Polyamory

It is an excuse for one person to have their cake and eat it too. It is the refuge of the emotionally selfish who doesn't mind hurting everyone around them except themselves.

Or, on the other hand, if you're that bored with a relationship that you want to start screwing around - sorry - bringing other people into it, then that relationship wasn't built on anything particularly strong in the first place.

DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD!!!

Not that I speak from experience either.

A couple of years ago, my husband and I had a girlfriend who lived in Germany, and who was involved with both of us -- again, we would see her a few times a year and all was very nice. We went to Venice together once. She dumped us in a particularly heartless manner. Plus, she was a Momus fan!

Kate nailed it from my own outside perspective, it always seemed to be one guy with an inflated sense of self-esteem and probably a too-big-dick and girls who did not have good opinions of themselves, who did a good job of seeming to be cool with everything, but in all the cases I witnessed someone was getting hurt and, away from the people in the relationship, was very obviously unhappy.

Frankly the whole thing smacks of immaturity to me.

ronan and i came up with a website the yesterday called "creaky finger"

Hell, why have a relationship in the first place, then!

The only regular poster I know of who can speak with any authority on this subject is Ms. Laura.

I have been a part of a poly relationship, and while it didn't work all that well, for a whole shedload of reasons, it's not something I wouldn't consider again. I'm honestly not bothered by my partner being someone else's partner as well, providing he/she is not an arsehole. I've known enough happy poly people/relationships to be aware that it can work, and over a long period of time too.

(special for Josh there)

I've had a tiny bit of firsthand experience and tons of secondhand experience with it. It isn't for me. The majority of the people I've known who seem to make it work are people I really can't stand, which makes it all pretty moot for me: if those are the personalities required to make it work, it really really isn't for me. (I'm not counting Our Ms L, since I don't really know her.)

(Almost cross-posted with Dan there. The ditto is to DDG.)

haha why do you think i revived this?!?!

since when do i have any say, especially if i "love" someone, in how that person lives their life, provided i don't feel like the way they need to live their life is trampling over my same.

I know it's just your take on it, jess, but this seems either vague enough as to not mean much ("... provided I don't feel ..." grants a lot of leeway) or just bizarre. In any long-term relationship, how X lives their life affects Y in many, many ways which don't trample Y's ability to live their life the way they want to.

That's all I was saying, I think -- compromise as opposed to a completely "do whatever you like as long as it doesn't threaten my well-being" sort of thing.

(Now I'm derailing this thread. Ignore me, actually, I should be writing my paper for tomorrow morning.)

like cultists

this badiouian-maoist critique of polyamory

amazing!

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The authors have deleted this site.

rip

i wayback machine'd it, you should too?

https://web.archive.org/web/20141015103013/http://revolutionaryphilosophycommittee.wordpress.com/2014/09/01/a-communist-critique-of-polyamory/

thanking u!

Those who engage in polyamory speak about loving multiple people, yet they never once ask the question, ‘what is love?’

badiou don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more

this badiouian-maoist critique of polyamory

amazing!

― budo jeru

at least we don't have to content with a baeddelian critique of polyamory (lol as if such i could even imagine a self-identified baeddel who wasn't poly)