What advice would you give someone who cannot find the motivation to do anything - even things they know they enjoy - because they're too far gone down the line of "What's the point" or "I'm irrationally averse to doing it"?
― Remember you can talk to me any time, asshole (dog latin), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 08:51 (eleven years ago) link
is it really harsh and unhelpful to think that nobody else can answer those questions for you, or even really suggest a route thru? whatever enlightenment (nb not Enlightenment) we achieve is only coming thru ourselves i think
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:02 (eleven years ago) link
i never feel closer to the answers than when i realise i'm asking the wrong questions
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:03 (eleven years ago) link
Someone else can open a door for you (often without even being aware they're doing it) but only a person themselves can choose to step through it.
― my god it's full of straw (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:03 (eleven years ago) link
yeah i mean i think u can take cues, ideas, mantras from other people but the whoness of you? the point - tho i don't like that word either - is internal only if it is a thing
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:07 (eleven years ago) link
internal only, if it is a thing at all
is what i meant
have/had to lose all notions of "failing" before i cd get past it i think. likewise everything else that's unsatisfactory
i can reconcile this with still having swathes of sadness
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:10 (eleven years ago) link
caveat that i still believe there's a bunch of Maslow-y stuff that needs to happen first
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:11 (eleven years ago) link
I think counselling, therapy, self-help books, religion even, can be hugely helpful - more than just cues or mantras - depending on the person of course, and yes of course they have to want that change. maybe even the 'whoness' of you, who seems somewhat resistant to that idea (if i am reading you right) is less permanent than you think. but just to speak from my own experience, cbt didn't completely change who i am but it did stop me from lying in bed all day every day wanting to die.
― ledge, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:26 (eleven years ago) link
i don't really believe in a permanent "me" but it's necessary to think/speak like that sometimes? yeah there are a bunch of ideas - therapies included - that can make us less ill. none of them can imbue purpose afaik
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:28 (eleven years ago) link
i'd probably include those things that make us "well" in the "Maslow-y stuff" category - one needs a certain level of wellness or self-cohesion or whatever the hell it is before one can proceed to notions of fulfilment? but also probably a lot of therapeutic interventions are doomed to fail because the underlying problems are the existential ones they're not equipped to address. getting some kind of brain chemistry balance is probably necessary but a long long way from an answer
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:31 (eleven years ago) link
you could train a chimp to get up and go to a job every day but you couldn't train it to want those things
― just one little Tayto (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:33 (eleven years ago) link
well i haven't completely escaped the existential problems, far from it. but one thing i got from counselling is that purpose, motivation, whatever, is far more *external* than i realised. which fits in with wcc's post upthread about doing something that connects with yr values and with other people.
― ledge, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 09:40 (eleven years ago) link
Not being glib, but speaking from experience with that feeling - therapy and possibly anti-depressants.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 12:30 (eleven years ago) link
ironically, that stuff works because it helps you feel more apathetic to killing yourself
― Nhex, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 13:04 (eleven years ago) link
Anti-depressants make me nauseous or have other unwanted side effects, and have no effect on my mood even after using them for months. Therapy only made things worse.
― Lee626, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 15:06 (eleven years ago) link
You should definitely not do either of those things then.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 15:13 (eleven years ago) link
bored of everything right now
still keeping healthy though
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 26 July 2016 18:26 (seven years ago) link
so stoked to graduate from depression thread to this one
― sarahell, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 04:47 (seven years ago) link
any bottle of port in a storm
― Guangchang, thank you man (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 08:12 (seven years ago) link
I feel more despair than boredom really, listening to people talking of the benefits of overseas tourism on the radio is making me feel sad. Probably sounds like self-pity, but my holidaying days are on hold for now. Some globetrotting artist once said a bored person will be bored anywhere, smug fucker!
― calzino, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 08:29 (seven years ago) link
feel you dude, i'd settle for a day in Brid at the moment but train tickets are not cheap
― tumtum mahout (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 08:44 (seven years ago) link
I actually applied to the family trust fund this year for something like that, but no answer yet. But if they deliver then I'm luckier than a lot of people.
― calzino, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 08:50 (seven years ago) link
fingers crossed bud
― tumtum mahout (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 09:04 (seven years ago) link
yes, fingers crossed
I recently booked tickets for a family event and and all the various legs of transport and accommodation were so expensive and so much hassle to organise (plus coordinating with other people, begging for and then having to rearrange days off work, etc) and then I thought "apparently some people book flights and hotels every year in places they don't even know anything about, for fun??"
I am lucky tho in that I guess the hassle is a bigger deterrent than the cost but the cost is p shocking too
― a passing spacecadet, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 09:09 (seven years ago) link
i never go anywhere but i don't really care
― sarahell, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 16:03 (seven years ago) link
Some globetrotting artist once said a bored person will be bored anywhere, smug fucker!
― calzino, Wednesday, July 27, 2016 9:29 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
ya this isnt true for me
i guess maybe for some people it could be
but im definitely happier in certain cities
i think the reason you get bored is the difference
if you just feel bored because you dont do anything for whatever reason then i can see that artist being right
not my case though
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 17:07 (seven years ago) link
boredom/apathy/lacko'fulfillment stuff always seems to strike me worst in the summer. It's like a reverse SAD.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:00 (seven years ago) link
boring stuff is cool.. http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703395904576025482554838642
For seven hours on that Saturday, 20 speakers held forth on a range of seemingly dreary diversions, from "The Intangible Beauty of Car Park Roofs" and "Personal Reflections on the English Breakfast," to "The Draw in Test Match Cricket" and "My Relationship With Bus Routes."
― brimstead, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:08 (seven years ago) link
boring stuff is cool..my wife disagrees
― ælərdaɪs (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:29 (seven years ago) link
i don't really do boredom. apathy and lack of fulfilment however.
― tumtum mahout (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:41 (seven years ago) link
yeah, same. but I do apathy and lack of fulfillment exceptionally well
― sarahell, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:43 (seven years ago) link
i suspect ILX has got a pretty 1337 cadre of people with these skills
― tumtum mahout (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:45 (seven years ago) link
we could create a poll, but i kinda don't care
― sarahell, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:47 (seven years ago) link
what is the difference between boredom and apathy? is apathy just general boredom at nothing in particular? while boredome is directed at a particular thing/'interest'/hobby?
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:49 (seven years ago) link
I can be apathetic - generally disinterested in doing things - without being bored, i.e. i can sit around the living room gazing out the window at people walking/cycling by while not necessarily feeling that my lack of activity is tedious.
― ælərdaɪs (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:52 (seven years ago) link
Yeah i love my apathy time tbh
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 21:35 (seven years ago) link