shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

looooool

http://deadspin.com/marshawn-lynch-had-no-idea-buffalo-was-not-in-new-york-1454884873

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/08/27/researchers-take-on-crucial-question-are-haters-gonna-hate/

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/scrooge-an-economic-hero-defenders-say-1.1161205

I bet Ward Sutton was aware of that.

David N. Mayer, professor of law and history at Capital University Law School in Ohio

Nelson Mandela lookalike struggles to come to terms with hero's death

children-evacuated-from-swimming-pool-after-prosthetic-leg-mistaken-for-paedophile

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/12/17/delta-airlines-is-very-sorry-it-generated-a-confirmation-code-that-read-h8gays/

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/serial-killer-fails-return-genoa-prison-21275313

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/22/sports/deadspins-tim-burke-waits-to-turn-offbeat-moments-into-gifs.html?_r=5&

― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Tuesday, October 22, 2013 11:27 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This one kills me

http://www.philly.com/philly/food/20140102_Jewish_foods__non-wheat_noodles_top_2014_trends.html

food trends in 2014 to include pickling, food trucks, "hipster Asian"

http://news.yahoo.com/kim-jong-un-fed-his-uncle-to-120-starving-dogs--report-145303810.html

fucking hell

probably bullshit but fun to think about

(report is "unconfirmed")

following up: http://www.businessinsider.com/jang-song-taeks-execution-rumors-2014-1

http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/man-charged-with-atomic-wedgie-murder-of-stepfather?ocid=ansnews11

Rad Hourani’s Adolescence Smelled Like Sperm & Baby Powder

I wanted something transformable, representing life from birth to death. The top note is baby powder mixed with the smell of sperm, but a sperm that is not necessarily vulgar or filthy. It's more a smell you can't put your finger on...Christopher [the perfumer] went as close to the sperm smell as possible and made it really elegant and beautiful.

the word you're looking for is bleach dude

Amazon to ship things before you're even thought of buying them

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57617458-71/amazon-to-ship-things-before-youve-even-thought-of-buying-them/

cool thx for the gift amazon this seems very likely and like a real thing

Bad headline. Seems to be more like "amazon considering shipping stuff to warehouses close to places they expect to sell items soon."

which would be an excellent headline and why CNET usually consults me on these things.

xp: Not bleach. Spermine is the polyamine in semen with the distictive smell - they could easily just add enough spermine (or related compounds spermidine or putrecine) to get that top note just right.

"SodaStream accused of using conflict bubbles"

http://images.dailystar-uk.co.uk/dynamic/pixfeed/covers/257x330front/2014-01-25.jpg

for the subheadline

http://thegrio.com/2014/01/12/pimp-sues-nike-for-not-warning-shoes-could-be-dangerous-if-used-to-beat-people/

nyt, sub-sub-onion, not even gonna waste teh effort to bypass the paywall

Opinion
Pastoral Icon or Woolly Menace?
By RICHARD CONNIFF

Sheep. They’re not as harmless as they seem.

http://www.salon.com/2014/01/28/radical_activist_sentenced_to_read_malcolm_gladwell/

lolololol

as onion knock-offs go this is pretty good http://the-toast.net/2014/01/29/everyone-imposter-syndrome-except/

huh, interesting that this came out a few days later; basically the same piece
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-today-the-day-they-find-out-youre-a-fraud,35133/

http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2004/2/9/hundreds-register-for-new-facebook-website/

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/02/06/272490481/taliban-release-video-of-captured-american-military-dog

http://www.splicetoday.com/pop-culture/an-embarrassment-of-nouveau-riches

http://kotaku.com/norway-mass-murderer-goes-on-hunger-strike-for-better-1522910916

Chevron apologizes for fracking well explosion with coupons for free pizza
Residents affected by the massive explosion and fire are also eligible for a 2-liter bottle of soda

haha, i was thinking about posting that one

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2014/02/chronicle_deals_with_sperm-fil.php

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/21/haters-going-to-hate-research-suggests/

ilxor.com

http://www.financialjesus.com/interesting-economics/top-10-countries-to-have-your-wallet-stolen-by-pickpockets/

Carter Too Jewish For Jewish Role

British actress HELENA BONHAM CARTER stunned director PAUL WEILAND with her Jewish accent on the set of their new movie SIXTY SIX and even had to be asked to tone down her impersonation The PLANET OF THE APES actress, who has Austrian Jewish roots, stars as social-climber ESTHER REUBEN in the British film and reveals it wasn't hard to do because of her family upbringing She says, "People always think I'm indelibly English, but actually I was brought up in Golders Green (north west London) and there's tons of Jewish blood on my mother's side " Of her role as Mrs Reuben, Carter laughs, "I was off-the-Richter-scale Jewish I sounded like MAUREEN LIPMAN (of THE PIANIST fame)!"

14 Insane Moments From RT's Coverage Of The Russian Invasion Of Ukraine
www.buzzfeed.com

"Relax, Chipotle won't stop serving guacamole because of global warming"
-LA Times

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2014/03/06/joseph_morse_the_army_s_top_sexual_assault_lawyer_accused_of_sexual_assault.html

Study finds 1 in 10 Americans think HTML is an STD

http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20140305/wicker-park/kickstarter-fail-artist-raises-51k-publish-books-burns-them-alley