best joke itt is whoever managed to screw up the settings so everything is italicized
― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 7 February 2012 02:12 (twelve years ago) link
[/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i]
I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a penis.
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 7 February 2012 02:43 (twelve years ago) link
Damn... all those tags couldn't remove the italics? Bummer.
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 7 February 2012 02:45 (twelve years ago) link
We have to go deeper.
ITALICEPTION
>>foghorn sound<<
― You got to ro-o-oll me and call me the tumblr whites (Phil D.), Tuesday, 7 February 2012 13:24 (twelve years ago) link
how do you titillate an ocelot?you stimulate its g-spot a lot
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 7 February 2012 18:43 (twelve years ago) link
what goes 'aaaa aaaaa aaaaa'
an extremely distressed child
― steep? that's where i'm off hiking (darraghmac), Monday, 27 February 2012 23:51 (twelve years ago) link
Prank call edition:
* ring ring * Caller: Is the refrigerator running?Unsuspecting Dupe: Uh... yes?Caller: Oh. You must not be a Bears fan, because William Perry suffers from Guillain–Barré syndrome and probably isn't running anywhere, you insensitive clod.* hang up *
― a serious minestrone rockist (remy bean), Monday, 27 February 2012 23:55 (twelve years ago) link
what's red and invisible
infra red light
― steep? that's where i'm off hiking (darraghmac), Monday, 27 February 2012 23:58 (twelve years ago) link
Q: What's yellow and dangerous?A: Mustard Gas
― get ready for the banter (NotEnough), Tuesday, 28 February 2012 13:40 (twelve years ago) link
"Knock knock"
"I'm sorry, who are you disparaging? I wasn't listening."
― Mark G, Tuesday, 28 February 2012 13:48 (twelve years ago) link
Q: How many kangaroos does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. It'd have to be a very large lightbulb though.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 28 February 2012 13:54 (twelve years ago) link
A horse walks into a bar. The barman shoos it out and tells its rider animals are not allowed in the bar, except guide dogs.
― Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Tuesday, 28 February 2012 14:08 (twelve years ago) link
A man sees another man with a banana sticking out of his ear. He informs him, "Excuse me, but did you know you have a banana in your ear?" The other man replies, "I'm sorry but I can't hear you - I attended a My Bloody Valentine show and couldn't wear earplugs because of the banana in my ear."
― Race Against Rockism (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 28 February 2012 18:59 (twelve years ago) link
https://twitter.com/#!/AntiJokeCat
― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 21 June 2012 08:26 (eleven years ago) link
Anti-Joke Cat@AntiJokeCatA dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
fail: joke.
― Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2012 08:46 (eleven years ago) link
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Odd question in terms of intentionality, does a chicken have any conception of 'road'.
― Stevolende, Thursday, 21 June 2012 22:23 (eleven years ago) link
When you're sliding into first, and you feel something burst...
God is dead.
― Neanderthal, Sunday, 3 July 2016 15:14 (seven years ago) link
'How do I get to Carnegie hall""Lady, go up 5th avenue, take a left at 57th street, down two blocks and there you are"
― Mark G, Monday, 4 July 2016 19:32 (seven years ago) link
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 6 had strong romantic feelings for 7 but subconsciously wondered if he wasn't good enough for her and how he could make the relationship work on his salary and how her kids from a previous relationship would receive him
― Neanderthal, Friday, 31 March 2017 03:42 (seven years ago) link
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
An elephant with a chronic case of diarrhea, and also it's part rhino.
― Ambling Shambling Man (Old Lunch), Friday, 31 March 2017 12:31 (seven years ago) link
A man walks in the park and sees another man with a dog sitting on a bench. "Does your dog bite?", asks the first man. "No" The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him. "I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angrily.
The second man replied - "Aye, normally he doesn't, but you're an annoying cunt"
― Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Sunday, 26 September 2021 14:53 (two years ago) link
Did you hear about the guy who stole all of the toilets from the police station?
Yeah, that sucks
― Disco Biollante (Neanderthal), Saturday, 13 January 2024 14:33 (three months ago) link