shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Grandfawker

someone from grand forks tweets at me:

@max_read she's such a trooper - the week after her cancer diagnosis she reviewed Altru Hospital's room service #eatbeat

Is it OK to still think this is funny then?

yeah

its a gentle, loving mockery

That is actually amazing.

guys guys guys... what if she's actually trolling us w this article?

I think she is.

http://www.accessmylibrary.com/article-1G1-165736373/grand-forks-herald-n.html

"The big soft shell at first glance reminded me of lefse"

and yes — several black olives

Gawker is on it. Not via max but anyway:

http://gawker.com/5891587/grand-forks-olive-garden-receives-positive-review

i can't even

Only time will tell if the still-too-new OG will rise to the top of the list: http://www.urbanspoon.com/lb/152/best-restaurants-Grand-Forks

SHE SPEAKS!

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2012/03/olive_garden_review_marilyn_hegarty.php

Your Olive Garden review has been getting a lot of attention on the Internet.

Yeah, I don't get it.

Hero.

I may sound a little on the defensive to you today because of the emails I've received. One was kind of snotty. But the other four or five were kind of friendly. But my daughter tells me I should go on Facebook and read all this crap. And I do not have time to let myself be bothered or read all that stuff. I have a Sunday column I'm doing now about a completely different subject. I don't have time to sit here and twit over whether some self-styled food expert likes, or does not like, my column. The publisher likes it.

I don't care whether they are or not. If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.

glad the internet could get its shit together on a thursday to laugh and point at an old lady for doing her job

She told everyone where to get the fuck off, and provided perfect context for it all as well. Any laughing I was doing earlier is rightly erased because she just pwned the world.

Yo Whiney it didn't make it into the VV piece linked above but she also a hella Community fan.

Hahahah

under 16,000 views on gawker
about 150 likes on the gawker article on facebook
she's received six e-mails

i thought the internet was bigger than this

I like marilyn hagerty

She seems like a cool lady

Small towns do their own thing, I'm down with Marilyn.

Also, tbf I had to write stuff that I myself would probably make fun of when I worked at a community newspaper.

I haven't checked lately because I'm in the middle of writing a Sunday column, and I hit the wrong key, and it flew away, and so I had to start all over again.

classic

under 16,000 views on gawker
about 150 likes on the gawker article on facebook
she's received six e-mails

i thought the internet was bigger than this

― da croupier, Thursday, March 8, 2012 2:04 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark

well i mean, think about how many times you've clicked on a 'funny link,' or shared it w/ people you know, and out of all those times how often you've decided to personally e-mail the person the funny story is by/about

who the hell sends an email just to say 'pathetic'?

can you imagine what the internet will be capable of when we're all her age?

its terrifying.

I was just thinking of what's going to take the place of Olive Garden by then.

cyber olive garden 2 point infinity

OLIVE GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE

mama...she loves the soylent garden

A good comment from elsewhere:

When you read Marilyn’s review, try reading it in your head in the voice of actor Sam Elliott.

exactly

If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.

Surely this is an impending board description.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/08/marilyn-hagerty-olive-garden_n_1332753.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Not that the Grand Forks Olive Garden is resting on its laurels. When we asked to speak to the location's general manager, Donald Szutenbach, we were told he was in Italy, training at the brand's Culinary Institute of Tuscany.

when did the onion switch to a paid content model, that is fucking ridiculous

Ages ago! And yes.

the onion's whole website is shit now unfortunately

:D

Marilyn takes America by viral storm

And there's video!

The NY Daily News ran an item yesterday about the danger of illegally imported beauty products that contain mercury. This part struck me as Onion-ish:

Here are some ways to tell if your products contain mercury.

Check the label for “mercurous chloride,” “calomel,” “mercuric,” “mercurio” or “mercury.” If you find any of those ingredients in your products, discard them immediately in a plastic bag or leak-proof container.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/mercury-found-lotions-cosmetics-fda-products-sold-ethnic-neighborhoods-online-article-1.1034686#ixzz1odgfzcsd

<3 guilelessness, <3 Marilyn

"The website postings were because residents of more metropolitan areas found it amusing that a chain restaurant would be reviewed. In larger markets, newspaper reviews are reserved for exclusive, high-end eateries that offer fine dining"

seriously:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/mar/28/stuart-pearce-making-plans-england

http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/defense-hazing-article-1.1059984

http://gma.yahoo.com/k-e-diet-brides-using-feeding-tubes-rapidly-080053646--abc-news-health.html

between this and the tupac hologram, what year am I living in?

http://queenanne.komonews.com/news/crime/739963-police-gun-pulled-following-poorly-attended-ska-show-queen-anne