Do I need to call an exorcist for my girlfriend?

Fuck yeah I married her ; )

awesome :)

moley to thread: tell me who i'm gonna end up married to!

this thread is so cute. your wife sounds rad, hurting!

I can totally understand the concept now. What a difference two years makes.

Ha, I used to do something like this. My dad would sometimes pass room at night and find me sitting up in bed, eyes open with a crazed grin on my face. He'd tell me to lie down and go back to sleep and I would.

I also had a habit of laughing in my sleep. I guess it runs in the family because I've heard my little brother do it. It's both adorable and creepy.

I am glad there's a witness to the poofiness! P was getting overlooked for real.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that a couple of weeks ago she woke up and said, "Mar Mar Mar...SHMAR!" She then told me, "That's what the kids say."

Well, didn't really *wake up* obv

Har Mar Supershmar?

Mar Mar Mar...SHMAR!" She then told me, "That's what the kids say."

"Cloning. Lots of it."

awesome

never let this woman go

For a minute I really thought that her Bronx first graders had started saying "mar mar mar...shmar!"

Haha I'm gonna get killed for this if he reads it, but my bf is a notorious sleep talker (and sleep um.. other things but lets not go there). The other night we'd dozed off while Aphex was still on the stereo in the other room and, thinking he was still half awake, I mumbled we should maybe turn it off and sleep properly.

He then proceeded to grab his shirt and try to put his feet through it like it was a pair of pants. He kept at it for some time while I giggled and said "wtf are you doing, thats a shirt not your pants", and he just got frustrated and kept trying. Eventually he gave up and put the shirt on properly, but then told me it was like a metaphor, or something equally nonsensical as an explanation. When I said I still didnt get wtf he was on about he goes "oh this is so frustrating! *sigh!*" and went back to sleep. Tee hee.

omg abbott to thread.

i have also done weird shit in my sleep, but i don't think i hold a candle to my friend jeff, who is a sometime ilxor, so i'll let him tell you himself if he wants to.

This sounds like the beginning of a Twilight Zone episode about a record producer with an uncanny ability to uncover new sounds that the kids will like.
(multi xpost)

jackballs.

I don't think I can compete with the crocfarmer/hogbutcher tmi/cio tag team so I'm out.

oh god i'm going to MISS HIM!

Hahaha kenan I have woken my boyfriend up by SCREAMING random shit and jumping out of bed. As you know. But I don't think I ever mentioned the v endearing thing he did once in his sleep: he started by doing this rapid air smooching, like kissing the air ultra fast 30 times in as many seconds. Then he started making these sweet, satisfied sounding descending pitches: "Hu-um, hah-hum, ha-hum, hmm-um," and then the same thing an octave higher: he did like a whole scale of them & started over!

i want to watch a youtube video of that so bad

I ran really fast out of bed once at 3 am or so, expecting to see a Christmas tree and stockings and gifts. But there weren't any. I was so baffled. Where did they all go? What were we going to do for Christmas morning?

It turns out it was MARCH. I was 22 at the time.

one of the reasons you rock: you go TOTALLY FUCKING NUTS every night in your sleep.

YOU'RE ON THE LOOSE WIG!

Me? Or the generic "you" as in 'you guys' or 'the human race'?

My dad has a lot of dreams about Saved By The Bell! Seriously, talking about dreams with him is like getting crap fanfic read out loud.

the loose wig

That is the best fucking thing I've ever heard!

a friend of mine from work takes zombie movies too seriously and has had dreams that her mom tried to eat her...

nowhere near as cool as what you guys are talking about but blah....

That is the best fucking thing I've ever heard!

There's a whole record. Del Close. Allegedly one of Brian Wilson's favorites. I'll sendspace it to you.

I only go nuts if I fall asleep sitting up

abbott, check yr email

I got woken up the other night by some sleep talk, the end of which which went like this:

He: (impatiently) "What if we have to wait an HOUR for him to play?!"

Me: "Who?"

He: "Rivers Cuomo!"

My ex-boyfriend slept through alarms all the time. Once ours went off and he said "Are they serving breakfast?" "Who?" I replied. "The Rice Krispy company." "I doubt it," I said. "Well, why did they wake me up so early?"

BAHAHAHA wow!

They are the only two guys I've dated who talk in their sleep. A good way to encourage it is to ask them nonsense questions while they're drifting off. If they catch you, you can pretend you're talking in your sleep yourself. I love sleep talk!

The guy I am currently with spouted once off a long string of unrelated words (earlier that same Rivers Cuomo night, actually!), and he acted really adamant about whatever he thought he was saying, and grabbed my arm really firmly. It was complete nonsense, definitely not a sentence. All nouns.

My youngest sister always talks in her sleep (and sometimes sleepwalks). When she was very young they all sounded like The Incredible Journey-style adventures:

"We have to get the rabbits over the mountain"

"We can't let the cookies fight with the onion"

"I can't put that many squirrels in my backpack. I can't help feed them all."

omg leave the poor squirrels alone, abbiesister, i'm sure they'll be fine

but lord knows maybe they were on mars and there were no trees

I talk in my sleep. I also once, allegedly, had loud sex dream about female friend my then gf DESPISED.

I really wouldn't recommend that to anyone in a relationship. "What did I say? Oh....right. Yeah I'd be annoyed too. I didn't mean to though. I mean I was asleep. I don't actually like her in that way".

I had a girlfriend who was pissed at me for a whole day because apparently she had a dream in which I was mean to her..

It's YOUR dream psycho...

my ex used to have loads of dreams that i was cheating on him, and dreams about being forced to watch me have orgies with like 5 guys. he'd wake up really upset and be weird with me the whole day.

talk about projection - it turned out he'd actually cheated on me.

like kissing the air ultra fast 30 times in as many seconds

Apparently (according to my ex-girlfriend) I did things like this quite a bit. Once I also sat up in bed yelling "BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! ... eric ... vellum."

So I wonder what causes the rapid repetition thing.

God, my dreams are SOOOOO boring recently. Is it a sign of getting old? I haven't even had sex in a dream for about two years. I'm usually shopping or something. I wish I woke up babbling or something.

I've been known to sit up with a start yelling "--aaaat the fuck!"

I famously woke my gf up one night with by groping around the bed. She wakes up and asks what I'm looking for: "Dammit Niki, it's the Cinnabons, isn't it?"

ruby's last post = whoa nelly, call the head doctor on this dude

i dumped his ass (eventually) instead. believe me - the crazy dreams were just the tip of his insane iceberg!

xpost to myself unless you were somehow dropping hints that you were unhappy with him and what you REALLY wanted was a 5-dude gangbang while he was strapped into a clockwork-orange-like apparatus. That seems a whole lot less likely than him just having MASSIVE issues that not even years of therapy have taught me handy names for.

xpost good girl, that's bad news, right there

i mean, the words for that kind of nuts you don't hear in therapy, you hear on episodes of Law & Order and CSI, know what I mean?

oh yes, i do know what you mean.

OMG, I can't believe I never posted about the time she sat up and said

"BLIMPS...with the EYES"

She's entered a hellish realm and has met some now deceased Australian National Party politicians.

Probably my favourite ILX thread, the phrases "did the envelope pengalope" and "is there bingling", will never leave me.

the fibonacci sequence is my fav

Days when i wonder whether i need to summon a demon for my wife but that's another thread

ive a couple sleep-talking stories i hadn't recounted itt

my ex-wife, still sleeping, once woke me up at about 6am to ask me "can i taunt (sic) you to a chicken pizza?"

my friend jonny, sleeping in a travel lodge while the rest of us were still awake from all the drugs, turned over in bed, sat up, and shouted "Kelly Clarkson".

didn't sleep talk, and i never have night terrors, but a few times in dreams where it appears i'm going to get stung, bitten, etc by an animal (which happens a lot), i've actually thrown myself out of bed.

one of these times i was dreaming I was fleeing a shitload of bees (enough to kill me) and I was jumping into the water to escape them and in the process I actually rolled out of my bed and faceplanted my cheek onto the oak dresser next to me, woke up bleeding.

I'd forgotten about B being sad about catbus leaving the bed, hahahaa.

B, in his sleep: “I think I’m going to go lie down now”.