Real England

what lovely feet you have NV

shaving them is quite difficult

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/420602_165418990234694_2036380287_n.jpg

here's some photos I took years ago during my first summer holiday home from london...pretty 'real' I think
http://autumningothenburg.blogspot.co.uk/2009/08/home-sweet-home.html

You Real England smalltowns which actually have railway stations, you don't know how good you have it. Or maybe the areas which got thoroughly Beechinged are insufficiently Real for this thread.

(Enjoyed the photos btw.)

it would be nice to think pointy men's shoes were a dispiriting vulgarity contained only to england

The street with 18 betting shops

THE MUSIC ROOM CREW

Then: You ever sit down and wonder who actually likes Muse? Or Biffy Clyro? Or John Frusciante? Well, consider that every school in the country has at least three guys who wear Fender T-shirts and spend their lunch breaks arguing about the correct way to play the "Under The Bridge" intro. And that there's, well – I dunno – a lot of schools in the UK, and you begin to understand these bands' popularity. At first, I wasn't sure they were still a "thing", but then I looked at the line-up for Reading this year and instantly realised that these young men were still ploughing their own furrow. Still got love for Flea, still not loving electronic beats.

Now: Unsurprisingly, in this troublesome economic climate, it seems most of them are still refusing to give up the snuggly world of education; still enrolled in various obscure universities (Buckinghamshire New, Anglia Ruskin, Glyndŵr) doing studies in obscure technical bullshit (RPG Design, Turf Technology, Josh Homme studies). They all grew wavy ponytails, started Reddit accounts and became the "rock" guys you see in every Wetherspoons; studded wristbands, 3/4 length pleather jackets, talking about UKIP and dragons.

They resent fashion in all its forms; every T-shirt has to refer to something else, be it a band or a Red Dwarf character. The strange thing about this particular subculture is that it doesn't seem to be something that people grow out of. We've all had our stages with different scenes, but mostly they're just fleeting obsessions with a rebel ideal. For guys like this, it seems to be more of a long-term lifestyle choice – a monastic vow of uncool.

that is c&ped from a mostly not very good article on vice.com but anyway

one night recently after missing the last train back from a suburban London town of debatable realness I ended up at the only place where drinking could be prolonged, a night at the local rock club. It was remarkable, exactly the same as it would have been in 2001 except everybody's a bit fatter and a bit balder and a lot more empty inside.

rock club people always seem reasonably affable to me except odd one with genuine booze/drugs/mental health issues

Saturday
Reading
24th August

EMINEM
Chase and Status
Foals
White Lies
Brand New
Twin Atlantic
The Blackout
Lower Than Atlantis
Mallory Knox

i only know three of those and one of them is from an ilx thread clowning a bbc sound of 201x thread

and one of the others is eminem

i think i know the same 3 as you and i only know what 1 and a half of them sound like

Mallory Knox sounds like a short lived US detective show from the 90s

rock club people always seem reasonably affable to me except odd one with genuine booze/drugs/mental health issues

the rock dudes in my old market town (7,000 people) were good guys who would seek out and stand up for the other youngish oddballs and misfits in town - as a mere badly dressed indie geek I felt honoured to tag along with this ragtag bunch of metallers + eastern Europeans + about half of the very few non-white people in town

then you go to the rock pub in the nearest 100k town (except you don't in the one I'm thinking of / living in now, because it's closed down) and the bar staff all completely blank anyone not in the exact same regulation leathers, band shirt and haircut as everyone else there. and everyone there would be white, since I brought up race in the first paragraph.

speaking of white I think I first heard of White Lies in the same month as another White Something band and now I can't remember if I used to like them or if I'm thinking of someone else

Yes. ^

http://www.nickelinthemachine.com/2009/07/petticoat-lane-market-and-ras-prince-monolulu/

After hearing the religious revivalist Gypsy Daniels attracting crowds with his shout of ‘I've got heaven’, Monolulu adopted his own slogan ‘I've gotta horse’, sometimes alternating with ‘Black man for luck’.

http://www.oxforddnb.com/templates/article.jsp?articleid=76829&back=

[Jeffrey] Bernard had brought with him a box of Black Magic chocolates and offered the famous tipster a ‘strawberry cream’. Unfortunately, Monolulu started to fatally choke on the chocolate. Bernard backed out of the ward bidding farewell.

xp if I express my disappointment at that not being a website dedicated to Oxford drum'n'bass I won't be veering off topic right

There were some great photos on that link earlier, particularly the one where it looks like Hendrix has stepped out of the tardis at the 1923 Epsom Derby. They're gone now, must have been some copyright issue.

ignore I clicked on the wrong link.

I once saw a guy do the whole of "Star Trekkin'" by the Firm pitch-perfectly in a karaoke bar in Ilfracombe, Devonshire.

― Pingu Unchained (dog latin), Thursday, 27 June 2013 13:02 (1 hour ago)

Accidental Partridge is thataway

How Rupert Grint became a £13million property wizard: Harry Potter star, 24, magics up a huge portfolio of houses
    Harry Potter star sets up new company Eevil Plan Properties
    Rupert Grint, 24, has a £12.9million property portfolio in Herfordshire
    Includes his own £5.4million mansion and his parents' boutique hotel

http://i.imgur.com/D0zUHgJ.jpg

http://www.kckrs.com/wp-content/uploads/A5_BU9zCUAEuDMj.jpg

is this real or

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/robbie-williams-concert-fight-sickening-2021035

it's amazing anybody can have anger in their bones after an evening of support act Olly Murs and great pop songs from the 90s and 00s done badly

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/50126000/jpg/_50126108_-7.jpg

haha yes

http://i.imgur.com/N8TR122.png

omg weather pic

I sniggered at this standard xenophobic thread title on a football message board: "Hope Andy batters the pole now."

The Camerons - along with their children Nancy, Arthur and Florence - shared a private lunch with the estate’s owners before heading to the main arena at the festival.

The Conservative leader was then seen admiring a stall of colourful tutus with eldest daughter Nancy before the family were whisked away from the festival’s campsite.

The festival boasts music across four stages and also has an exclusive VIP area.

On the festival’s website, the 'eclectic and eccentric' event is described as a 'dynamic summer festival disguised as a country fayre - a lovingly crafted, top notch, very English open air party, tailor-made for the whole family'.

The site adds: 'Like the best of England, Cornbury is eccentric, charming and irresistible - a homespun melting pot where music-lovers share pies and a glass of champagne with superstars, toffs, rockers, crooners, Morris dancers, farmers, urbanites, fashionistas, gourmet chefs and the little old ladies who make exceptional cakes.'

http://i4.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/incoming/article4310872.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/3-Dale-Cregan-4310872.jpg

ws of shame

Haha on my way back from Cornbury. Will report later.

Was in the exclusive VIP area, saw Clarkson and Alan Davies there.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8475/8124223488_d4009237aa_z.jpg
http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4026/4686074900_9d72e8b3ce_z.jpg
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8392/8643551935_edbb979921_z.jpg
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2232/1870487492_c799da1458_z.jpg

RFI: micro-item in this week's NME about David Cameron and Jeremy Clarkson watching HMHB perform at the Cornbury Festival, whatever that is

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 16 July 2008 17:04 (4 years ago)

I hadn't really heard of Cornbury Festival before. My gf got press tickets for it + presented it to me as a good thing to do with the kids, so I agreed a few months ago without investigating beyond a glance at the suspiciously boring line-up. As this weekend approached & I found out more, I realised I was going to a music festival for Tories & that there were no bands I actively wanted to see. Obvs the 'right thing to do' was smile & take one for the team & find something to enjoy, but I had been doing that several weekends running & I am selfish. I came up with various plans as Cornbury approached, mostly involving finding and taking hallucinogens and walking into the Oxon. countryside on my own, or hide in tent and read about the Great Tew Circle (since festival is actually at Great Tew) (it was too hot to do this).

On arrival, I realised that I was in a Real England zone, and thought about this thread.

Did my best to 'be present', but I was drifting off even by the appearance of Imelda May (who has played 8/10 Cornburies) and my dislike of that monied Cotswold world was too clear. I quietly pointed out that it was unusual for a festival to be sponsored by an estate agent (Savills), which provoked a blazing row with my girlfriend, right before Beverley Knight. We more or less reconciled, but agreed I had to sort myself out. The next day, I went – without hallucinogens – for a long walk to the Rollright Stones. It was fun: Range Rover twee of those villages; dream-idyll country lanes; friendly yokels who could not comprehend that I had not driven to see the stones; finding a fawn with its neck broken as I was making my way along the pathless verge of the A44 (then almost getting killed by an Ocado van myself); stinking out a farm shop/tea room gas centre w/ my foul and sweating body (I think I saw a chef laughing at me); crossing wheatfields, still green, with massive mobile masts at their edge; a miscalculated route that meant I was still miles away from the festival, & was waterless, sunburnt, dying in the heat when two little old ladies from Woodstock who were stewarding the festival and had popped out to find copies of the Oxford Mail (forgetting it was Saturday) stopped to pick me up (I wasn't hitching; they were just being kind, thoughtful) and brought me to the gates. I drank water, then beer, made proper peace with my girlfriend, then went to see Echo and the Bunnymen. I imagine Cameron was there somewhere too.

I don't really want to rant but it's a terrible festival to me. I mean I really don't enjoy the 'do the hits, like they are on the record, and make sure there's a bit where we get to sing along' atmosphere at this sort of thing & even for the smaller acts I can't really be among tanned Cotswold dads listlessly applauding The Silver Seas. It does something bad to me.

Actual best thing: Wilko Johnson.

This has only been a bit of a real England post.

sounds like living through A Field in England without the comfort of being a spectator

Good old Beverley Knight.

I felt really sociopathic for enjoying her set tremendously, despite the destructive + difficult argument I'd just had.

finding a fawn with its neck broken as I was making my way along the pathless verge of the A44 (then almost getting killed by an Ocado van myself)

this is going beyond real into the realm of contrivance, nothing could be that real

ha, was just scrolling down to c/p that part - mental image of a mutant Ocado van roaming the Oxford countryside running things over

A career criminal who committed his first theft during World War II and has spent 50 of the past 56 years in prison was back behind bars today – aged 75.

Dennis O’Brien is one of Britain’s longest serving criminals and boasts 35 convictions for 70 crimes since he was caught stealing aged nine years old in 1945.

The petty criminal, who is described by fellow lags as ”a bit of a rascal”, has been locked up 13 times for burglary, forgery, arson and handling stolen goods