Classic or dud: pissing on your belt

i feel you, aero

"opening gambit" just killed me

guys its true its all true

we have a nozzle we can direct anywhere and a prostate, not that hard to keep it where you want it imo

What's the prostate got to do w/ it?

/tinaturner

nah the sceisseschelffen

they are worse here than in holland. i dont think theyre as deep...

*looks it up* ok pc muscle, it's close by, you know what i mean xp

Oh. No, I thought there was something about the prostate that I didn't know. Something specific, I mean.

I've never seen the shelf in Holland! I guess the advantage there is you might be stoned as fuck and what goes better with weed than the powerful smell of your own rich poop

besides "literally anything," I mean

The Dutch have to make their shelves slightly higher so that your poop sits above sea-level. It's the law.

the continental shelf

stansted hasn`t much going for it at midnight on a thursday but the cooling backsplash of a released turdtle makes up for almost anything

I'm serious about that Dutch law btw. They did recently have a debate about it in parliament, and though the upper chamber held it up, the motion was eventually passed.

true, but a few months later it was blocked in a lower circuit court however

yeah I heard about that - it seems every year it's harder to push stuff through that lower court

the early day motions can be particularly sticky

they all have a parabolic design which causes

what the actual fuck, america

love/hate this thread

new (ish, since February) flatmate has caused much bafflement chez sktsh with his terrible aim and mystifying insistence on always putting down both lids, which - coupled with the fact that he either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to clean it - means you basically have to hope that there's not a hidden puddle of urine on the porcelain when you lift the lid to go next. (There usually is.) You can always tell when he's been because a) the top lid is down; and b) there's a little puddle of piss on the floor in front of the toilet

is your flatmate 5?

i know rite

(he's 29 I think)

i told a doctor friend about this in the pub and he looked very serious and said "perhaps he's got dual streams"

piercing?

the thing that makes the fragrant platform so insulting is that, normally, if your gaze happens upon the water-filled bowl as it's carrying your shit away, no big. but every time you forget to shield your eyes when you flush the shelf toilet, which you will do, because the flushing mechanism is often a button on top of the tank, you will be greeted by a very 3-D demonstration of the specific heft of your payload. the water will rush out from behind it, and the whole mound will be carried, Marshall Will & Holly on a raft style, by this flush-wave down into the lower hole. it will leave streaks. these, too, will be washed away like tears in rain. time to die.

― a full circle lol (J0hn D.), Tuesday, October 13, 2009 8:31 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bravo!

xp hadn't occurred but i fucking bet that's what it is. what's the best way to surreptitiously find out? magnets?

mystifying insistence on always putting down both lids

why is this mystifying?

oh no sorry, badly worded: mystifying in the context of pissing underneath it first.

in other circumstances i'd heartily approve

We got a new toilet, which has a long and shallow bowl and while it's not a shit shelf toilet, let's just say I think about this thread and JD's post a lot.

xp hadn't occurred but i fucking bet that's what it is. what's the best way to surreptitiously find out? magnets?

― sktsh, Tuesday

pissin magnets, how do they work

Michael Lewis's Vanity Fair essay relating a German fascination with scheisse to the European economic crisis merits a mention.

Right after I started to piss, the lower panel of my top coat, which I thought I had positioned safely to the side, fell back into place in front of me. Most of the stream was deflected onto the floor, but some splashed back onto my trousers too.

#safespace

the cheap toilet seat in my apartment has this horrible habit of occasionally drifting down while i'm in the act and the result is, when the stars align and i'm the right mix of sleepy or otherwise reaction-time-inhibited, just really awful.

what is my life

oh yeah, we've got a "soft-closing" toilet seat or somesuch and you really have to keep your eye on that fucker or it might start drifting down mid-stream.

"european bathroom series"

I will piss on my belt, video it and post to ilx to create the positive energy required here

Watching anvil the story of anvil