I'mma lay your LOLs on the dresser and EXCELSIOR them shits with a spiked bat!

oh man why doesn't she sue the SHIT out of the plastic surgeon who did that boob job

― I can sit in my car all day, and that doesn't make me a car. (HI DERE), Friday, April 24, 2009 7:26 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean, yr breasts shouldn't look like they've been attacked by an ice cream scoop, no matter how old you are

― I can sit in my car all day, and that doesn't make me a car. (HI DERE), Friday, April 24, 2009 7:27 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the 's' is for spelling!

― ~*GAME 2 SNYPA*~ (omar little), Friday, April 24, 2009 7:27 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

kinda looks like a funhouse mirror

― bela fregosi (brownie), Friday, April 24, 2009 7:27 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

show of hands if we're all good on workplace masturbation for now

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, November 1, 2012 11:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

uh i'm using one of mine right now gimme two mins

― pronounced darraghmac (darraghmac), Thursday, November 1, 2012 11:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

open door

Hey dude, shut the door at least, yeah?

Lol

There's a Finnish rock musician who claims to have actually recorded an album in less time than its length. He says every song on it was a first take, and the band played everything non-stop in the studio, but on the album there are a few seconds of silence between the tracks, so the extra length comes from that.

― Tuomas, Friday, November 2, 2012 2:14 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

halloween is literally the only good holiday and everyone across the world should be happy that we are sharing it with you

― iatee, Friday, November 2, 2012 10:29 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd wager that more pedestrians get hit by cars than any other holiday in the year.

― pplains, Friday, November 2, 2012 10:40 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'd wager that one year later, more of the drivers of those cars get mysterious emails that read only "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST HALLOWEEN" than any other holiday in the year

― congratulations (n/a), Friday, November 2, 2012 10:42 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

counting 100+ as "100" gives us ~73 for poll-wanters or ~49 for all voters, the hypotenuse of that triangle is ~88, 88 is neo nazi code for "HH," that is, "heil hitler," whose birthday is 4/20 so the top 420 metal albums should be polled. obviously.

― adam, Friday, November 2, 2012 1:26 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the people have spoken

― adam, Friday, November 2, 2012 1:26 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

EOY Metal Poll's Terrifying New Math

― (⊙_⊙?) (Alan N), Friday, November 2, 2012 1:40 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

evidence of 88 entering the collective subconscious

― aggressian pollkeeper (onimo), Friday, November 2, 2012 1:55 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah. If your fridge isn't empty you might just have to say goodbye to it. At the very least, duct tape it very very very tightly and bring it outside before you attempt cleaning it out.

― Fetchboy, Friday, November 2, 2012 3:53 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

then remove the door so children won't suffocate inside

― Infamous dickbiscuits (silby), Friday, November 2, 2012 3:57 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if you left some children in there you're really fucked.

― wmlynch, Friday, November 2, 2012 3:58 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.famousquotesabout.com/quoteImage/313/wreaths-quotes.jpg

― a worthy pioner! (weatheringdaleson), Tuesday, October 16, 2012 5:31 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"To be or not to be, that is the question whether tis nob" - famousquotes.com

― give me back my 200 dollars (NotEnough), Tuesday, October 16, 2012 5:33 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"alas, poor yorick! I knew him ho"

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, October 16, 2012 6:30 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry. Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape Calum"

― Three Word Username, Tuesday, October 16, 2012 6:34 AM Bookmark

star wars is a cult movie in the same way that mormonism is a cult

― some dude, Saturday, November 3, 2012 3:06 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

widespread, profitable, special underwear

― Infamous dickbiscuits (silby), Saturday, November 3, 2012 3:06 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"The Globe" might be my favorite Clash-related song.

― aloho frodo (how's life), Monday, November 5, 2012 2:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's just sad

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Monday, November 5, 2012 2:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

actually i assume anyone with that opinion is very happy. like "better not be driving" happy.

― da croupier, Monday, November 5, 2012 2:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha

lol otm

Though I will say I was listening to BAD earlier today. Still though come on now.

it's a cry for help, really speaking

I just fuckin' can't stand the Clash. A point I think I've made elsewhere at some point.

point point

if you can't stand The Clash, how can you stand a song done by the dude who sings The Clash's songs that is built off of a mangled sample of one of The Clash's biggest hits? "The Globe" is like pure distilled Clash run through a "massive suckage" filter

you should totally vote in my Clash poll when it comes around in 2032 xpost

I just fuckin' can't stand the Clash. A point I think I've made elsewhere at some point.

― aloho frodo (how's life), Monday, November 5, 2012 3:07 PM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YOU SHOULD SEE MY FACE RIGHT NOW

ILM's seems to be leaking into ILE again. anyone got some chewing gum?

i sure do! why, have a stick of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9UZZ_DbOuM

"Swimming pools are filled with people. Some you know. Some you don’t. And every once in a while you see something that maybe you shouldn’t. That’s why swimming pools are a little like Facebook."

― Bound by Habitrails (J3ff T.), Monday, November 5, 2012 3:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Also, all the urine."

― C-3PO Sharkey (Phil D.), Monday, November 5, 2012 3:29 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also it hurts to open your eyes.

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Monday, November 5, 2012 3:34 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"pools are like facebook: i've been banned from both for reasons of nudity"

― these wilburys taste like wilburys (donna rouge), Monday, November 5, 2012 3:34 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I lost interest in Dusk as soon as I heard the spoken word intro in which Johnson asks rhetorical questions ("Have you ever wanted somebody so badly that you'd whisper moistly in her ear?" or something) that I thought Madonna had decisively answered in "Justify My Love."

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, November 5, 2012 5:42 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no one should do anything moistly in anyone's ear EVER

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, November 5, 2012 5:44 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

keep your laws off my body

― All hail President Optoisolator (jjjusten), Monday, November 5, 2012 5:46 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We vote for Obama. Technocratic neoliberalism is preferable to theocratic neoconservatism, at this early stage before True History begins.

― Banaka™ (banaka), Monday, November 5, 2012 7:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oracle speaks

― i've grown accustomed to her face tat (m bison), Monday, November 5, 2012 7:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

are you seriously telling people to vote against the first android candidate for a major party?

― iatee, Monday, November 5, 2012 7:13 PM Bookmark

haw

(not that it really needs the context, but the Melbourne Cup is on today, so...)

feeling a little hoarse

― activated burgers (electricsound), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 10:38 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

theres laws against that u kno

― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 10:44 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

24 horses 1 cup

― thirstin' maw (haitch), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 11:56 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

irl lols over here

Friends don't let friends vote for 'lesser' evils

― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, November 6, 2012 3:07 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sez the mets fan!

― balls, Tuesday, November 6, 2012 3:10 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

guys focus on the important thing...in just 7 or 8 hours we'll know whether voters have chosen "Taxi" or "Cheers," and what their favorite "Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror segment is

― ICY BRO (SPECIAL GUEST) (some dude), Tuesday, November 6, 2012 8:42 AM (18 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hamill has been angling for a voice role on The Clone Wars, but they haven't been able to find a part for him. If they're gonna get an original trilogy star to do a voice on the show, they want it to not be something one-off or pointless.

― C-3PO Sharkey (Phil D.), Tuesday, November 6, 2012 10:07 AM (2 hours ago)

Tall order, that

― flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, November 6, 2012 10:22 AM (2 hours ago)

ooh that reminds me i must get round to putting online the swift quotes that didn't make it into the interview
--lex pretend

Is this the part where she responds to your request to cut into her flesh and wear her skin as a suit?

― croup da color of mayonnaise (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, November 5, 2012 8:12 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

Hahahaha

lol brilliant

kind of cruel!

you might even say: cutting

http://instantyeah.org/YEAH.JPG

Hahaha again

cold as ice

q lazzarus? i don't know who that is.

ooooh...ooooh oooh oooh...

how is that funny or cruel? it's fine, it's whiney doing his usual hurling anything that resembles a zing at the wall in case it sticks. i mean, obv certain bitches would hyuk hyuk at anything targeted at me no matter how tenuous, jess, but whatevz

"Stranglehold" is the best driving alone late at night about to get into some shit montage music ever. Has it been used in a movie like that before?

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, November 6, 2012 6:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah it's been used in the movie called my fuckin life and the sequel my fuckin life 2: me fuckin shit up bro

― You're a pushy lil bastard, ain't ya? But I like that. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, November 6, 2012 11:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's fucking brilliant

Especially because "Stranglehold" is what my friend and I were listening to while getting high 18 years ago right as we were leaving town to go to Lollapalooza where we would end up getting arrested and spending two days in jail.

btw I gave Jill Stein $25 cuz alla you pissed me off. much more bang for the buck.
― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, November 7, 2012 12:10 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gross
― Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, November 7, 2012 12:11 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yr just weird

and doity