Insomnia.

Fucking horrible last night after warming up the previous two... A side effect of the steroids I take as part of chemotherapy, but it took 4 weeks to show up. I don't want to call the doctor cuz I don't want another fucking prescription.

I think I managed to drift off for about an hour on 2 or 3 occasions, during one of which I dreamed I worked for elderly Frank Sinatra, getting his mail.

:/

i would say talk to yr doc anyway. the last thing you want while going through chemo is to feel even worse for not sleeping. I mean, insomnia's bad enough when you're healthy, you know? and if it's chemical, maybe it's just a simple change or diff dosage.

sorry dude, that seriously sucks. but, on the upside, cool dream! :)

jesus morbs, i don't think i understood you were going through chemo. fuck. i'm really sorry to hear that.
are you getting by okay out there?

It's a rollercoaster, but I'm getting better. Just some new bumps from the meds these days.

Good thoughts going out to you man.

my sleeping has gotten so wacky thanks to insomnia and no particular schedule most of the time that i've decided to do the classic realignment tactic of staying up through a whole night and whole day and hopefully then falling asleep at normal human time. i'm really looking forward to being out and about during the morning tomorrow!!

i've been doing this most weekends lately : /

Morbs, I am sorry about chemo, that really sucks.

I think I need to go back on sleep meds, but my health insurance no longer covers medication. Basically I've taken to bumming pain and sleep meds off a relative who had surgery!

Tylenol PM works okay but you have to take more than two at a time to get knocked out.

sixth hour

sorry dude.

Aw Morbs, I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I had the same reaction to a dose of steroids; luckily I was only on them for two weeks. Once I finished I got right back to sleeping like a baby. Hang in there, good man!

Does this ever hit anyone else randomly? Like, "hmmm, I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight..." after weeks of a normal sleep pattern?

on topic, I hope Morbz finally got some sleep.

yes. seeing as i just woke up at 5.30 after going to bed at 2.30

good....... evening?

Morbs, do they not give you oxy/hydrocodone prescriptions? That would help,no? How long is your chemo course?

Mount Cleaners, I take old school Temazepam which is 20 something dollars without insurance.

I've been given Nitrazepam, i had been taking Zopiclone, but the Doc wouldn't prescribe any more as they are very addictive apparently. These Nitrazepam can be taken daily so you can get into a routine/sleep pattern. Once I've had one, you can pretty much set your watch for 40mins and you'll be out. They are quite trippy just as you start to nod off, they also make you yawn a ridiculous amount after taking them. I still wake up in the night, but i can at least get back to sleep, without them once i wake up i stay up. There's no hangover feel or grogginess in the mornings which is a bonus.

I have acetaminophen-oxycodone, ss, which I prefer not to take unless I'm in pain. (And in the chemo-free weeks, I prefer a moderate amount of alcohol.) I took one last night before bed bcz my arms hurt some. Still woke up at 5 a.m. The next chemo fortnight is my last one before being evaluated for stem-cell transplant.

Zopiclone one of the least addictive sleeping pills available, although as with most, it can be brutal if you stop cold turkey - best to taper off slowly. Bigger problem is the awful metallic taste some people (about 1 in 3) get in their mouth for the next 24 hours after taking it. It is effective as a sleeping pill.

Ambien (a.k.a. zolpidem) works great for me.

Oxycodone and hydrocodone don't make me sleepy and generally aren't indicated for insomnia, but they are excellent pain relievers.

home for xmas is a bad time for this

i got it too, past 3 days

http://www.granta.com/New-Writing/Kopfkino

i skipped through all the "this is my own personal nightmare" stuff and found this

There’s a term in German, Kopfkino, which means the imagination left to run wild, often magnifying the disturbing, unpleasant thoughts best kept at the mind’s edge.

i think this is also otm

We are, to a large extent, our own jail keepers. Our conditions define us, add contours, accents, drama to our lives. And the longer they accompany us, our so-called afflictions, the more years we spend together, the harder it is to part ways.

Using insomnia as an anaesthetic is definitely effective even if it has a lot of negative side effects (like every anaesthetic). I've been a lot better lately, not sure why. Fatigue from feeling fatigued?

Another night of no sleep. I'm twitching, my heart rate is crazy, my guts are wobbly, I feel so ILL and DISGUSTING and FUCKED UP, and I can't make plans to do anything to help with my other problems because I can never tell if I'll have collapsed by early afternoon or if I'll be far too shaky and fucked to leave the house again. I have Zopiclone but my doctor has told me not to take it too often so I can't ever get to a stage where my sleep cycle actually resets. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

i started taking cymbalta last week and i have to say that although it doesn't get you to sleep, the sleep you do get is high quality. well, certainly 1000x better than any sleep ive ever experienced.

Zopiclone is vile, emil.y, as I know I've said before! Have you worked things out at all?

Glad cymbalta is working for you ss, getting to sleep is 90% of my problem...

I've been routinely up until 2 or 3 a.m. since coming to Nigeria, sometimes later. It's an hour ahead of the UK and I haven't adjusted, after 3 weeks. On top of my usual insomnia, it's very hot, and I don't breathe well with A/C on. I'm out of Ambien and have only Atarax, which is a total dud. One of those long half-life drugs that makes you drowsy for 24 hours instead of all-asleep for 8. It's not actually a sleeping pill: my GP is a twunt.

I AM QUITE FED UP AND TIRED NOW BRANE. YOU CAN SHUT UP, THX.

what are you doing in nigeria?

Apart from lying awake at 3am cursing my GP, my brane, the heat, lyfe, Goblin Boy and all hys works, etc. etc.? Hanging out in one of the British Embassy compounds mostly, redrafting a novel, swimming, quaffing g&t's. I'm in Abuja, which is like if they'd made Milton Keynes the capital of England. Hotter. It's boring but having a pool in which to unkink my writer's neck is A++.

I wish I had a more interesting reason to be here, but so it goes. My hostess has an exciting job (British representative to ECOWAS), and she spent last week covering for the British ambassador to Mali, up in Bamako. She had 8 bodyguards and ate out for every meal. I wasn't allowed to go. Sadface.

that's a pretty exciting reason. then again my standards are v low for excitement :)

yeah that sounds pretty cool, aside from the non-sleeping part!

It is pretty cool. I do wish I could get out of the compound more, though. We went out a lot in Cote d'Ivoire and I accompanied her up country for meetings with warlords & such, but she was flying solo in Abidjan whereas this is a full-scale mission, with rules and rule-enforcement. Also, Mali. I still think of... let's call her Paddington... I still think of us both as mostly being about 17, so it's a bit weird to wake up and find she's acting head of mission in Mali.

So wait, you're there keeping your friend company while she talks to warlords? That's quite an opportunity!

Nooo... I *was* keeping her company while she talked to warlords, back in 2007 & 2009. This time out I'm keeping the nanny company while Paddington jets off to play war games with the other big kids. I think I've got a role in a crisis simulation next week though \o/

I mean just being there is an opportunity -- not getting to talk to warlords, etc.. I wouldn't even want that sort of responsibility, personally, but appreciate that there are people in the world who do. Enjoy it imo.

i've been taking otc sleep aids the last few months, after a bout of mild insomnia. i tried some herbal stuff for awhile but it wasn't all that effective so i went on to that stuff that's made from allergy medicine. it was making me super groggy in the mornings, but then i figured out i just needed to take at least 90mins before bed, and at least 10 hours before i have to get up.

so last night was the first time i've skipped a dose and i had the WORST WORST night - i was wide awake til 4am (which is fine, my husband is out of town for the week and i didn't have to work today) and then i was in this weird dozing state for about 90mins, but it felt like hours and the whole time i had this terrible, awful feeling of utter dread. i can't really explain it. i wasn't fully asleep but i couldn't seem to wake up enough to calm myself down; i kept hearing weird sounds and feeling convinced there was an intruder in the house, and the sense of impending doom was just... ugh i felt like an enormous weight was on my chest. i finally woke up fully when 2 cats started a full-on brawl outside my window that scared the shit out of me.

listening to the rain is nice, at least

I'm not insomniac, just I find my mind gets more ideas last thing at night and i don't want to break my creative streak. After work I went to a band meeting, wrote a music review and a treatment for a music video we're working on. That's pretty normal for an evening, but if there's nothing to do I generally find I have SOMETHING to do at 2am. I do feel like shit right now though.

Fell asleep at 7 this morning after being awake all night, just woke up now and feel fine. Only problem is tonight will probably be the same.

so last night was the first time i've skipped a dose and i had the WORST WORST night - i was wide awake til 4am (which is fine, my husband is out of town for the week and i didn't have to work today) and then i was in this weird dozing state for about 90mins, but it felt like hours and the whole time i had this terrible, awful feeling of utter dread. i can't really explain it. i wasn't fully asleep but i couldn't seem to wake up enough to calm myself down; i kept hearing weird sounds and feeling convinced there was an intruder in the house, and the sense of impending doom was just... ugh i felt like an enormous weight was on my chest.

yeah this is every night w/o medication for me. strangely ive started to be able to sleep w/o meds in the day quite deeply and well. but yeah that's a pretty great description of sleep med withdrawal stuff probably complicated by you being alone in the house when you usually arent.

After rereading my post that day, I realized it was probably sleep paralysis?

I haven'ttaken anything since last friday, and I've been doing ok - getting probably 6 hours of interrupted sleep. Not ideal but not terrible. gonna try some different herbal stuff this weekend.

Has anyone discussed the paradoxical effect of sleep aid usage resulting in increased insomnia symptoms? I bring it up because when I was taking them (the pills), I would only do it on nights I needed to know that I could have a full night's sleep. But then the next night I was buzzing around 3 hours after my bedtime unable to fall asleep. Consequently, the following night (night 3) I would use the medication again and it became a really vicious/stressful cycle. Now that I don't take the medication at all I have a much more...how to say...predictable experience at bedtime.

yeah totally. although on night 3 i am usually too exhausted to need a sleep aid.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2013/03/11/130311fa_fact_kolbert?currentPage=all

owls >>>> larks imo

What if I like to stay up late but also like to get up early?

u crazy?

Oh, I know that.

secret is non-24 hour sleep cycles, I managed a bit of it a while back and I felt really active and was unusually productive. I did something like: awake 6pm-8pm, asleep 8pm-6am, awake 6am-midnight. Then it broke.

I agree. I'm all about the naps.

Altho in my case it's more like awake 8-5pm, asleep 5-7pm, awake 7-2am.

Oh, I love naps.