The Mormons

i guess this would be the right place for this...
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/07/10/cat-buried-in-cement-sent-as-warning-from-polygamist-church2/

what i found *most* shocking is this has happened before and the authorities couldn't be bothered to look into it?!

So my brother-in-law, who went on a mission to Minneapolis, was telling me they market a special "missionary friendly" bike called THE LIAHONA:

http://www.themissionarydepot.com/shop/bicycles/liahona-missionary-bike-package-1-liahona-27-speed-bike-with-disc-brake/

He loved that it was called the Liahona because he could make jokes all the time whenever they got lost – "Sorry I couldn't get it to go the right direction."

Mpls has a rep as a bike friendly town but his mission president made them wear full suits in the summer on their bikes, which has to be hell no matter how nice your bike paths are. He admitted the first ten days on bike in suits were a painful challenge to adjust to.

He also served in Prince's area – I was like 'omg did you knock on the door of Prince's mansion." He said no, but that one of Prince's neighbors was an inactive member (meaning her name was on the records but she quite participating), so they visited her a lot to cajole her to attend church. She said one day that Prince had visited HER door as a JW missionary, and she went head-to-head with him on Bible precepts for two hours.

!!!!

dunno if this ever got posted here: extreme mormons. (full segment on the subject of mormon movies here.)

http://www.themissionarydepot.com/shop/microfiber/microfiber-tie-style-40/
"Microfiber ties are a blend of polyester and polyamide and they are durable as well as stain resistant. Just what every Missionary needs. - See more at: http://www.themissionarydepot.com/shop/microfiber/microfiber-tie-style-40/#sthash.YbfDK7fj.dpuf";

not a bad tie for $8!

This may sound flip, but it is really, really not: nothing prepared me for North Korea so much as having lived in Utah.

OK I should amend that to say that visiting the Kims Il Sung and Jong Il would have been a lot more strange had it not been for my years of Mormon proximity.

er they were lying in state. never hung with them personally. that really would have been something.

quincie, can you explicate?

Yeah I'm sorry, that was not well put. Mormonism is not a repressive communist dictatorship! I should have been a better job saying what I mean.

What I mainly mean is:
1) visiting the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, where the first two Kims lie in state, had a lot of similarities to visiting the Temple in SLC. Which I didn't get to visit, obv, because I am a non-Mormon! But I have gone to multiple temple visitors centers, and my parents and I talked a lot about their visit to a per-commissioned (<<<not proper terminology, I think) temple; they toured the whole thing before it was officially a Temple open only to Mormons in good standing. Anyhow, the whole thing--from the architecture to the interior and exterior decor to the artwork hanging inside to the formal and reverent atmosphere to the "OMG what the hell is this" attitude of outsiders (i.e., us)--the only touchpoint I had was my experience with the Mormon church as a non-Mormon in Orem, Utah.

OK and 2) the isolation/insulation from outside culture. This was so huge, bigger than I even expected, in North Korea. Obviously, mainstream Mormons are not in anywhere near the same situation. But I lived in small-town Utah before the internet, and the situation was. . . a little bit similar in some ways. I'm sure it is different now. But the norms of "outside" were not well-integrated into small-town Mormon Utah in the mid-80s. And, as of five or seven years ago, very much not integrated into FLDS communities such as Colorado City, AZ. That was the place in the U.S. that most closely resembled NK ime.

Ha, I srsly predicted you were going to say NK people were really into storing grain.

Which you didn't; my prediction was wrong.

xxpost hahah no, I don't think they have the luxury of storing much anything. But living in Utah had a PROFOUND affect on my parents' food-buying, which continues TO THIS DAY. Actually, I'm visiting them now and was just directed to the "food storage" pantry they have in their garage. They go into that stuff waaaaaaay before the advent of Costco, etc, why b/c Utah!

Did I make any sense there? I really don't feel superior or dismissive about either Mormonism or NK! Just not communicating very well, because both experiences were really whoa.

nope, that makes a lot of sense.

Oh you made total sense and you never came off as dismissive about either! I was just curious!

There are million reasons why I would love to go to NK with you, Crabbits, but your Mormon background would just make it soooooo o_O I just know it! Juche philosophy may seem pretty distant from Mormonism, but the cultural values have a lot of similarities. In a lot of good ways, and some. . . not so good (see: insularity, anti-feminism, etc.)

Plus someone who was fucked up on drugs grabbed me by the arm the other night and insisted that I agree with her that I AM KOREAN. It's a sign!

I imagine that North Korea is srsly the Last Frontier for Mormon missionaries! Holy shit I don't even know how that would go down; not well, I suspect.

They are so dying to get there because there's a prophecy that says the second coming of Christ won't happen until missionaries can teach in every part of the world.

I think they could really give a fuck about the North Koreans .

Well I mean I think it would be more helpful for Mormons rather than Rodman to get in with Kim Jong Un.

So this is an interesting question (which I shall google): Where *aren't* Mormon missionaries?

Vatican City?

Countries where LDS Church missionaries have not preached

I could have sworn I saw Mormon missionaries (they are easy to ID) in Shanghai, but maybe I am blurring that with Taiwan memories.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/11/us/its-official-mormon-founder-had-up-to-40-wives.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=second-column-region®ion=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

The essay on “plural marriage” in the early days of the Mormon movement in Ohio and Illinois says polygamy was commanded by God, revealed to Smith and accepted by him and his followers only very reluctantly.

hahahaha

"wait, what? you want me to have sex with all the womens? well, gee, I don't know... you're the boss I guess"

This is from Doctrine and Covenants.. basically the 'bitch be cool about polygamy' passage imo

51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to prove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.

52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, receive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.

53 For I am the Lord thy God, and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been faithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.

54 And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.

55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an hundred-fold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds.

56 And again, verily I say, let mine handmaid forgive my servant Joseph his trespasses; and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses, wherein she has trespassed against me; and I, the Lord thy God, will bless her, and multiply her, and make her heart to rejoice.

http://mic.com/articles/104096/there-s-a-suicide-epidemic-in-utah-and-one-neuroscientist-thinks-he-knows-why

oh ffs

To those who analyze violent death data, it's known as the "suicide belt."

ime using a belt for suicide is setting yourself up for failure
do better, rocky mountain west

it's clickbait garbage science. any remotely responsible hypothesis-making in this direction has huge sampling issues unless you can somehow get this kind of data for basically the entire world. idk how blind you have to be to think 'altitude' before 'shared culture' as an indicator for suicide rates in the u.s.

meanwhile return missionary roommate can't stop yammering on about the church. i forget that this is such an issue for these poor souls who leave the flock, i know because i was one, but i just want them to get over it sooner for the good of themselves and everyone else. i get really annoyed these days by "ex-mormons", they are the worst and can't discuss anything except how much they fucking love science or w/e.

i'm bored and frustrated, time to find something to do.

listen to techno imo

man if i lived somewhere i could hear a decent set on the weekends

but i mean, good idea.

Feds fine Mormon church for illicitly hiding $32 billion investment fund behind shell companies
https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/mormon-church-multibillion-investment-fund-sec-settlement-rcna71603