Is Jack Colback the least glamorous footballer in the Premier League?

In October 2006, Ferdinand was arrested on assault charges following a fracas outside a nightclub in Ilford. He was charged in November 2006.[32] He appeared at Snaresbrook Crown Court on 12 November 2007 charged with assault occasioning actual bodily harm and affray, arising from this incident. It was alleged that Ferdinand had punched Emile Walker. In his defence, Ferdinand said he had feared he was going to be robbed of his £64,000 watch and was defending himself.[33] On 20 November 2007, Ferdinand was acquitted as the jury accepted he was acting in self-defence.[34]

The 23-year-old West Ham centre-back is expected to complete the £8m transfer today after yesterday's medical and Keane was happy to give an insight into how he persuaded his ninth signing of the summer to move to the Stadium of Light.

"There is no reason why he can't go on and become a top, top player. I think he has an international future," said Sunderland's manager. "He has played over 150 games and we're on about players with a bit of experience so, for all his rawness, he has a few games under his belt. He knows the Premiership, he is English, it's a good price, so it suits everyone.

MICKEY EVANS! Ah, one of my favourite Saints players for a time given his knack of scoring by shoving his forehead right into the firing line. I fondly recall one goal (not sure against who, possibly West Ham? Think Miklosko was in goal) which was him nodding in a corner from maybe two yards, then crashing into the post. Then Miklosko goes into the post. And then Mickey (impervious to goalposts) heads off to celebrate with the team, but Francis Benali runs into the post while trying to join in.

I'm fairly sure I'm not making this up.

(There are so many ex-Saints players who'd be all-timers on this thread, probably none more than Simon Charlton)

In May 2012, he appeared for and captained the Sealand national football team in a match against the Chagos Islands. The match was held at the grounds of Godalming Town.[13]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17981522

February 2004 Brazil Edu† Arsenal MF [23]
March 2004 Finland Mikael Forssell Birmingham City FW [23]

I cannot remember what happened in football during these two months, but... hmm.

Scoring for fun iirc

edu was a fine player, forssell was hyped a lot in his chelsea days but i never realized he scored 17 epl goals for birmingham that season

Edu's penchant for scoring important goals covered a pretty average player who only gained any consistency on his way out the door iirc

Forssell was lethal as a 17-8 year old, he was the new solskjaer but from 20 yards

Alex Manninger!

"Manninger ably covered for him, enjoying a spell of six clean sheets in a row in the league, a joint club record. The last of these was against Manchester United at Old Trafford, where Arsenal won 1–0. In March 1998, he was named Premier League Player of the Month"

He was great during that whole title run-in iirc.

That 2003-04 season was the first year of Abramovich madness, when they signed Crespo and Mutu. Then sent Forssell out to Birmingham where he comfortably outscored every Chelsea player. Happy times.

He was the Lukaku of his day. Oh look, Veron!

2001-present day LFC's only winners Gerrard and Torres. Suarez wants to up his game, even Danny Murphy has had better months than him.

Odemwingie's won this 3 times! No wonder he wants a pay rise.

Jack Colback has orange boots. I am confused.

Joey O'Brien

just realized he isn't andy o'brien's brother

Yerman who scored for wba today

http://i.imgur.com/xOd1Y2C.jpg

gave good interview after the game imo

Ben Watson (footballer born July 1985)

lol i love how his name is so ordinary that not only does it have to be disambiguated by year but by month too

Sunderland midfielder Jack Colback has rejected the offer of a contract extension, meaning the 23-year old – who has a year left on his current deal – now likely to be sold in the summer to avoid the possibility of him leaving on a free.

upping his glam factor

midfielder

http://i.imgur.com/JbwjtIU.png

loool at change image in op

unless... that was always there and i never noticed

I read through WBS's original post and thought "Aaron Hughes, never heard of him", then scrolled down a bit further to see that I'd posted "Aaron Hughes, never heard of him". I'll be back on the opening day of the season with the same thought.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/10/17/article-2465285-18CBAF6F00000578-459_634x429.jpg

Jonathan Wilson ‏@jonawils 1h

Why on earth was Crystal Palace v Sunderland the 3rd most watched Prem game on US TV so far this season?

Jonathan Wilson ‏@jonawils 1h

Labour day weekend (+ Altidore + ko time) seems the most plausible explanation; Jack Colback's US fan club the least.

if jack colback is going to become the new lol emile heskey signs for real madrid retarded bantz glam/antiglam ting then maybe it's time to anoint another

hope he has a really good season as poyet gets sunderland to a resoundlingly emphatic 14th in the epl and then signs for chelsea for £5m, playing 14 games in three years and just getting abused by get involved commenters for picking up his 50 grand a week

http://twitter.com/tattoobaron/status/247701615757373440

― r|t|c, Friday, 4 January 2013 22:05 (10 months ago) Bookmark

just a reminder that this is now belongs to the manager of a professional football club

http://i.imgur.com/AGGwNFx.png

GOAL! Cardiff 2-2 Sunderland (Colback, 90min+5)

Sunderland equalise with what must be the final kick of the match!

The little beauty. Had 17-1 treble that ended with Cardiff and Sunderland drawing.

It has been a year.

http://www.premierleague.com/content/dam/premierleague/shared-images/matches/2013-2014/epl/cardiff/cardiff-vs-sunderland/action-images/car-sun-1314-281213-ps23.jpg

It is time to ask:

Is Jack Colback still the least glamorous footballer in the Premier League?

Now Jack is cool enough to be acknowledged by Manny Giaccherini and Ki-Sung Yeung, not to mention get zinged by goalpost enthusiast Jonathan Wilson, is he still the anti-glammest of the anti-glam? (Yes, I'm aware some of us think Chris Baird is less glam, but he's at Reading now. Which admittedly is probably actually less glam, but they're in the Championship now, so his benchmarks for anti-glam are significantly stiffer now. Like Simon Gillett levels of anti-glam)

Let's club-by-club this business. There's a fair few new contenders...

ARSENAL

...but not really here so much. I mean, Kieron Gibbs? Maybe? Does anyone ever really think about Kieron Gibbs? Do we actually know that Kieron Gibbs is good or just that he's not worse than lots of other people?

Nah, there's nothing for us here, really. Not even Nacho Monreal.

(Checking that image again, Giaccherini isn't really looking at Jack, so that's some ordinariness restored)

ASTON VILLA

Now it begins.

I'm checking this off against the Fantasy Premier League squad lists, and it turns out Ciaran Clark is Villa's most valuable defender. Who knew? So that's probably him off the list, I guess.

The Lambert youthmass does throw up some other contenders though. Nathan Baker, for instance, is mainly notable for not being Ciaran Clark. No-one seems entirely sure what the point of Alex Tonev is. Or Yacouba Sylla. Nicklas Helenius could be a contender if he'd played more, since he's both neither Libor Kozak nor Andreas Cornelius. But then there's the thing where he got pantsed by Vertonghen. Oh well. Karin El Ahmadi it is, then.

El Ahmadi was Dutch Esquire's most fashionable footballer of 2012 so shouldn't really be a contender.

He looks like the kind of person who would hang out with Seal.

CARDIFF CITY

Being overshadowed by others is a key attribute of the non-glam, and the recent Cardiff shenanigans have done a very good job of making the club's actual players even less discussed than before. Peter Whittingham is one of Cardiff's biggest names. So is Jordon Mutch. That is how glam Cardiff aren't.

So then:

Ben Turner - a hulking ex-Coventry centre-back who I believe has been ever-present this season but who is only responsible for four of the top 10 image hits for his name on Google image search, the other six belonging to an actor off of Casualty. None of those images are of him in Cardiff's current kit.

Andrew Taylor - once upon a time not so very long ago, the mere fact of being an English dude in the top flight who could play at left-back would be enough to put you in the international caps conversation. Unfortunately for this Middlesbrough academy product (*tick*), that is no longer the case. Even more GIS-challenged than Turner, with three of his first four image hits featuring him in Boro's kit. He hasn't played for them since 2011.

Don Cowie - quite good on Football Manager. Probably first top-flight player since Don Hutchison to be called Don. Ex-Caley Thistle and Watford.

Craig Noone and Declan John probably haven't figured enough to discuss here, but could be worth a look at in future (though Noone, if I remember right, is an ex-proper job-haver, which I think disqualifies him as it means he could very feasibly be given the full-page interview treatment in The Guardian at some point)

Kevin Theophile-Catherine's fantastic name totally riles him out, but I feel it should definitely be pointed out that he has a really fantastic name. Even typing it makes me feel slightly minty.

CHELSEA

Nope. Not even fifth-choice England left-back Ryan Bertrand.

http://i.imgur.com/61iIGoC.jpg

CRYSTAL PALACE

And here's the game-changers.

Firstly, let us consider the phenomenon of "Look at Chamakh here", the phrase that nearly every pundit seems to reach for when asked to diagnose Palace's ills. Whether it be wearing non-black boots, having inexplicable hair, or not doing Danny Gabbidon's job for him, it feels as though everything that's gone wrong for Palace this season has been laid at the doorstep of Marouane Chamakh, meaning more or less all other Palace players tend to get completely ignored in yr mainstream medias.

Then there's the small matter of Palace's astonishingly awful summer transfer window, in which they tried to bolster their Championship squad by bringing in so many other Championship players that Fantasy Premier League's Palace player list contains at least four people who didn't make Palace's final 25-man squad. Poor Florian Marange's picture has had to be taken from his time at Bordeaux, so remote are his chances of actually playing for Palace in the Premier League this season (NON-GLAM FACT: Florian Marange is still more expensive than Nathan Baker in Fantasy PL).

This means there's a whole bunch of players in their squad you might not have realised were actually at Palace. Jerome Thomas, for instance. Jimmy Kebe. Adlene Guedioura. Elliott Grandin. Adrian Mariappa.

But three figures tower o'er all these in the non-glam stakes:

Joel Ward - ex-Portsmouth academy product who appears to be carving out a career as a young English top flight right-back without anyone noticing. Given the season Kyle Walker's having, that takes doing.

Damien Delaney - a 32-year-old Cork-born centre-back with eight whole caps for the Republic of Ireland (comparison: Sean St Ledger has 36). Has played in all but one of Palace's games this season.

And then, this guy:

http://www.c-palace.org/images/players/stuartokeefe_2012.jpg

Who I think might just be a contender for the whole damn thing. So much so I'm gonna let you tell me about him.

(clue: it's not Dean Moxey. Or Steve Morison)

EVERTON

Tony Hibbert has yet to feature for Everton in the Premier League this season.

Walkers had a resurgence of late tbh but kiu otherwise