The simple joy of stupid spam names

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from the cheap humour dept: "time to grow that schlong" received this morning from one aaron r. cox

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 31 March 2003 12:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

Shawnece Nicesnatch" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
To: gygax0r@y@h00.c0m
Subject: Oh no, I lost my panties again - Finger me please?

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Las Vegas A Bit Overly Expensive?" asks Malich Bringman of Khuu Jecmenek. I don't expect Khuu to reply - he's such a stickler for grammar.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 06:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm going to keep this going until the end of the war.

Breach Mcredmond gives Elliston Deibert the cable filter info he requested and I somehow get in the way.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 06:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

Brooke P. Stevens wants me to reduce body fat and build muscle.
Georgia Spears is offering me software to copy my DVDs
Larisa Coleman is offering me cheap generic viagra
Giselle Chisholm sez "Get into that summer look"
Samara Papp offers me to "return to my youth"
Gail Guevara will remove the obstacles that cause adults to abandon hope and sell me bogus university degrees and fake academic transcripts
Ramiro Randolph knows why his son stays out on weekends

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 07:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

One more... Tony (real last name unknown) just emailed me to let me know that I can purchase secret documents proving that aliens have been visiting the earth and have a secret Antarctic base.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 07:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm gonna change my name to Aaron R. Cox!

Today, Hank Deselm wrote to ask "What's Up?" and to see if I wanted to visit his webpage. Nice of him!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 14:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Barton Luckenbach offered to help me with guaranteed dating. Indeed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 15:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

Mostowy Deaderick is a wonderful name, in a way I'm glad I'm already married or else I would just wait around until the day I met a Mostowy Deaderick.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

But if you took the name Nicole Deaderick your initials would be N.D.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 15:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Hung Diggs"

I am going to the town hall and changing my name to this right after work today.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 15:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ned, you had to go there, didn't you? Talk about ruining my fantasies of perfect happiness!

You are definitely not worthy of the name Mostowy.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 15:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Today (yes, I am picking just the best of many in my spambin):

Autumn Minetola
Pansy Pearl
Gay Cross
Wang Gory
Perdy Mutia
Fred Wicaclya
Lacher Pulse
Funck Crayford (twice)

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 16:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

You are definitely not worthy of the name Mostowy.

*weeps tears of shame*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yahoo mail is SO STUPID. I get mail in my regular inbox from "dzqelky qmzoikl" and I get "dartmouth admissions office" in my BULK MAIL, which i usually delete without reading! (they didn't send an admission, just said when the mail goes out. but stupid, stupid yahoo.)

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 3 April 2003 01:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

"the mario bros."

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 3 April 2003 01:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

Michael Jones, you've got me hooked!

Kneisley Butkiewicz
Whelton Petzel
Mccuistion Trojak

― Paul Eater (eater), Thursday, 3 April 2003 04:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

Some of yours are outstanding, Paul. I don't seem to get the ones that would look good on a paperback cover - Gay Cross and Pansy Pearl f'instance.

Today, while I slept, Jarva Charvat and Kilpatrick Eagy were keen for me to lose weight - while I slept.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 3 April 2003 06:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

I can lose weight and, yet, *gain muscle* while I sleep if I heed the advice of Amabile Boggi and Ruhland Reisser.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 3 April 2003 11:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Five years at college were clearly wasted when Flumerfelt Scammon and Callez Eatherly could simply have sent me a University diploma (even a PhD!).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 4 April 2003 08:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

Flumerfelt! Now that's poetry.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

a.Ann mucaumyl
Oretha Ficken
janellanel
jenny lips
andres marks
Trinity Neurohr
Bob Agatha
gary nixon
pearl caldwell
Mr. Pencil
carroll hurst
Tyra Applemans

― rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 4 April 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Okay, who also got the spam from "Saddam Hussan 1"? From "voila.fr" and in an adorable French accent.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Friday, 4 April 2003 14:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Preskitt Lawson and Amoroso Laible are also wise to the idea that Uni degrees are worth the paper they're written on, but no more than that.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 4 April 2003 15:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

Demetria Ouellette is trying to sell me viagra
Prosko Lenn thinks i shd have my own internet casino

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 4 April 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

Does anyone notice spam subject titles getting increasingly dada? Anna Skaggs (!!) just offered me some prescription-free Xanax using the header "iruit butt".

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 4 April 2003 16:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Does anyone notice spam subject titles getting increasingly dada?

Or just bounced through Babelfish: "To acceptably uphold septic tanks" - Nobel Mani and Seed Watton.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Saturday, 5 April 2003 06:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

Another bleedin' University diploma offer: Gatewood Heising and Northam Waychoff.

Another bleedin' weight loss solution: Eclarinal Fitzgerrel and Jared Barkdull.

Another bleedin' University diploma offer: Corrow Mcmenamy* and Pipkin Levanger.

(* - email address: Latourrette@email.com)

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Sunday, 6 April 2003 11:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Michael what have you done that yr spam names are so *consistently* better than anyone else's?!!?

the four i've posted are WAY the bst i've had and none of them match yr most mediocre?

are you sure this is not some oulipian faux-spam prank of the nipper's?

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 6 April 2003 12:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

Chittam Burkle has some great advice on how to perfectly preserve septic tanks (034)
Weuve Hosek knows how to twofold my chest size rapidly (7V)
Nakamatsu Pink has Grand university degree proposition for everybody! (giwpv)
Vejar Salvatore wonders how a career with more capital sounds (44c46Ur4)

These all got through my Yahoo mail filters in the last 24 hours. I don't know what thost codes in brackets signify.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 6 April 2003 12:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

why would anyone *want* to perfectly preserve a septic tank?

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 6 April 2003 12:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, mark s.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 6 April 2003 13:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

I couldn't tell what she was selling from the header (probably Herbalife), and I didn't want to open the e-mail, but I tell you that I was this close to buying anything from someone named "Lavonia Sugar".

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 6 April 2003 15:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

(Then again, given the Tennessee Williams nature of her name, maybe not anything.)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 6 April 2003 15:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

I got one from Erik B entitled "Welcome Home Sweety E"

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 6 April 2003 17:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

Subject: "Lets be friends!" From: "secret_asshole"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 6 April 2003 17:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

Michael what have you done that yr spam names are so *consistently* better than anyone else's?!!?

I can only suspect that this scattergun spamming actually has a highly polished seed of Market Research at its core; I'm getting all the good ones (I'm not sure that's true, actually - Lara, Rosemary, Paul and Nick have some smack-faced nuggets) because They know I have some small facility for this myself and I get a bang out of it.

And I need a septic tank and an MSc.

No mail today :(

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 7 April 2003 09:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

Staunton Attal and Cerce Rosson are the latest pair to absolutely insist that I wake up lighter.

Delilah Minus and Mehan Salotti are offering me $310 of chips at their online casino.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 07:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think mine are getting up to speed w.yrs Mike: Tabatha Daughdrill and Cassara Goehring

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 13:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

Braulio Kubly needs to chat with me about my septic tank.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 13:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

Mahalia Luana wants to adress my refinancing needs.
OneBigOne promises "Superior Penile Shaftosis".

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 18:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yes, Mark, the distribution of ludicrousity is beginning to settle down. The only new ones in the last 24 hours are the fairly uninspired So Linne and Gifford Harelson ("Obtain the qualification without wasting the funds").

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 11:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

A Catherine Redmond has told me quite boldly:

Subject: I can wait to see you at work again.

Well then.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 19:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

At least Catherine sounds quite pleasant, and moderately intriguing (even).

On the other hand, OpJXu1@yahoo.com tells me I should no longer be embarrassed by visits to the doctor (for some unknown reason)

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 19:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dr. Wang Chinly

(i am not making this up)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 19:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

I would be embarrassed to see Dr Wang Chinly, obv.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 19:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Perhaps my last contribution to this thread, as I did suggest I would stop once we'd got out of the habit of bunkerbusting suburban restaurants and shelling journalists, and I *think* that bit's over, so:

Tynio Kromer and Veteto Panis

...with some diet thing or other.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 10 April 2003 08:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

Not ludicrous names, but when expecting an email from my cousin Pam yesterday, I got a porn spam from a Pam (no more than that), then again yesterday I got one from someone with a forename identical to an old friend, and a surname with just one added, silent letter - also porn. And just now, another porn one from 'Anna', sadly not our Ms F. These people are at least making me look at the email.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Woodrow Baez

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 14 April 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

That Catherine Redmond is pretty good at thinly veiled insults!

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 14 April 2003 15:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

Skipping 289 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

dying at these

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 1 September 2015 21:04 (eight years ago) link

six months pass...

just received an urgent email about an unpaid invoice from Karla Winstanley

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 1 March 2016 13:05 (eight years ago) link

Chad Bogan

― François Pitchforkian (NickB), Thursday, 10 March 2016 10:46 (eight years ago) link

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 10 March 2016 19:20 (eight years ago) link

two years pass...

Brit Method

― i'm surprised to see your screwface at the door (NickB), Tuesday, 1 May 2018 08:55 (six years ago) link

three months pass...

Sergeant. Alvina Snelson.

― incarcerated moonfaces (how's life), Friday, 24 August 2018 15:14 (five years ago) link

Dicky Scarwin

― incarcerated moonfaces (how's life), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 12:51 (five years ago) link

The greatest spam email I've ever received:

From: steveng [mailto:steveng @ 14zero.pl]
Subject: Hi there steveng
Elvet Bridge is now largely pedestrianised. June 3, 1894, p. I cannot betray that trust.

Notes:

I am also a Steven G, but not @14zero.pl
Elvet Bridge exists, and in fact has been largely pedestrianised
I can't find anything of interest that happened on June 3, 1894
What does the ", p." bit mean?
By posting this, I've probably betrayed that trust

― Hideous Lump, Thursday, 30 August 2018 03:30 (five years ago) link

B. Drinicky Bangg

― mick signals, Friday, 31 August 2018 18:52 (five years ago) link

Ethel Barnes
Your personal curator

― I'd Rather Kecak (NickB), Wednesday, 5 September 2018 08:41 (five years ago) link

Mrs. Gezerias Bell

― Neil S, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 10:34 (five years ago) link

Sharon Fencil

― Neil S, Tuesday, 11 September 2018 09:05 (five years ago) link

Smarta Femming

― mick signals, Thursday, 20 September 2018 17:35 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Mandalina Hataway

― mick signals, Wednesday, 31 October 2018 14:57 (five years ago) link

Billy Oceak

― mick signals, Wednesday, 7 November 2018 19:34 (five years ago) link

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