Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

1. "What does agriculture mean?"

2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."

3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."

Her: "What address? Their address?"

Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.

Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...

An old japanese woman wearing a baby dress and pigtails jumping and down in front of me at the desk. I just came in. Please, let me wake up a bit first. Or am I still dreaming?

i feel like i'm missing out

There's nothing like a five minute meeting with your boss in which he tells you that you've basically got like two months to turn things around with a mouth full of Mike n' Ikes.

big flat mole on the left side of his face with 9 really long and scraggly hairs growing out of it. He was always playing with them... twisting and pulling on them (but not pulling them out.) Very distracting....

"Please tell me if you understand what I am saying, at the moment in the exqualifier there are only a 4 digit code, you append another 3 in front of them I don't know where, but doesn't matter anyway to sort out the letter in the front for the new code."

I assure you it makes only 1% more sense to me than it does to you.

THis goes on at least ONCE A WEEK in my office.

Also, I don't think the owner's secretary knows how to use the phone properly, because she's always complaining that "the phones are down", but it's only her phone, apparently. And when someone comes in to test it, it works.

I think you just identified the perv dream of far too many people in the world. But you'd have to give them guns too.

The only really annoying thing my current co-workers do is send me ridiculous spam forwards about poisoned shampoo samples (normally originating from higher up in the Council!), then look sceptical when I explain that it's a dumb scaremongering thing to do. Also I have to tell them how to spell things all the live long day.

I have found that replying to annoying forwarders with a link to Urban Legends stops them dead in their tracks.

One of our senior partners asked me to scan some pictures for his daughter this morning, first thing - they were from medical books, examples of colostomys, I still feel ill.....

I'd just be like, "I guess there's no incentive to finish things ahead of schedule!"

Or alternatively, just add at least one week to every timeline and you got your four weeks, buddy

I mean this is totally the "flair" discussion from Office Space, only I guess he saw that movie and sided with the Mike Judge boss character instead of realizing he was the butt of the joke and not Aniston.

I quit my job :)

She was not happy that I gave no notice - she thought I’d give them more time for a handover - and I just replied “well you’ve been cutting my hours for awhile now so I don’t think there’s much left to handover”. Her response was that the hour cutting was temporary because business was slow and that she wished I’d told her I needed more hours. Like, what? I’m not gonna be at the mercy of how badly you’re running the business at any given time.

Jon, your manager absolutely sucks. What a piece of shit.

fuck yeah just1n3! congrats - it's funny how much they shrivel up when they realize they no longer have any power over you.

Thanks! I’m on vacation in Finland right now and this is the first time in yeeeears I haven’t had to check in on customer emails, answer staff texts, talk my boss through something, and have just been free. Except I’ve spent 90% of my time here sick 🫠

That last bit is rough. Was in Germany a few months ago and was sick the entire time.

Yes way to go justin3!!

just1n3 even!! xo

worse than scheduling a meeting for 8:30 am, requiring me to log in earlier than usual - rescheduling it one minute before it was supposed to start.