guys I wrote a chapter:
NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO Camp
At the lake shore there was another rowboat drawn up. The two No Can Beato This Taquitos stood waiting.
DAVID PAGE and his GUY FIERI got in the stern of the boat and the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITOs shoved it off and one of them got in to row. FOOD NETWORK sat in the stern of the camp rowboat. The young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO shoved the camp boat off and got in to row FOOD NETWORK.
The two boats started off in the dark. DAVID PAGE heard the oarlocks of the other boat quite a way ahead of them in the mist. The NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITOs rowed with quick choppy strokes. DAVID PAGE lay back with his GUY FIERI's arm around him. It was cold on the water. The NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO who was rowing them was working very hard, but the other boat moved further ahead in the mist all the time.
"Where are we going, GUY FIERI?" DAVID PAGE asked.
"Over to the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO camp. There is an NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO lady very sick."
"Oh," said DAVID PAGE.
Across the bay they found the other boat beached. FOOD NETWORK was smoking a cigar in the dark. The young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO pulled the boat way up on the beach. FOOD NETWORK gave both the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITOs cigars.
They walked up from the beach through a meadow that was soaking wet with dew, following the young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO who carried a lantern. Then they went into the woods and followed a trail that led to the logging road that ran back into the hills. It was much lighter on the logging road as the timber was cut away on both sides. The young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO stopped and blew out his lantern and they all walled on along the road.
They came around a bend and a dog came out barking. Ahead were the lights of the shanties where the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO bark-peelers lived. More dogs rushed out at them. The two NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITOs sent them back to the shanties. In the shanty nearest the road there was a light in the window. An old woman stood in the doorway holding a lamp.
Inside on a wooden bunk lay a young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO woman. She had been trying to have her baby for two days. All the old women in the camp had been helping her. The men had moved off up the road to sit in the dark and smoke cut of range of the noise she made. She screamed just as DAVID PAGE and the two NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITOs followed his GUY FIERI and FOOD NETWORK into the shanty. She lay in the lower bunk, very big under a quilt. Her head was turned to one side. In the upper bunk was her husband. He had cut his foot very badly with an ax three days before. He was smoking a pipe. The room smelled very bad.
DAVID PAGE's GUY FIERI ordered some water to be put on the stove, and while it was heating he spoke to DAVID PAGE.
"This lady is going to have a baby, DAVID PAGE," he said.
"I know," said DAVID PAGE.
"You don't know," said his GUY FIERI. "Listen to me. What she is going through is called being in labor. The baby wants to be born and she wants it to be born. All her muscles are trying to get the baby born. That is what is happening when she screams."
"I see," DAVID PAGE said.
Just then NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO cried out.
"Oh, GUY FIERI, can't you give her something to make her stop screaming?" asked DAVID PAGE.
"No. I haven't any anaesthetic," his GUY FIERI said. "But her screams are not important. I don't hear them because they are not important."
The husband in the upper bunk rolled over against the wall.
NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO in the kitchen motioned to GUY FIERI that the water was hot. DAVID PAGE's GUY FIERI went into the kitchen and poured about half of the water out of the big kettle into a basin. Into the water left in the kettle he put several things he unwrapped from a handkerchief.
"Those must boil," he said, and began to scrub his hands in the basin of hot water with a cake of soap he had brought from the camp. DAVID PAGE watched his GUY FIERI's hands scrubbing each other with the soap. While his GUY FIERI washed his hands very carefully and thoroughly, he talked.
"You see, DAVID PAGE, babies are supposed to be born head first but sometimes they're not. When they're not they make a lot of trouble for everybody. Maybe I'll have to operate on this lady. We'll know in a little while."
When he was satisfied with his hands he went in and went to work.
"Pull back that quilt, will you, FOOD NEWTWORK?" he said. "I'd rather not touch it."
Later when he started to operate FOOD NETWORK and three NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO men held NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO still. She bit FOOD NETWORK on the arm and FOOD NETWORK said, "Damn NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO bitch!" and the young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO who had rowed FOOD NETWORK over laughed at him. DAVID PAGE held the basin for his GUY FIERI. It all took a long time.
His GUY FIERI picked the baby up and slapped it to make it breathe and handed it to the old woman.
"See, it's a boy, DAVID PAGE," he said. "How do you like being an interne?"
DAVID PAGE said. "All right." He was looking away so as not to see what his GUY FIERI was doing.
"There. That gets it," said his GUY FIERI and put something into the basin.
DAVID PAGE didn't look at it.
"Now," his GUY FIERI said, "there's some stitches to put in. You can watch this or not, DAVID PAGE, just as you like. I'm going to sew up the incision I made."
DAVID PAGE did not watch. His curiosity had been gone for a long time.
His GUY FIERI finished and stood up. FOOD NETWORK and the three NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO men stood up. DAVID PAGE put the basin out in the kitchen.
FOOD NETWORK looked at his arm. The young NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO smiled reminiscently.
"I'll put some peroxide on that, FOOD NEWTWORK," GUY FIERI said.
He bent over the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO woman. She was quiet now and her eyes were closed. She looked very pale. She did not know what had become of the baby or anything.
"I'll be back in the morning." GUY FIERI said, standing up.
"The nurse should be here from St. Ignace by noon and she'll bring everything we need."
He was feeling exalted and talkative as football players are in the dressing room after a game.
"That's one for the medical journal, FOOD NEWTWORK," he said. "Doing a Caesarian with a jack-knife and sewing it up with nine-foot, tapered gut leaders."
FOOD NETWORK was standing against the wall, looking at his arm.
"Oh, you're a great man, all right," he said.
"Ought to have a look at the proud NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO. They're usually the worst sufferers in these little affairs," GUY FIERI said. "I must say he took it all pretty quietly."
He pulled back the blanket from the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO's head. His hand came away wet. He mounted on the edge of the lower bunk with the lamp in one hand and looked in. The NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO lay with his face toward the wall. His throat had been cut from ear to ear. The blood had flowed down into a pool where his body sagged the bunk. His head rested on his left arm. The open razor lay, edge up, in the blankets.
"Take DAVID PAGE out of the shanty, FOOD NEWTWORK," GUY FIERI said.
There was no need of that. DAVID PAGE, standing in the door of the kitchen, had a good view of the upper bunk when his GUY FIERI, the lamp in one hand, tipped the NO CAN BEATO THIS TAQITO's head back.
It was just beginning to be daylight when they walked along the logging road back toward the lake.
"I'm terribly sorry I brought you along; DAVID PAGEie," said his GUY FIERI, all his post-operative exhilaration gone. "It was an awful mess to put you through."
"Do ladies always have such a hard time having babies?" DAVID PAGE asked.
"No, that was very, very exceptional."
"Why did he kill himself, GUY FIERI?"
"I don't know, DAVID PAGE. He couldn't stand things, I guess."
"Do many men kill themselves, GUY FIERI?"
"Not very many, DAVID PAGE."
"Do many women?"
"Hardly ever."
"Don't they ever?"
"Oh, yes. They do sometimes."
"GUY FIERI?"
"Yes."
"Where did FOOD NETWORK go?"
"He'll turn up all right."
"Is dying hard, GUY FIERI?"
"No, I think it's pretty easy, DAVID PAGE. It all depends."
They were seated in the boat. DAVID PAGE in the stern, his GUY FIERI rowing. The sun was coming up over the hills. A bass jumped, making a circle in the water. DAVID PAGE trailed his hand in the water. It felt warm in the sharp chill of the morning.
In the early morning on the lake sitting in the stern of the boat with his GUY FIERI rowing; he felt quite sure that he would never die.
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 15 November 2012 00:27 (eleven years ago) link