nothing like this ever happens to me
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Monday, 23 February 2009 17:59 (fifteen years ago) link
Howie knows a lot of animal names but always calls a cat "Miaow", even though he can spell the word. Hence the following conversation:
Us: "Howie, what's the first letter of cat?"Howie: "C!""And what's the second letter of cat?""A!""And what's the last letter of cat?""T!""[Pointing to letters in book] So, what does 'C-A-T' spell, Howie?""[Thinks for a moment...} Miaow!"
― Meg (Meg Busset), Monday, 23 February 2009 23:28 (fifteen years ago) link
my nearly 12-week-old has been babbling non-stop. it's such a nice change from shrieking.
― Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:17 (fifteen years ago) link
(Apologies if I've already told this story on ILX, can't remember)
A few weeks ago, Ava was being extremely naughty, pushing Pam away, shouting "Don't talk to me! Don't look at me!", etc. Pam wrote down "Naughty girls don't get visits from their friends or treats or get to go to the park" on a slip of paper and handed it to the noncommunicative hell-child.
Ava read it out loud, looked at the paper for a few seconds and then announced, "I'm going to tear this into tiny pieces." It was all Pam could do not to burst out laughing right there...
― Michael Jones, Saturday, 28 February 2009 21:25 (fifteen years ago) link
haa :)
― ice cr?m, Sunday, 1 March 2009 00:26 (fifteen years ago) link
this morning: "there are so many things in this room, it's like an optical course"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Sunday, 1 March 2009 00:46 (fifteen years ago) link
SS, that's the cutest thing ever! Ophelia requests all my music to stop playing so she can listen to her music. Grrr. Elisabeth loves most music we play. This morning she immediately started waving her hand when Marvin Gaye started singing. She also looooves Pulsinger.
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Sunday, 1 March 2009 13:30 (fifteen years ago) link
its still so weird to me these little creatures have already developed their own tastes. that silver jews moment was a rare one. usually she'll sit there going 'wonderpets? wonderpets? wonderpets? wonderpets? brobie? wonderpets? wonderpets? wonderpets? wonderpets? wonderpets? " etc until we put it on.
― quadratrillionaire (sunny successor), Sunday, 1 March 2009 14:04 (fifteen years ago) link
nickelodeon brainwash
she found a tampon and asked what it was. i mumbled her mommy bleeds every month and that it stops the bleeding.
"so mommy leaks."
uh yeah, i guess....
― the tip of the tongue taking a trip tralalala (stevienixed), Friday, 6 March 2009 22:33 (fifteen years ago) link
Edward, I'm amazed. That's amazing.
― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Friday, 6 March 2009 22:41 (fifteen years ago) link
We remembered another one from our son a few years back, when he was 2-ish: out of the blue one day, he asked "why we is not ducks?". I didn't know what to say. Really, why? The mind boggles.
― Euler, Saturday, 7 March 2009 01:56 (fifteen years ago) link
My friend did this facebook thing earlier where she had to ask her kids a series of questions about herself and write in their answers. Her sons are around 6 and 4, I think.
Q: How tall is your Mom?
A: "15 degrees" -Ben "Probably 10 inches high" -Zac
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Saturday, 7 March 2009 04:50 (fifteen years ago) link
i seriously can't get over "15 degrees"
― been HOOS, where yyyou steene!? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Saturday, 7 March 2009 05:02 (fifteen years ago) link
I know, I love it.
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Saturday, 7 March 2009 05:03 (fifteen years ago) link
I showed Beeps a full page face ad of Gisele Bündchen in the lastest issure of Glamour and asked 'who is that?' She replied 'Mama!' Damn straight.
― quadratrillionaire (sunny successor), Sunday, 8 March 2009 03:30 (fifteen years ago) link
keep that one around!
― yur twit (tehresa), Sunday, 8 March 2009 03:35 (fifteen years ago) link
hopefully her eyesight will never improve
― quadratrillionaire (sunny successor), Sunday, 8 March 2009 03:37 (fifteen years ago) link
Howie does that when we read the book 'Terrible Trolls' -- points at them and says "Mummy! Daddy!"
I will have to send him round to Beeps for some training.
― Meg (Meg Busset), Sunday, 8 March 2009 13:02 (fifteen years ago) link
A keeper! :-)
― the tip of the tongue taking a trip tralalala (stevienixed), Monday, 9 March 2009 14:19 (fifteen years ago) link
z (4-yr-old) industriously constructing puzzle on the floor, while rex (11 mos.) repeatedly crawls through it, picks up pieces, sticks them in his mouth, etc. z fairly patiently nudges rex away two or three times, says "no, rex," but on about the 4th time, in exasperation, he yelps, "DAMMIT REX!"
― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Monday, 16 March 2009 23:50 (fifteen years ago) link
kids swearing: classic. One of my kids didn't really understand what the word dammit was, so he'd say, "debit", as in "debit card", which got us off the hook with my mother-in-law.
― Euler, Tuesday, 17 March 2009 00:27 (fifteen years ago) link
― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Monday, March 16, 2009 6:50 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark
ok so this is the funniest/cuetest thing i have read in a while
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, 17 March 2009 02:01 (fifteen years ago) link
Agreed. That's so cute.
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 17 March 2009 12:37 (fifteen years ago) link
it cracked us up. but i guess we need to do some policing of it before he gets to kindergarten.
― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 17 March 2009 17:08 (fifteen years ago) link
Apparently in kindergarten I referred to a toy car as "that goddamn son of a bitch". Wasn't mad, that's just what I called it.
― WmC, Tuesday, 17 March 2009 17:14 (fifteen years ago) link
i once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, 17 March 2009 21:54 (fifteen years ago) link
^ That is awesome.
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 17 March 2009 22:51 (fifteen years ago) link
ha i once came home from school in 1st or 2nd grade and told my parents "the bus driver is an asshole" not really knowing what that meant :-/
― HHooHHHooHH-oob (harbl), Tuesday, 17 March 2009 22:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Alice has been known to bang her fist on the table and yell 'dammit!' but I strongly suspect her dad has been coaching her for his own amusement. Though come to think of it she's also started a thing of regularly shouting 'it's a deal!' and shaking hands with us. Clearly a future CEO :(
― Archel, Thursday, 19 March 2009 09:36 (fifteen years ago) link
OK, heree goez:
In Venice, back at the flat, playing whist:
Mum: "Hearts!"Alice: (Oh, fuMMMFTH)
The sound of Alice slapping her hand over her mouth, too late.She got embarrassed, we just laffed. (She was 8)
― Mark G, Monday, 23 March 2009 14:02 (fifteen years ago) link
Future son‘s latest thing is fighting to stay awake when he has something that he wants to do, then giving in immediately when he realizes he can’t do that thing.
Two days ago, we were driving home from an event, with plans to go play outside, when it started raining:FS: It’s rainingMe: Yeah. I’m sorry, buddy. Looks like we won’t be able to play in the yard.FS: Awww….snores
Last night:Me (turning off TV): Well, it’s time to snuggie-down.FS: But Scooby-Doo’s almost on.Me: Sorry, buddy: it’s late.FS (within 20 seconds): snores
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 31 March 2009 20:32 (fourteen years ago) link
Ava's two-part exploration of Bossness, with special reference to World Poverty.
Last night - "Sometimes little children can be the boss. You get to be the boss sometimes, Daddy, but kids can be the boss too. Sit down over here next to me for a DISCUSSION."Tonight -"Some people don't ever get to be the boss. Some people don't have any food or clothes or medicine. They just cough."
― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 31 March 2009 21:39 (fourteen years ago) link
LOL.
RS's co-worker's husband let their 4 year old watch Austin Powers last week after which said to her, "Mom, you're kind of a lot like fat bastard." !!!
― ENBB, Tuesday, 31 March 2009 22:12 (fourteen years ago) link
We let ours (4 also) watch Gremlins a few weeks ago, after which he kept immitating the "flasher" Gremlin from the bar scene.
If you were thinking about letting your kids watch Gremlins, that's one of many things to note, along with Phoebe Cates breaking it down about the non-existence of Santa(this was during a boring grown-up part though, so I don't think he noticed).
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 11:31 (fourteen years ago) link
Gremlins was one of those movies that pushed the MPAA over the edge to create a PG-13 rating.
― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 1 April 2009 14:00 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah my kids so want to see gremlins but it ain't happening
re: PG-13, I always thought indiana jones and the temple of doom was the proverbial straw?
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 1 April 2009 15:38 (fourteen years ago) link
― HHooHHHooHH-oob (harbl), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 6:53 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark
a woman I work with once had this exchange with her 6 year old daughter as they were getting ready to go out
kid: where the fuck are my socks?parent: WHAT?kid: my SOCKS! where the fuck are my SOCKS!
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 1 April 2009 15:57 (fourteen years ago) link
lolz
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Wednesday, 1 April 2009 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link
Temple of Doom, Gremlins, POLTERGEIST (!!!!) were all PG movies that led to PG-13.
Beeps is getting to that age now where I'm starting to be more aware of what we're watching on TV. I was rocking her the other night and started watching "Summer of Sam". It starts with the sound of a dog barking and then moves on to show Berkowitz humping the mattress in his tighty-whities. Beeps is on her puppy kick right now, so became interested at the dog barking and by the time the scene cut to two girls sitting in a parked car, I decided that she was starting to soak a little too much in.
― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 1 April 2009 16:29 (fourteen years ago) link
It was in the check-out line at the supermarket and it had a cute little fuzzy guy on the cover. I had no idea.
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 17:24 (fourteen years ago) link
That might be a good thread idea -- "what would you warn new parents about that you learned the hard way?"
― WmC, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 17:27 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, sorry. This has gone a little off topic.
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 17:29 (fourteen years ago) link
(Without wanting to prolong the thread digression any further - Poltergeist was actually an "X" in UK on release (and the US-equivalent "R" over there); the "15" category was introduced about a year later, and Poltergeist was reassigned to that. I think Poltergeist was downgraded to PG or PG-13 on appeal in the US. I have a very specific memory of this as 14-y-o me couldn't believe that I wasn't allowed to see the new Spielberg film!)
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 23:35 (fourteen years ago) link
I saw Poltergeist at 8 years old, and couldn't do anything---anything---alone for almost a year. If I ever go to therapy, I'm sure Poltergeist will be a chief topic.
My kids, the oldest of whom is 8, is afraid of The Little Mermaid, so we won't make the same mistake my parents did.
― Euler, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 23:50 (fourteen years ago) link
more on topic: today my youngest (age 2) blathered something angrily at lunch that she punctuated with something that sounded like "dammit". My wife said, well, she knows how to use her "dangit". My daughter then blurted, "I didn't say dangit, I said dammit" and emphasized a few more times the "mmm" in "dammit" to make sure we understood her.
Great.
― Euler, Wednesday, 1 April 2009 23:52 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah I think I was 9 or 10 when I saw poltergeist which makes me think it must have been a G or M but my dad also took me to texas chainsaw massacre when i was a year or so younger and that was definitely rated R
― I wish I was the royal trux (sunny successor), Thursday, 2 April 2009 02:30 (fourteen years ago) link
(M in australia meaning anyone can get in but its recommended for 16(?) and over)
― I wish I was the royal trux (sunny successor), Thursday, 2 April 2009 02:31 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.impawards.com/1982/posters/poltergeist.jpg
^^ With the PG Rating...
― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 2 April 2009 03:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Wouldn't it just be something if we all watched Poltergeist again and realize that it wasn't really that bad?
― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 2 April 2009 03:54 (fourteen years ago) link
Those poems are both amazing!!!My daughter now 11 burned through many Percy Jackson books a few years ago. I read the first one aloud with her and wasn’t impressed. I found both the writing and the character depth to be a cut below most of the oodles of other kids’ fantasy series we’ve read. I imagine as you get deeper into it you get invested, it’s a pretty big extended universe, but I would agree that 7 is young. They’re violent.
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 24 January 2024 17:30 (two months ago) link
yeah. the writer has a "presents" series of other mythological stories and one sounded good and was supposed to be ok for younger, called Race to the Sun. It was actually pretty violent and scary at times but she was never bothered by it.
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 24 January 2024 17:36 (two months ago) link
"Why does goofy talk but pluto doesn't?" made my brain explode, I love that so so much. Very New York school, which obv makes sense ;-)
― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 23:44 (two months ago) link
awesome poems!
― kinder, Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:57 (two months ago) link
tired kid got in a shit tonight about having to turn his light out before finishing his book. after about 10 minutes in bed he came down to where we were watching TV and said "I'm going to say ten words including these ones. Sorry." then disappeared to bed again.
― kinder, Friday, 2 February 2024 20:53 (one month ago) link
That's brilliant.
― Kim Kimberly, Friday, 2 February 2024 20:55 (one month ago) link
whoa!
― peace, man, Saturday, 3 February 2024 12:31 (one month ago) link
5yo"don't think about telling mom i went in the store without a coat"" ... ""YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IT"
― maf you one two (maffew12), Sunday, 11 February 2024 19:28 (one month ago) link
Opal wrote and drew a valentines day car, with an image of a Dachshund. It says "We Be-long together".
When she recites it she puts a lot of emphasis on LONG. Then says "get it?"
Then she asked me what melancholy meant after it was mentioned in Through the Looking Glass which I'm reading to her every night. After explaining it (more or less) she said I can remember that because watermelon is great and cauliflower isn't and if you put them together it's gross and that would make me sad.
Then she came up with an as-yet drawn valentine card that would be a drawing of a slice of watermelon saying "I would be MELON-choly without you"
Emphasis on MELON obviously.
I told her we should go into business making cards and I suddenly regret selling all of my letterpress equipment.
― dan selzer, Sunday, 11 February 2024 22:27 (one month ago) link
aw
― peace, man, Sunday, 11 February 2024 23:43 (one month ago) link
melon cauli is an awesome concept
― kinder, Monday, 12 February 2024 13:03 (one month ago) link
My younger kid asked the question every parent dreads:“Daddy, why did they take the ‘HBO’ out of HBO Max?”
― atmospheric river phoenix (morrisp), Friday, 16 February 2024 02:02 (one month ago) link
Time for the talk
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 16 February 2024 02:20 (one month ago) link
A question a child might ask, but not a childish question
― Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Friday, 16 February 2024 02:37 (one month ago) link
Today she asked my wife — “Mommy, what is ‘Robert Lowe’ famous for?”
― Bison UpChg (morrisp), Monday, 19 February 2024 02:30 (one month ago) link
My older kid asked me what a “mosh pit” is, which I thought was pretty funny.
― Sony's Sports Walkman Universe (morrisp), Friday, 23 February 2024 04:17 (one month ago) link
it’s like a ball pit made of people
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 23 February 2024 06:05 (one month ago) link
Absolutely full of germs.
― Madchen, Friday, 23 February 2024 07:30 (one month ago) link
“Why do psychopaths have such a bad reputation?”
― Sony's Sports Walkman Universe (morrisp), Thursday, 29 February 2024 21:58 (four weeks ago) link
Lol, is that promoted by the press campaign around this book (and perhaps this very interview)?https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/02/25/magazine/patric-gagne-interview.html
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 29 February 2024 22:40 (four weeks ago) link
lol
― A street taco cart named Des'ree (Deflatormouse), Thursday, 29 February 2024 22:41 (four weeks ago) link
wow, some very sophisticated abstract wordplay by Opal
― A street taco cart named Des'ree (Deflatormouse), Thursday, 29 February 2024 22:43 (four weeks ago) link
She hasn't stopped. She keeps writing poems. She wrote one for school that said "inspired by Dr Seuss" and is like "I do like tacos on a boat..."
My wife is having her book launch party at NY bookstore P&T Knitwear and apparently Opal is going to read the above poem about poems. I think it's likely she'll freeze and back out but we'll have to see.
― dan selzer, Friday, 1 March 2024 04:44 (three weeks ago) link
my 9 year old son is really into sports leagues and stuff. whenever he does 'creative' projects it's making tournament brackets or organizing teams into divisions and stuff like that. we have this little baseball game and he wants to make a tournament to replicate the actual MLB playoffs. he also uses his little Chromebook for this stuff (there are online scoreboard apps and such). anyway recently he stumbled upon some website which sells software used for scheduling for businesses, which has a promo image that looks a bit like a baseball schedule. apparently he input his email address into the "find out more!" box (Chromebooks accounts have to have a gmail address) and now a sales rep is contacting him. he is writing back telling him about his baseball league using all these long run-on sentences, as kids do. but this dude keeps responding to him. he even knows his name - Andy. he got home from school yesterday and had to check if Andy wrote back to him. I wonder if this guy thinks he's talking to a kid or an elderly person. either way my son thinks he made a new friend!
― frogbs, Friday, 8 March 2024 15:49 (two weeks ago) link
amazing
― dan selzer, Friday, 8 March 2024 16:14 (two weeks ago) link
Opal's latest poem, a birthday card for her best friend Peter, who's birthday is the day after hers...
"When I'm in need your always there. Your always kind and you always share.You have lots of trick up your sleeves.We work together just like branches and leavs.When we are together we are one of a kind, no catagory.When we are together we have a crown of glory!This is the end of this poem, but before we drop the curtan,When we are together, nothings for certain!It's the end but still the start.I want you to know your always part of my heart."
― dan selzer, Friday, 8 March 2024 16:17 (two weeks ago) link
omg these last 2 posts are both amazing ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Opal rules at poetry!
― A street taco cart named Des'ree (Deflatormouse), Friday, 8 March 2024 17:37 (two weeks ago) link
book deal pls stat
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 8 March 2024 20:49 (two weeks ago) link
last night during dinner Opal was talking about what our lives must've been like before we were born and she said "You spend all your time sitting on the couch reading a book called 'The Meaning of the Word Sad'" and after we cracked up at that she said "and a book called 'I'm Blue, What Should I Do?"
― dan selzer, Saturday, 9 March 2024 12:28 (two weeks ago) link
my kid's been into video games since he was 5 (thank you pandemic) but he's getting to the point where he wants to go beyond Mario stuff. the kids in his class are really into Fortnite and Minecraft and I don't really want him to be into that sort of stuff just yet. he does love sports though and gets really excited about sports arcade games so I was telling him about Madden. and he nodded his head and said "oh so it's like Linebacker Alley 2!!"
― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 March 2024 03:10 (two weeks ago) link
"You spend all your time sitting on the couch reading a book called 'The Meaning of the Word Sad'"
this is amazing and hilarious
― Kim Kimberly, Wednesday, 13 March 2024 03:46 (two weeks ago) link