i just got a job working overnight at a hotel front desk

I like this thread

I know? It's half making me want to get a hotel receptionist's job

Ace thread!

lol the girl

hopefully there is going to be some throwing-guests-out stuff to come on this thread, continuing the august ilx tradition of excellence

Where is this hotel?

pinefox you pop up at the strangest times

i don't know if i can get into another homophobe hotel special

Best thread.

love hotels

like, with heart-shaped jacuzzis and pink sheets?

pinefox: alberta-british columbia border area near wellknown national park.

yes xp

when my parents used to take me to hotels i would roam the lobbies, marble fountains

he said, "does your boss let you dip at work?" when he saw i had a dip in

What does this mean? Like, salsa dip?

dip is the new thing

I feel like this thread could only be improved if dylan has to eject an abusive hotel guest and it turns out to be HOOS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dipping_tobacco

Oh, dip = snus! I see.

what's that song that's like i dip you dip we dip

is that a commercial

i mean, snus and dip, they're different. don't worry about it, though.

that song is "da dip" by freak nasty.

ohh

you really are front desk

i have managed to overbook the house-- i'm not sure how it happened but i feel like it wasn't my fault.

every guest that walks through into the lobby, i feel a spike of dread in my constant low level buzz of apprehension.

but i only need one no show to make it through.

villian

i'm not sure how i'll play it if every guest arrives. i'm thinking i'll just, "oh dear, we don't seem to have that reservation on file," and put on an expression of severe exasperation that will cause them to be sympathetic to my situation.

this is the night you learn what it means to work the front desk. this is the night you make that leap from ingenuous clerk to family murderer.

they'll have crying toddlers

blame the fuckups at corporate

i'm not sure how i'll play it if every guest arrives.

Can you go watch some Fawlty Towers real quick?

if two singles come in better figure out how to play matchmaker quick

exactly, i've got rooms with two beds, and even two rooms, and one person staying in them! "listen, i've got this guy down at the front desk, he really needs a room.... i was thinking... if you don't mind-- he's checking out really early. and don't worry, he's going to cover half of the cost of the room. great guy, too."

i'm also going to claim it's my first day.

well it sounds like no matter what you do it's gonna end in murder, better get your alibis straight

who would i be murdering? are you saying i should clear out a room by brutally slaughtering the occupants?

Just don't rule anything out. That's all we're saying.

i'm feeling confident. past midnight, five arrivals are still missing.

HOOS TO THREAD

either you murder someone or you set two people up together who then murder each other or everyone murders everyone it's a big murder party, sorry i wasn't clear

i made it through.

i just put on my sweater and walked around the hotel once. hazy pink mountain sunrise. i just ordered a plate of waffles, bacon, and yogurt with saskatoon berries. a german tour group is mounting their bus in the parking park. they're all dressed in grey and blue arcteryx and northface jackets and plastic pants.

thanks for the support.

Should read this:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517s5A%2BsVRL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

Basically boils down to: person at the front desk wields all the power.

between may and september, the hotel is mostly booked. a few weeknights are still free. we have a few suites set aside on scattered weekends. there are cancellations and no shows. but you can't really get a room just by walking in the door.

tonight, a man with one arm came into the hotel to ask for a room. i said, "we don't have any suites available for tonight."
he asked, "do you need a credit card to book a room?"
"yes, you do need a credit card to book a room."
"okay. you need a credit card?"
"but, unfortunately, we don't have any rooms available tonight."
he asked me, with real bitterness, "is it because of the way i look?"

This thread has strong potential to be a black and white Jim Jarmusch short featuring John Lurie and filmed in 1983. Which would be odd, because someone would alert dylannn to its existence via social media, and he would (after much postponement, because who needs a busman's holiday?) watch it with a growing sense of deja vu.

I lived that very scene, man! The one-armed man [in movie, inevitable Tom Waits cameo] really did croak: "Is it because of the way I look?"

You are the overnight desk clerk, Dylannn--you've always been the overnight desk clerk.

(Looking forward to checking in on this thread in about a month.)

a few hours ago, a guy with a cowboy hat came in, looked a lot like don imus, and asked me questions about my life and he also told me: "i've got a son named dylan," bob dylan's birthday was on may 24th, and bob dylan is 72 years old. he told me that he divorced his wife on bob dylan's birthday. his wife was a canadian public radio personality whose name i recognized. he asked me if i was a musician. he gave me a cd, broke out the back sheet from it and signed it with a sharpie, THANKS FOR LISTENING. i'm listening to it right now and there's a song on the cd called "a lonely place called divorce" and there's a line on it about divorcing his wife on bob dylan's birthday. there's another song warning women to treat him well or they'll end up as a line in his suicide letter.

i was impressed with his commitment to his personal vision of his own character. but it made almost too neat an anecdote to share, black and white jim jarmusch short neat. maybe the one armed man story should have been filed in the same category.

what's happening in a month?

http://www.awardscircuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/jack_torrance_jack_nicholson_the_shining_warnerbros_16anof7-16anoga1.jpg

(Just kidding--good luck.)

No bellhop sidekick?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNNKOXJ2PqI

the boredom, killing six or seven hours of deadtime a night
is grinding me down.

a guy came to the desk a few minutes ago, he said, "you want to do a good gag with me?"
"sure, okay... what are we doing?"
"you come up to our room in about fifteen minutes, tell us we're too loud--"
"okay."
"--and i'll freak out on you and you tell us that we're all outta there."

this doesn't sound like a good idea. i don't trust his improv skills.

jim thompson's a swell looking babe is a pretty creepy book with an overnight hotel clerk protagonist

i think about this thread a lot.

http://i.imgur.com/laRrEmB.jpg

work there now

http://cf.badassdigest.com/_uploads/images/26603/shiningprequel__span__span.jpeg

dylannn?? are you serious?

about what?

i work at the hotel in that picture, yes.

it was built in 1914. it is now owned by an investment holding company based in saudi arabia.

http://imgur.com/En05SBO.jpg

http://imgur.com/6hweG4P.jpg

http://imgur.com/GmXPB2m.jpg

http://imgur.com/5Qq5OAc.jpg

wow.

looking through early century pictures, the hotel serves like the same people as it always has, modern iterations of the edmonton raw fur merchant's assocation, resource sector management and executives, various various industry types doing anything possibly associated with oil and gas, galas for syncrude in the ballroom, the ceo of xxxxx infrastructure that nobody has ever heard of but have projects in northern alberta, nigeria, bolivia, libya, trillion dollar company. lots of corporate guests traveling on discount rates.

the rest is:

lots of richest man in grande prairie-types, five nights in the big city in a suite, valet a lifted f-350 and pre-arrival checking out who's dropping a grand a night on a room and it's like, son of the guy whose dad whose grandparents came out to homestead in some town on the alberta-saskatchewan border in the 1910s and got the first ford dealership and built the biggest house in town and it cost them like fifty grand and it has a six car garage and the son now runs one of the dealerships and donated ten grand to the local dinosaur bones/old tractor museum and got a wing named after him, where they have the discovery center where field trips go to dig up plastic bones from a sandbox/the vintage snowmobile section. six figures spent in the outlets and in room dining, mostly on scotch and steaks. preparing guest resumes for them is always interesting, a century of heavy coverage in local newspapers that they now co-own.

guys down from fort mac on romantic getaways that request towel swans on the beds and chocolate covered strawberries, valet lifted f-350s.

nhl teams.

members of third world royal families. members of the british royal family.

prostitutes. invariably quebecois, cash deposits.

minor celebrities. this afternoon: david sedaris.

http://peel.library.ualberta.ca/pcimages/PC/012/web/PC012104.jpg

Fascinating; great posts; thanks for this thread.

Reminded of two photo books/ projects, Sophie Calle's "The Hotel" and Chris Shaw's "Life as a Night Porter."

Would read book of your anecdotes, fragments.

dinosaur bones/old tractor museum

i kiss u

thanks!

it's a cool place to work, actually like it's kind of like working in a time that doesn't exist anymore like there are people working there that have job names that i've only read in like prewar novels? which is what i wrote for: old books. it's like working in 1932. i have come across another like, well a class of people that are familiar with and know oldschool service. there are rich people but most of them are the abovementioned richest man in grande prairie-types or if they're in the resource sector are rich in the sense of having a great big house in a suburb of calgary toward the foothills and have boys weekends in vegas and go to hawaii with the family and work like at some deformed crown corporation or got a degree in some oil related thing and work at cenovus but basically came from the middle class and are staying there because it's the most expensive hotel in the city and they have a corporate rate and a good fitness center but it actually means something to some people even if it's owned by a company in dubai who are focused on opening airport hotels in third tier chinese cities (zhenghzhou 2016 and nanjing 2015) and central asia. i'm not sure how to put it but there are people who breeze in and know all the rules of faded prestige hoteling and have respect for the institution? like they're a cabinet minister's wife off a train from chateau frontenac on their way to banff springs, furs and sturdy luggage, actually greet you by name at the desk even if you're struggling to remember their name. they're demanding but a pleasure to serve because the culture and history of the hotel is all about people like that, old money furs and giant designer glasses and a glass of scotch ready in the lounge ready when he comes through the door and a long long list of private preferences to be prepared prior to arrival. and europeans, they're into it too.

this is the night you learn what it means to work the front desk. this is the night you make that leap from ingenuous clerk to family murderer.

― shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat (zachlyon),

lol

just catching up with this thread, great stuff. i am one of those dudes chilling in the grand sprawl of the calgary burbs.
kind of hoping the price of oil starts putting a dent in the number of people who do that annual mexico/vegas/hawaii vacation circuit. have to constantly quell my jealousy when they're walking around all sun-kissed in february, you can't even tan here in august damnit.

ŋeil diamoŋd had a lengthy list of concerns, an extensive rider, intense security. before he came and went each day, his security team did a walkthrough, posted someone at the elevator up to his suite. there are guests that generate some interest and there'll be people loitering outside. but ŋeil, not really. i think he was playing at a casino in town? even the staff who received his resume and extensive notes on his preferences and allergies and whatever seemed unable to remember him. one night, ŋeil decided to walk the short distance from the hotel to some restaurant a half block away. i was invited along for the walk. as we crossed through the park, a man seemed to recognize him. one of the two security guys with us mumbled, "professional autograph seeker" or something. the man grabbed a bike that was leaning against a bench and approached ŋeil and asked him, "how much'll you give me for this bike?"

lolol

so good

:D

i want to marry that hotel

keep thinking about this thread

Had almost forgotten it, thanks.

it's one of the best

Meh.. Just some inconsequential life through a monacle shitjob tourism with all the despair filtered out!

Didn't HOOS have a similar thread at one point?

i recall HOOS had to put someone in they place

My bartender, myself, and my general manager will not tolerate your hate speech on our property. Please leave.