There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to jump all night!

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i think your best bet is to shoot this guy, so that will make it was front page story and then your photos will be totally k-valueable

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

If you sell those pix you'll be rolling in it!

http://www.gamers.com/i/pics/288810_t.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:43 (twenty years ago) link

That guy would be worth about 500 points in Grand Theft Auto.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

i don't really play games so that's not so much of a concern to me, but thanks

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

well, not to poop on yr parade, but the fact that you've posted them here has diminished their value. but yeah try local papers first.
tabloids might buy too.
some papers have a policy against publishing suicide attempt photos for fear of creating the impression that it's an easy way to get publicity/attention.
but ask for the managing or deputy editor.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:47 (twenty years ago) link

i'm much more interested in whether these photos will be bought than the actual outcome of jumper. is this wrong?

― mark cunningham (robotsinlove), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:56 (twenty years ago) link

a friend has suggested that i put my speakers out the window and blast Van Halen's "Jump" or kriss kross or house of pain or 'another one bites the dust'

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:59 (twenty years ago) link

too easy.

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf500/f596/f59631u2zw0.jpg

go for the 7th track of this one, instead.

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:02 (twenty years ago) link

On the 'pretty freaked' photo, he looks like he's doing a dance move.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:09 (twenty years ago) link

I heard them mention him on KGO this morning... you could almost hear the smirk in the traffic reporters voice as she mentioned "a man threatening to jump from a one story building..."

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:11 (twenty years ago) link

so what's the status, eh? is that big yellow lift proving to be the godsend or what?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, the classic mid '80s Run-DMC stance

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

I like how the cop up on the roof brought a bottle of Cranberry Snapple with him.. just in case.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:13 (twenty years ago) link

urinary tract infections don't stop for derelicts.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:14 (twenty years ago) link

he totally wanted that snapple. but he didn't want to leave his ledge. he told everybody to leave him alone so he could drink, but he never actually got it.

right now everybody has left him alone. there's no one on the truck either. it's pretty weird. he's probably freaked out by all the people.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:18 (twenty years ago) link

borrrring.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:20 (twenty years ago) link

instigate something. it's your duty as a journalist.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:21 (twenty years ago) link

Do you have a BB gun?

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:23 (twenty years ago) link

Why don't you shout out to him casually. "Hey! What's up?"

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:25 (twenty years ago) link

you should play charades with him.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

or "Hey, I put you on the internet! You're famous! You're Low Roof Man!"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

Why doesn't somebody just sneak up behind him and yell "boo" and get this shit over with, god.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

He kinda looks like David Blaine...

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:27 (twenty years ago) link

ask him what his favorite star wars movie is, or something.

"dude! do you watch 'ER' anymore? what do you think!?"

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:29 (twenty years ago) link

if i weren't at work, i'd photoshop various hats on him! ooh that'd be pleasant!

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:30 (twenty years ago) link

Dean = Ed Grimley

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:31 (twenty years ago) link

I'd turn him into an animated GIF with a MIDI of The Ketchup Song playing.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:32 (twenty years ago) link

New picture! I feel lost now...

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

This just in:

http://hot.ee/runescape3d/suicide.gif

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:39 (twenty years ago) link

JaXon, do you have a loud stereo and a copy of "Jump" by Kris Kross?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:46 (twenty years ago) link

hey looky me!

― JaXon's post at 11:59 AM (gygax!), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

that's been addressed upthread.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

But he still didn't answer the question!

― Sulky Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:51 (twenty years ago) link

i'll take his silence to mean "yes i have the kris kross, multiple copies in fact, but no i dont have a big stereo, all i have is my little sister's my little pony boombox"

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

EVEN BETTER

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

WAYE BETTAR

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:58 (twenty years ago) link

still nothing. 12.59pm. getting bored.

i'm thinking i'm gonna jump now instead. i'm on the 6th floor. it'll totally take the pressure off of him.

May, i kiss thee. great picture

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:04 (twenty years ago) link

weak, call him a pussy.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:05 (twenty years ago) link

sfpd blowz. if that bum had a bag of fajitas, those cops would've been all over him by now.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:05 (twenty years ago) link

Spiderman could fix this.

― Hunter (Hunter), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:11 (twenty years ago) link

"Put down the bag of fajitas. I repeat: put DOWN the bag of fajitas."

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:15 (twenty years ago) link

So what is the latest skinny on Fajitagate anyway?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:33 (twenty years ago) link

this whole thread is a little offputting, but i think that "freaked" pic could net you something, call the papers.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

if they ask if you've leaked it already, lie.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

more like boring.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

i mean, we've already left the realm of ethical behavior here.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

Sell it! I once got $25 for lending BAM magazine Dave Navarro's 8th grade yearbook photo. The world is yours.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

OK I'm bored by this, did he jump yet or what?

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 21:41 (twenty years ago) link

i'll even be satisfied if someone just cuts him out of one of these pictures and puts him on the ground. seriously. add some blood too.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

yeah unless he bails, the photos aren't worth a thing.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 127 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

there's someone across my (new) house threatening to jump again.

firetrucks have blocked off the whole street. i even saw a cop w/a shotgun!

― (jaxon) ( .) ( .) (jaxon), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 01:12 (fifteen years ago) link

There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to jump all night!

wouldn't he get tired?

― totally dude (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 01:48 (fifteen years ago) link

I rewatched Best in Show on Sunday and I forgot the guy whose job was talking people down from suicides. "They always jump." Later his son's on the roof & he's yelling things at the kid like "I will shove my thumb in your eyeball until it's jelly!" OH MY GOD the laughs.

― test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees (Abbott), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 03:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Jumpers never make the news.

I think these things aren't usually published to prevent copycat suicides, which are a sad but true thing.

― test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees (Abbott), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 03:54 (fifteen years ago) link

There was a guy in Manchester (UK) quite a few years ago on top of department store threatening to jump. The crowds were treating it like a day out, shouting jump and laughing. Quite a bizarre moment really 1st time you see it.

jaxon, maybe it’s a sign, maybe you have to dedicate your life to save jumpers?

― not_goodwin, Wednesday, 13 May 2009 07:50 (fifteen years ago) link

i even saw a cop w/a shotgun!

What's the thinking there? Don't jump or we'll shoot?

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 13 May 2009 08:39 (fifteen years ago) link

That's the plot of an episode of Sledgehammer!, isn't it?

― dada wouldn't buy me a bauhaus (aldo), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 08:48 (fifteen years ago) link

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