Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

it felt more proust than hemingway to me

i like her writing!

― art dealin' thru the west coast (tpp), Friday, March 9, 2012 3:29 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the great thign about the original article is how coolly matter-of-fact it is.

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, March 9, 2012 3:25 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for real, i kept thinking "this isn't lolzy, this is some hemingway shit"

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, March 9, 2012 3:41 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this this this all this. she's a better writer than he is!

the great thign about the original article is how coolly matter-of-fact it is.

yeah, i'm missing the part where she's oohing and aahing about how great the olive garden is; she just basically says "yup, there's a new olive garden, the waiters wear uniforms, soup warms you up when it's cold."

"and yes - several black olives"

The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.

As I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways.

she writes in a really self-aware and intentional version of that semi-autistic yelper's style we all made fun of on the yelp thread

Like Robbe-Grillet, but with more of an emotional payoff.

Here's the thing about that: When you write steadily for 40-plus years, you get good at it.

Clowning on the style/content of writing like this: totally cool
Clowning on this particular review with friends/on a message board: fine
Clowning on the review in a professional-level forum: douchey as fuck

It's just one of those core comedy rules: if you're picking on someone who's perceived as having less power than yourself, chances are good that it's gonna come off to a lot of people as bullying.

Possibly because it's bullying.

It is, but the fact that this shit is being published/posted indicates that some people aren't perceiving it as such or just don't care if they are.

Shee-it. I read that review. It seemed perfectly competant and suitable for the town where it took place and the audience it was aimed at. If you don't know anything about middling-small towns, then all that means is you've stumbled across your own ignorance, not that this review was anything odd or weird.

ppl being entertained by the most mundane things, even off the "all time" comedy films thread

I think the horse is dead, Morbs, you can put the stick down.

saw it move

Ta-da:

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/for-a-professional-midwest-palate-a-first-taste-of-a-dirty-water-dog/?src=tp

She was flummoxed, though, by a bilingual sign on the cart in Arabic and English that said “Halal food.”

“I don’t know what that is,” she said.

The concept was explained.

“I’m Lutheran,” she said, “so that wouldn’t apply to me.”

Ms. Hagerty promised to revisit Mr. Abdelbaky’s cart on her next trip to New York. And she said she was looking forward to dinner at the Times Square location of the Olive Garden on Thursday.

“It will be, shall I say, interesting to see if it’s any different,” she said. “It’s pleasant to dine at the Olive Garden.”

Ok this woman has an awesome sense of humor.

Hell yes.

So now what, a book deal? A food network show? How does this shake out?

I would pay money to have her roast Guy Fieri et al over a slow fire. In her understated way.

i don't get why this is a thing but that kevin hoffman dude is a dick and i am gonna follow this story vaguely in the hope that he gets his comeuppance

yeah he kind of needs to be fired

It made the WSJ.

The highest honor:

http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/HC-GQ603_Hagert_BV_20120312172702.jpg

i don't get why this is a thing but that kevin hoffman dude is a dick and i am gonna follow this story vaguely in the hope that he gets his comeuppance

I completely agree, he was so obnoxious and condescending.

His condescension strikes me a as narcissism of small differences kinda thing, tbh.

What I like about Marilyn: She appears to have managed to sustain a successful career in journalism without either being laid off or getting burned out, something which I gather is really at the heart of alt press's contempt. She also seems like she would be a lot of fun to eat with, provided the food doesn't get in the way.

What I don't like about her: The sense that a meal with her could turn out to be a live reenactment of this. In an article about the News Room (in Mpls.), she referred to some of the clientele as "swishy." Just like everyone else, I only tolerate homophobia in my own grandparents and no one else from their generation.

What I don't like about this thread: "Why is that it's always people from the midwest who seem most intent on making fun of rubes? It's like, dude, you're in Minneapolis." (Oh hey, check out the dateline on that Onion article!)

Also, playing attack dog on all other local media is sort of KH's beat.

(Not defending at all. Just explaining.)

he also seems like she would be a lot of fun to eat with, provided the dining room has a fireplace.

She appears to have managed to sustain a successful career in journalism without either being laid off or getting burned out, something which I gather is really at the heart of alt press's contempt.

??? huh ???

ya when i read that article and contemplated her long, persistent career, it just made me so fucking mad

Here's the thing about that: When you write steadily for 40-plus years, you get good at it.

there's a local writer around here who definitely proves that isn't true. i've read some pretty terrible 40+ year writers

places like Columbus, Ohio where chain establishments filled the year-end best-of lists without fail.

Just FYI, I've lived in Columbus for most of my life, and I don't think that this has ever been true. Maybe it doesn't matter, but it's not accurate.

alt press = little job security and rarely paid well

Marilyn = I get to write about Taco Bell and keep this job for my whole life

(But that may admittedly be projecting my own bad faith from my limited experience with the local alt.)

Xxp http://www.columbusalive.com/content/topic/best-of-columbus/2011.html

ime (worked at an alt-weekly for a long time) there's almost TOO MUCH job security there... people get kind of old in those jobs all of the sudden

lol @ being jealous of someone who reviews the olive garden for a newspaper in north dakota

I'm insanely jealous of people of all shapes, sizes, ages and levels of stupidity.

TROOF

i don't think this is so much about jealousy.

i was talking about eric, or what eric posted, if that's a c/p, i couldn't totally tell

yes i am agreeing with you.

has anyone here eaten at an Olive Garden recently

I thought this was funny when Best Music Writing tweeted the link and said that every year they had to read a lot of music reviews with that kind of flat, affectless prose, but the idea of it becoming a viral and something that some snarky prick would phone up and patronise her about just makes me feel bad about being amused in the first place. Yet again, I find myself hating the internet.

I like the idea of Ernest Hemingway, restaurant critic though.

this conversation covers the response AND the quality of olive garden food pretty well

http://www.theawl.com/2012/03/our-week-with-marilyn

The Venetian Apricot Chicken is just a fascinating idea. It sounds like a name for a high-risk sexual practice more than a viable entrée idea

Macaroni Grill > Maggianos > Chef Boyardee > Olive Garden

this is otm:

To me, the fact that the food is not good—and it's a fact, and that's fine as far as it goes—is less jarring than the actual experience of being at one of these tablecloth-grade macro restaurants. The whole thing is just enough like being in an actual restaurant that the ways in which it deviates from that stand out as especially baffling. The weirdly formalized weirdnesses that we're supposed to take as normal. The rituals that make regulars feel at home—oh good, I was hoping you'd ask if I needed more breadsticks—but that just make outsiders feel weird.