtual reality and/or games was highly suspect

it dovetails nicely with his highly suspect screenplay work

The Kathy Griffin one might be worse but it's not as embarrassing for the leads.

I was having such a good day - cleaning the house, old X-Files episodes from Netflix playing in the background. Suddenly I'm confronted with this:

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CSHstykUsAAxIKc.jpg

lol

That's a good episode tho

just re-watched "The Blessing Way" for the first time since I was a teenager, holy shit, who told Chris Carter he could write Wise Native characters?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b3TrLpwxMxU/VU3y93Iu6xI/AAAAAAABDx8/ktQWlC98dMQ/s1600/xfiles050.jpg

can't wait to revive this brave new ways in the new year

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/01/x-files-2016-reboot-review

s4e11 "el mundo gira" -- worst fucking acting in the whole series (so far, haven't seen the whole thing yet) "SOY CHUPACABRA!!!!"

been rewatching most (not all) of the series and just watched this one from season 8 where a weird cult worships a slug, it was bad but it made me like john doggett

that chupacabra one is literally the first episode i ever saw when i was like 9. it is indeed terrible xp

doggett was an ok character that was killed by being in a show that should have been cancelled and scripts that made him a third wheel at best.

another s8 one i just watched called "salvage" in which a dude's turning into a metal man or some shit - pretty bad

at one point doggett says something like, "so we're looking for a man made of metal, that sort of thing only happens in the movies" and comes THIS CLOSE to spiking the camera afterward, like, YA GET IT Y'ALL?. can't decide if i love or hate that moment

did you get to the ass genie one?

skipped that one after seeing the description of it on vulture's recent ranking of all the episodes. but if it's hilarious-bad, might circle back to it

It's at least more entertaining than the metal-man or the garbage soap opera one around that time.

s9 ep. 5 - "lord of the flies": yung aaron paul pretending to be johnny knoxville! which is not without its appeal.

otherwise this is the hottest of garbage. there's a dumbass dude entomologist who's intended as like the dude parallel to dr. bambi in "war of the coprophages," puberty emotions causing the ability to control bugs, wayyyyyyyyy too many syd barrett posters

I bought the complete series a while back and we've been working our way through, a few bumps in the road but mostly more solid than I remembered, but now we're into season 5 and I'm recalling how my attention started to flag around then when watching these as they aired, and I'm starting to wonder whether I really needed to own the entire series after all.

This revive was triggered, by the way, by seeing 'Postmodern Prometheus', which always made me feel like I was missing something because it's so feted, but I think the stylization of the episode is maybe just camouflaging the fact that it's a suck-ass rapey shit episode.

lol and the "cher" concert

Up to that point I was all like, why were Carter's episodes of the recent revival so frikkin bad when most of his OG episodes were, while often a little purple dialogue-wise, pretty solid? And then I saw this and remembered what fame apparently did to his brain.

his ideas got more grandiose, but his budget didn't

they should have switched to an animated series around Season 7

machinima imo