I'mma lay your LOLs on the dresser and EXCELSIOR them shits with a spiked bat!

I had a great argument with my mom when I was unpacking in my college dorm and she found my optimistic box of condoms in my suitcase, the cornerstone exchange of which was her saying "we are sending you here to study, not have sex!" and me saying "well you're not sending me here to have a baby, either"

I never used any of those condoms so the joke ended up being on me

No Cunt of Mine

Return of the Giant Hog's Eye

also enjoyed that unused labels exchange on the globes thread

I don't want to think about Mike Rutherford naked aagggh

in the rimming years?

Can you hear me
Can you hear me coming...

All I need is a benwah ball

lol croup

she seems to have
an invisible touch, yeah
she reaches in
and grabs right
hold of your junk

oh that's not the original lyric?

but it's GETTING SO HARD!!! OHOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Haha HEH! *rawr*!

hahahaha damn it, I've been using that song as pre-show mood music for a darker theatre piece I'm doing. going to have to retire it now

(tho it was already about a prostitute!)

hello, i must be coming

Land of Ball Juicin

no

lol

haha

you're taking it all too hard

noooo

i wonder if Strongo's dad, after seeing said porn, told him that he was no son of his.

probably incontrovertible proof they're related

there must be some misunderstanding!

"The Brazilian" kind of good as is really

Deep in the Motherlode

Dancing With the Huge-Dicked Knight

Selling England By The (Ass) Pound

Jesus He Blows Me

hahaha

Land of Ball Juicin

― NINO CARTER, Monday, January 14, 2013 7:19 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no

― mookieproof, Monday, January 14, 2013 7:19 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

from You gettin' a black line on "New Answers"ILM?

Was seeing some kind of pyramid at one point.

― The Teardrop ILXplodes (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 8:44 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah that happened to Roky too before he lost his mind completely

― qbert yuiop (NickB), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 8:57 AM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

With some edits:

--

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21023610

Nick Twine, a 47-year-old supervisor at home improvement chain B&Q in Lincoln, probably speaks for many of his kind when he laments the changes at his local HMV shop.

"My time to go to the High Street is to take the kids shopping," says Mr Twine, who has three daughters. "They want to go to the shops and buy clothes and make-up. HMV is my soother to the pain of going to the shops - I can spend a couple of hours browsing around."

The problem is that browsing is all he does there nowadays. The chain's decision to stock fewer music titles in favour of games and gadgets has made it hard for him to find any CDs worth buying.

"I have broad music tastes - anything apart from opera - but I went there on Sunday with £50 to spend and I actually couldn't find anything that I needed.

"It's kind of indicative that they can never carry enough stuff to appeal to guys like me, who have vast record collections and go online to find the stuff they need."...

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:16 AM (1 hour ago)

50 quid man! a spotting in the wild!

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:31 AM (1 hour ago)

Nick Twine, a 47-year-old supervisor at home improvement chain B&Q in Lincoln

― things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:32 AM (1 hour ago)

Last time I went to Rough Trade, without meaning to, I spent exactly £50. I had become that guy.

― Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:36 AM (1 hour ago)

you bought two CDs?

― Mark G, Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:37 AM (1 hour ago)

Last time I went to B&Q to nick twine, I got thrown out by some 47-year-old supervisor

― qbert yuiop (NickB), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:38 AM (1 hour ago)

you cut off the best bit, nilmar

Nick Twine, a 47-year-old supervisor at home improvement chain B&Q in Lincoln, probably speaks for many of his kind

― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:39 AM (1 hour ago)

"My father was a 47-year-old supervisor at B&Q, and his father before him, and his father's father..."

― Four days left to vote in the ILM End of Year Poll! (seandalai), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:40 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Don't you just hate people in their 40s buying music and having jobs?

― Stop Gerrying Me! (onimo), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:44 AM (1 hour ago)

Coalition govt. should start demonising them imo

― Designated Striver (Tom D.), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:45 AM (1 hour ago)

They don't deserve HMV.

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:46 AM (1 hour ago)

While the rest of us are getting up early in the morning to go to to work these people are getting up early in the morning to go to to work and going to HMV in their lunch breaks

― Designated Striver (Tom D.), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:48 AM (1 hour ago)

Disgusting savages; list them ALL itt

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:49 AM (1 hour ago)

Don't you just hate people in their 40s buying music and having jobs?

yeah, these young people...

― Mark G, Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:50 AM (1 hour ago)

I must confess that Nick Twine - that Nick Twine – is a friend of a friend.

― Manfred Mann meets Man Parrish (ithappens), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:50 AM (1 hour ago)

thank you, Rob Thread.

― Mark G, Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:51 AM (1 hour ago)

we use words like hemiola

― President Keyes, Monday, January 14, 2013 9:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Q. How do you stop someone who's out to nick twine?
A. Lock thread.

you got a race war
and I got a plan to get us out of here

― Influential Acid Jazz Pioneer (crüt), Wednesday, January 16, 2013 1:45 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

1. use a fake name 2 date manti teo
2. make him think u died of cancer
3. profit?

― johnny crunch, Wednesday, January 16, 2013 5:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a huge component of following sports - rather than just watching them - is the ridic drama!

if something like this happened in tennis i'd be GORGING MYSELF, i'd be riveted

― lex pretend, Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:41 AM (13 minutes ago)

i mean i'm pretty riveted as it is and i'm not even sure what sport this is

― lex pretend, Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:41 AM (12 minutes ago)

The sport is called "human sock puppeting"

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:45 AM (9 minutes ago)

snazzy website:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/issues/preventing-gun-violence

― Z S, Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

except that when i just tried to sign the petition it brought me an error message and an apology :-/

― Z S, Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:34 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

404 Sorry, we can't prevent gun violence. This is a sham.

― Three days left to vote in the ILM End of Year Poll! (seandalai), Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:57 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

didn't butt trumpet win a Spin contest looking for the worst band in America? I'm assuming that was *before* they were signed ... ? help me out here, I don't really feel like googling for the history of butt trumpet

― dmr, Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:04 AM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pretty sure the a&r guy meant to sign poopshovel instead but just got confused

― a la recherche du tempbans perdu (NickB), Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:10 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

have you guys never met a mormon

― iatee, Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:56 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm not even sure ann romney is real

― iatee, Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:57 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/9392/deadspine.jpg

― NINO CARTER, Thursday, January 17, 2013 5:05 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

!!

HAAA

I feel like te'o wanted this to be like that inspirational sandy bullock flick the blind side, but instead it ended up like that desperate sandy bullock flick the proposal.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, January 17, 2013 5:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha

― NINO CARTER, Thursday, January 17, 2013 5:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more like the net

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, January 17, 2013 5:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for reals that one is good

it's ok

come on, take the compliment

hope floats