The new rolling ILX parenting thread, since the other one was getting unwieldy

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i wonder what they do?

Let'em cry for a bit. Trust me, it doesn't harm the baby. I mean, not if you let'em cry for hours. But they make sure that right after a feed, they usually put'em in the crib and if they cry, it usually stops after a few minutes. That's what I notice in the daycare when I pass the baby section: they don't RUN to the baby when s/he cries. Instinctively I would go for the baby when I pass it by but now I notice that it's actually alright. :-)

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 06:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Vicky, I am pretty sure that Meg's right & mothercare do 1-tog sleeping bags. I was wondering whether to get one for a July baby but am not sure whether to wait & see how sheets/blankets do. Finally started buying baby clothes and sorting out the nursery at the weekend, which makes it all seem frighteningly close.

― liz, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 08:57 (seventeen years ago) link

I wish I had used sleeping bags right from the start. But then I didn't realize OPhelia would be so anti-swaddling.

― nathalie, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 09:53 (seventeen years ago) link

nath, i kind of fear the 'let them cry it out' strategy, mostly because im afraid she'll go from crying to hysteria. Does/did anyone here use this method with their kids?

me and little miss hold-me-or-ill-cry! :

http://img375.imageshack.us/img375/115/bandmenn6.jpg

― sunny successor, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:26 (seventeen years ago) link

also: beeps had her first school picture day today. so cute!

― sunny successor, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Today we drove to Norwich for Howie to meet his Nanny for the first time. He slept like a log for two hours there and two hours back - and was an angel in between. Which goes to prove Beth's point!

The crying it out method is definitely not for me (though I do know some people swear by it), but I have started to learn to distinguish between a cry that means "Wah! I'm about to fall asleep but not sure how...zzzzzzzzzzzz" and "Wah! I need my mum" - and let him get through the former without rushing in and waking him up trying to help.

― Meg Busset, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

We were all set to let them CIO last night if they woke up before 5am. So, of course, they woke up at 5:05...

― schwantz, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 20:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Schwantz, have you got a big enough bed to co-sleep? We often bring H into bed with us if he wakes around 5 and won't settle, and it works wonders in getting him through til a reasonable hour (ie 7 or later).

― Meg Busset, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Once we feed them, we can put them back to bed and they'll sleep for another couple hours. We're just trying to get to the next step, where they will sleep until 7 or so, without needing to eat. Owen did it for a while, but now they both seem to want to get up at 5.

It's another case of "if it was just ONE baby..." If it was just one, sleeping until 5 would be no big deal at all - my wife could feed him, and go back to bed. With TWO, she has to feed one, then we put him back to bed and grab the other one (who hopefully isn't fully freaking out by then), feed HIM, and then put him back to bed. All-in-all a 30-45 minute deal at 5am. With this scenario, we are trying to rapidly move them toward sleeping all the way until 7.

When you have two babies, crying-it-out just happens. It's unavoidable, especially when my wife is home alone with them. She can't pick them up both at once, so there are plenty of times where one just has to work it out. So far it hasn't seemed to permanently affect their moods, as you can see from the pictures in this thread.

― schwantz, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 20:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Recent shot of Family in NYC

http://vassifer.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/02/museumsubway_2.jpg

― Alex in NYC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 00:02 (seventeen years ago) link

wow! i remember seeing pics of charlotte(?) when i first started looking at ilx. she's grown so much. they're both insanely beautiful children.

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 06:31 (seventeen years ago) link

nath, i kind of fear the 'let them cry it out' strategy, mostly because im afraid she'll go from crying to hysteria. Does/did anyone here use this method with their kids?

I think if you have your first (and single) baby, and especially as a mother, you just can't. I think there's some *gene* that yells at you: "GO TO BABY NOW." :-) Now? Well, I'm more relaxed about it. I don't rush towards O. I know this is because once she hit six months she just seemed *stronger*. I think with a second baby, you're bound to be more *relaxed* and know that a little bit of crying won't harm your child at all. That said, I didn't really have to ferberize (until a couple of weeks ago). I did stick to my guns once she was past chickenpox a few weeks ago: she woke up at four am and decided she wanted to have a good ole cry fest. I went to her, firmly said it was sleepy time and put her on her matras (?). She didn't budge. She got the message. But with babies it's a different story. Also in the beginning you don't really know the difference between moaning, FEED ME crying and just plaintive I wanna go sleep crying. But you quickly learn.

Alex, stop overcuting us all. You know you win every time. Well, everyone does here. :-) Seriously, you guys have all such cuties! And, this is so not done, but I don't care, but at the crèche there are some not so cute babies, so I'm not this crazy mother who considers all babies cute. ;-)

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 06:32 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks, nath. i tried it a little last night but only held out for 5 minutes. beside wanting her to be comforted and happy, just the sound and pitch of the crying can be really upsetting when you're super tired, which we pretty much always are at this point. i might give it another try this afternoon.

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:31 (seventeen years ago) link

i remember seeing pics of charlotte(?) when i first started looking at ilx. she's grown so much. they're both insanely beautiful children.

Yeah, it's funny - I was still thinking of Charlotte as a baby because that's the last time I saw pictures of her posted.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Well, the boys woke up at 4:30, and we tried to let them CIO. By 5:15 Owen was WAILING and sniffling, so we gave in, fed them, and put them back to bed. When I left for work at 7:30 they were still sleeping... We're thinking we'll try and give them their pacifiers next time this happens. It's hard to be harsh with them when they sleep from 6:30pm to 4am...

― schwantz, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:01 (seventeen years ago) link

9 1/2 hours?? im jealous. beeps has only slept that in the miracle blanket. are you using yours?

schwantz, you must buy your babies these!

https://www.pandapark.com/products/wondertwinpowers_full.jpg

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not an expert, but from what I have read about it, 'crying it out' / Ferberising should only be used on older babies (if at all, but that's another debate). Ferber himself recently revised his advice from 6 months to 12 months as the youngest a baby should be before considering this option.

― Meg Busset, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:30 (seventeen years ago) link

We stopped swaddling a few weeks ago. It didn't seem to make that big a difference - maybe swaddling gets them used to sleeping and then you can stop? Where did you find those sweet onesies?

My wife has been a total taskmistress with sleep training them, which I think is the key to our ongoing (semi) sanity. We have a strict routine in the evening, and we get them to bed at the same time every night. A lot of it has got to just be luck, though. That, and the 7 ounce bottles of formula they guzzle down before bed each night!

xpost - Meg - I will bring that up with my wife. However, I don't know if Mr Ferber ever had to deal with twins!

― schwantz, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:36 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.pandapark.com/item/Urban-Smalls-Wonder-Twin-Powers-Activate-Retro-Ringer-Onesies/643/c1

they have some cute stuff there but its kind of expensive.

here i am complaining when reports have just come in that beeps slept 8 hours sans swaddle last night.

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:42 (seventeen years ago) link

we try to get 6OZ into her before bed but she rarely makes it through

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:42 (seventeen years ago) link

How old are your twins, Schwantz?

Sunny: eight hours! That's amazing. The longest H has managed so far is about 5 1/2. Is she formula fed? Apparently they often sleep through sooner than breastfed babes.

Would recommend 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley for lots of useful hints & tips on encouraging good sleep habits without leaving them to cry it out.

― Meg Busset, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 16:47 (seventeen years ago) link

shes a formula baby but, i dont know how she knows at this age, she seems to be able to tell the diff between night and day in that she doesnt sleep in the day for more than 10-15 minutes at a time but is really good at night. she'll hit at least 6 hours most nights, sometimes 8 or 9, but that has been with the miracle blanket. last night is surprising to me because its the first time she slept unswaddled since we left the hospital.

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 17:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I swaddled Spencer for as long as he'd let me, and iirc, that was until about 7 months when there was NOTHING that would stop him from getting one arm free, and if you've ever swaddled a baby, you know that once that first arm is free, you've had it.

I wasn't ever a big advocate of letting him cry it out, and didn't start even really trying it seriously until he was at least 9 months - I got good at figuring out what it was he wanted and so didn't feel that it was ever wholly necessary.

I think you sorta have to figure out what works for you and your baby and do that - people will give you advice until it's coming out your ears, but each baby will do what it's going to do, the end.

― luna, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 20:13 (seventeen years ago) link

re: the wubbanubs posted above; our friends daughter loved hers, and we were really wanting one while ian was going through colic and unconsolable crying; alas, they were out of stock everywhere, going for big money on ebay, and we just never got one. he never wound up taking to pacifiers as a result, and now doesn't need one, thank god.

ferberizing: we did this, basically, at 6 months. it worked. took three weeks though. I think we'd have gone insane if we hadn't. also, moving him out of our bedroom into his own room was key; he actually slept much better in there, I think we're noisy sleepers.

― akm, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 22:22 (seventeen years ago) link

also, that pantley book didn't work for us or anyone we know, but it was psycholigically comforting for us and helped us segue into ferberizing. i hadn't heard he adjusted the age to 12 months; our pediatrician recommended we do it before 9 months; if we'd waited this long we would all be dead, surely.

― akm, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 22:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Another recent one of Charlotte.... looking somewhat Cold War-ish

http://vassifer.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/01/img_5565.jpg

― Alex in NYC, Thursday, 26 April 2007 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Meg - the twins are coming up on 6 months old. I think it's very true that everyone should just follow their instincts a bit with this stuff.

― schwantz, Thursday, 26 April 2007 02:03 (seventeen years ago) link

In keeping with Alex's monochrome theme (and Charlotte is a wonder, btw):

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/200/473255895_9bb5f07827.jpg

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 26 April 2007 06:27 (seventeen years ago) link

shes a formula baby but, i dont know how she knows at this age,

formula is *heavier* whereas breast milk digests much quicker than formula, hence the difference in sleep pattern.

we moved ophelia to her own room at four months: she slept through the night almost immediately (read: second night). i highly recommend it. i did feel a bit guilty but on the other hand it just felt right. guilty because noone i knew had done it at that age and friends/family said: KEEP HER WHILE LONGER. but like i said, it just worked.

― nathalie, Thursday, 26 April 2007 07:59 (seventeen years ago) link

X-post: I agree, all you can do is what seems to work for you and your baby, sleep-wise!

At the moment we don't have another room to move Howie to! Which is going to be an issue pretty soon, I think, 'cause he's rapidly outgrowing his crib (spends half the night bashing his hands against the sides) and it's going to be a pretty tight squeeze trying to get a full-size cot in here. We have been looking at bigger places around here (Enfield) but they are ridiculously expensive (esp. now we're down to one salary) so looks like we might have to relocate up north where we can actually afford a little family home. I guess it's the best time to do it, before H starts making friends at nursery or whatever...

― Meg Busset, Thursday, 26 April 2007 08:46 (seventeen years ago) link

How much do you pay a babysitter?

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 26 April 2007 08:48 (seventeen years ago) link

That looks a bit like I'm just butting in on a conversation, sorry!
But I do really need to know. Thanks!

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 26 April 2007 08:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Meg, at the hospital (the lecture actually, held at the hospital) they suggested either putting the bed in a bathroom or make a *seperate* space (using a screen or sth) in the living room if you don't have a bedroom (yet) for the baby. Any place that is quiet.

Ned, I haven't used one yet. But check if the babysitter wants to be driven (to your home and back to her home). Here it's pretty common to do this.

― nathalie, Thursday, 26 April 2007 10:49 (seventeen years ago) link

They live next door- which is very handy. We haven't used her before, relying on friends up to now, who we didn't pay - it being a kind of reciprocal deal.

I was thinking minimum wage and that would cost £30 (as there are 2 of them) which seems like a lot. But really I have no idea.

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 26 April 2007 10:57 (seventeen years ago) link

Megan will not sleep. She is getting less cuet with every passing ~~walking coma~~ day.

:(

― onimo, Thursday, 26 April 2007 11:15 (seventeen years ago) link

minimum wage? they are teenagers! babysitting! actually i'm out of touch. i only remember getting paid jack sh*t. i didn't care, i found spending my evening reading in a stranger's house just as fun as sitting at home reading. :-)

oh yeah! IMPORTANT question: from what age do you guys *serve* the same food to your kid? i think ophelia's pretty much ready: she wants to eat whatever i'm eating. (this lunch:japanese eel and genmai rice!) but we still give her baby food (pots we buy at the supermarket).

― nathalie, Thursday, 26 April 2007 12:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Megan occasionally eats what we eat, though sometimes it's cooked separately to cut out the salt we'd use in our own. She's been eating bland mushy versions of whatever veg we're having since she started weaning.

― onimo, Thursday, 26 April 2007 12:06 (seventeen years ago) link

two pix of ian, 9.5 months. thanks, professional photographer dude we hired! our camera is shit so these are the nices photos we've ever had of him.

http://jelly.smugmug.com/photos/147173172-L.jpg

http://jelly.smugmug.com/photos/147173757-L.jpg

― akm, Thursday, 26 April 2007 23:48 (seventeen years ago) link

aww! cuetilicious! such beautiful eyes. i cant believe that is how 9.5 months looks. before beeps i would have guessed he was 2 y/o.

― sunny successor, Friday, 27 April 2007 03:19 (seventeen years ago) link

What big eyes etc.

That monochrome shot of Charlotte back a bit rules.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 April 2007 03:21 (seventeen years ago) link

i love the gothic charlotte pix too

― akm, Friday, 27 April 2007 05:36 (seventeen years ago) link

also, ian is kind of huge for his age, so not all 9.5 month olds look that ginormous. he's in 12-18 month clothes; he basically skipped the 9-12 month section all together. kids are freaking expensive.

― akm, Friday, 27 April 2007 05:37 (seventeen years ago) link

oh yeah! IMPORTANT question: from what age do you guys *serve* the same food to your kid? i think ophelia's pretty much ready: she wants to eat whatever i'm eating. (this lunch:japanese eel and genmai rice!) but we still give her baby food (pots we buy at the supermarket).

My niece is nearly three and STILL isn't eating the same as her parents (she is a spoilt brat though, and there are many more things than that which concern me re her extremely slow development - she's a bright kid, but they are trying to keep her a baby forever, I think). I asked my mum about that because I was sure it was wrong, and seems I started eating what my parents were eating at about 6-9 months - my mum was trying to grow me up quickly as soon as she was pregnant with my brother so as she only had one "baby" to deal with :-)

― ailsa, Friday, 27 April 2007 06:21 (seventeen years ago) link

we supplement ian's baby food with things that are like what we're eating (or should be eating anyway). he gets turkey slices and cheese cubes these days a lot, his favorite meal (we don't eat meat ourselves). egg, some fruits, little bits of bread, cheerios, etc. the younger you start them on things with different textures the better, i think, otherwise they might not want to eat anything that isn't pureed.

― akm, Friday, 27 April 2007 06:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Lovely photos of Ian. The range Tallulah skipped was 3-6mo - straight into 6-9mo (Ava's old clothes which I'm sure have shrunk through innumerable wash/dry cycles). She's not 6 months until next Wednesday...

Ava's been eating "adult" food since about 12 months, I think. Though we did relapse into bottled stuff when we were refurbing the house and Pam was going through a bad spell in her 2nd pregnancy.

― Michael Jones, Friday, 27 April 2007 06:42 (seventeen years ago) link

My little brother Charlie (on the right) has a friend!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/172/474508403_c9c95a0482_b.jpg

― caek, Friday, 27 April 2007 13:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Owen petting the kitty:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/211/474182599_3756f1034e.jpg

― schwantz, Sunday, 29 April 2007 17:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Mae's got a new haircut and she is very happy about it.
[Removed Illegal Image]

― Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Try again...
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/175/477346695_80d84bcfb4_m.jpg

― Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:52 (sixteen years ago) link

Ophelia's off the baby food and loves adult food. HURRAH!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/189/475452413_b5f86d592f_m.jpg

― stevienixed, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:23 (sixteen years ago) link

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