Chicago MMXII

Yeah well I don't trust that the most recent attorney to offend me with this saying is smart enough to think about it that way.

tbrr I just don't like attorneys.

Well it's probably not something anyone thinks out when writing it, anymore than other figures of speech.

i just got a filling and now i am at work feeling v sedated

The worst lawyer vocal tic is saying "strike that" when they mean "ignore what I just said" or "nevermind that was wrong."

Opposing counsel in our of our cases has a typo in his letterhead. The name university where he teaches/practices is misspelled.

Sorry about the filling, A. I hope you have something nice planned for yourself later. xoxo

LL, did you get nitrous?

I've never heard "another bite at the apple," either.

But John....

Why would YOU have heard that phrase?

i haven't been to a dentist that even offers nitrous since the 90s :(

Oh. I was just wondering what had you sedated.

xxxanaxxx

I'm probably down on lawyers today especially because a lawyer who uses a power chair ran into me this morning as I was coming out if the bathroom (my ears are still effed up and I couldn't hear him coming). Then he huffed and rolled his eyes at me! I think the impetus is on the person going 15 mph inside to be on the lookout, personally. (I told him to slow down and watch where he is going, but he was already rolling away when I said it and I have no idea how loud I'm talking so he probably didn't hear me.)

"I'm going to sue your ass off...I know a good lawyer!" probably wouldn't have gone over too well.

Oh, when you told me about that earlier I thought HE said that to YOU. More interesting that way, really.

No, I got angry and impotently croaked at him while he was all "Eat my dust!" vrooooom

Nick, have you watched this video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUG9qYTJMsI

I got my first shipment today - 1 handle and 4 cartridges of 4-bladers for $6/month including shipping - and they seem good so far. The handle has a nice heft to it and the blades are as good as Gillette Mach 3 or whatever.

(I KNOW, I KNOW: Safety razors are magical and cheap, but:
1. They do not suit my style of shaving: wicked fast, no mirror, any and every direction.
2. Even when on my numerous Saturday afternoon slow, careful, mindful shaves, they still gave me razor burn and nicks even though
3. I bought a well-regarded, not-inexpensive one

Believe me, I know safety razors can be great for some people, and if they had worked out for me, I would proselytize all over the place about it.)

1. They do not suit my style of shaving: wicked fast, no mirror, any and every direction.

I thought I was the only one!

Ok. This is the first time I have heard of "safety razors." I have previously known them as "razors" and used "straight razors" as a retronym. I know, I know, how would I know, etc.

Also assuming I'm understanding this correctly, safety razors are not cheap.

Straight razor: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/195/str8razor.jpg/

Safety razor: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/27/safetyrazor.jpg/

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/580/hellrazor.jpg/

asd;lfkjadsfk;lj GRRR

Pictures otm

SAFETY RAZOR: http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/4654/safetyrazor.jpg

STRAIGHT RZZR: http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/1152/str8razor.jpg

http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/8929/hellrazor.jpg

that took me a VERY LONG TIME

and it still sucks

Anyway, yes, jvc, I slash at my face with abandon. If I have a razor that is agreeable, I don't get nicked and I don't get razor burn. I have been using Walgreens brand single-blade disposable razors while waiting for my Dollar Shave Club order and those were very harsh. (I had to wait 2 months - a couple days after I placed my order they sent me an email saying that they were sorry but that that YT promo was more effective than they expected).

OK, I guess I still don't know what a safety razor is -- those look weird. I use a Mach 3.

shave

I slash at my face with abandon.

This explains how you manage to cut your nose and ears so often while shaving.

jaymc, think of it this way. A straight razor is one straight blade and it's really easy to cut/kill yourself while using it. So in the late 1800s, some enterprising dude developed a safety razor, designed to be safer than the straight blade, that enclosed the blade. This was the first razor shaped like what we think of when we think of a shaving razor. The first pic Jesse posted is a straight razor, the second is a safety razor.

What most people use these days are known as cartridge razors - they are either fully disposable, or the cartridge that houses the blades (what are they up to know? Like seven?) is disposable and you keep the handle.

I don't know why I know this much about god damn razors.

I knew about straight razors; I just didn't know the particular name for what I have for most of my life just called a razor. So a cartridge razor is a type of safety razor then? That would perhaps account for why Jesse's photo of a safety razor looks like a medical device.

Sorry I am being annoying about this, btw. I was mostly bored last night (and waiting for Kr to Draw Something) when I piped up.

I use a safety razor because the blades last a long time.

Next time you come over, John, you can see our safety razor in person.

The faces that men make in the mirror while shaving their faces are something I would like for someone to capture in a photoessay. Not famous men, just regular men.
Like, do some men actually make this face while shaving?
http://goodmenproject.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/shaving.jpg

No one ever makes that face.

I sometimes stretch out my cheek muscles in such a way that makes my mouth exaggeratedly downturned.

jaymc, think of it this way. A straight razor is one straight blade and it's really easy to cut/kill yourself while using it. So in the late 1800s, some enterprising dude developed a safety razor, designed to be safer than the straight blade, that enclosed the blade. This was the first razor shaped like what we think of when we think of a shaving razor.

And shaving enthusiast blogs (no joke) point out that the term "safety" was used to promote a more foolproof product that would increase profits for Big Shaving by introducing the first disposable blades.

This explains how you manage to cut your nose and ears so often while shaving

Plus I shave my ears...
#oldmanhairs

Hey do you all want to know the epilogue to my ear ailment saga? Great! I went to an ENT yesterday and I've got a hole in my left eardrum and lots of fluid trapped behind swelling in both of my ears, so I'm temporarily deaf as hell, but it's probably not infected anymore at least. They gave me a steroid to stop the swelling and I can already feel it working, I think. The hole should heal okay and I'll be able to hear again.

Did you know... an ENT can look in your ears with a microscope? An ear microscope that they stick right into your ear! CRAZY.

safety razor = removable razor blade, handle, blade set perpendicularly to handle

congrats on yr eardrum hole, carl

i just use an electric razor

i hope those steroids don't make you feel crazy, carl! also congrats on the eardrum hole heal.

I totally make faces to make shaving easier. That is, when I shaved regularly.

I wore purple shorts today so if the steroids make me go crazy, I'll be dressed appropriately.

(it's just a medrol dosepak. limited dosage, limited time, and I'm not bipolar (prednisone can precipitate manic episodes in people with bipolar disorder (but this isn't prednisone, either)) so we're all good.)

Nick, I am shocked that you use only an electric razor.

why? i'm not a very hairy person and also i JUST DON'T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Shaving has actually been on my mind a lot in 2012. After I shaved my beard early in the year, I bought this fancy expensive Italian shaving cream at Merz Apothecary. I really liked it and found that it gave me a closer shave, but then I got really into trying to get my shave as close as possible, and in the process I think I did more damage than good in the form of cuts and razor burn. Eventually I realized that some parts of my face/neck are just never going to be super-smooth, and it's dumb to try to get the other parts that way, because then it looks uneven. The end.