ILH now prepared to sign Giannis to max deal once we figure out an appropriate nickname.
― Call me Shitmael (CompuPost), Sunday, 12 January 2014 16:46 (ten years ago) link
http://knickerblogger.net/knicks-102-sixers-92/
J.R. Smith, SG27 MIN | 5-8 FG | 1-2 FT | 3 REB | 6 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 14 PTS | +20[INT. a sterile white room with a large metal table at its center. A laboratory. Camera holds on a large box sitting on the table. Pan out to reveal MIKE WOODSON and JAMES DOLAN standing in an adjoining room, staring into the laboratory through one-sided glass.]
[A DOCTOR enters]
DOCTOR: Good afternoon gentlemen, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.DOLAN: Just so long as the results are…satisfactory.WOODSON: Results don’t play the game.DOCTOR: I think you’ll find them more than adequate. [Presses a red button on a console under the one-way glass] Yes, bring in Subject A, please.
[The door in the laboratory opens. JR SMITH enters wearing a hospital gown, his eyes wide but dispassionate. He sits at the table. An ORDERLY follows behind him]
ORDERLY: Open the box, Subject A.WOODSON: [Concerned] Boxes don’t play the game.JR: [Opens the box in silence, peers in to examine the contents, his face suddenly distorted in panic but his body unmoving, as if wrapped in an unseen straitjacket]DOCTOR: [Presses the button again] You may proceed.JR: [His arms springing into action, he turns the enormous box over, spilling its contents on the large, metal table. A dozen pairs of size-14 high-top sneakers, their laces all untied. He feverishly begins to tie them]WOODSON: Shoes don’t play the game.DOLAN: [His lips curled in a smile of ecstatic disbelief] Just as you told us it would be.DOCTOR: My methods may be irregular, sir, but my results are above reproach. While his brother Chris sat on the bench in his stead last night, providing a near perfect body double, we performed the controversial Pipenovsky treatment. To the Subject, the sight of a shoelace secured with anything less than a firm double-knot is now as abhorrent you or I would find, oh, I don’t know: maybe the carcass of a brutally murdered kitten.WOODSON: [Nodding in agreement] Brutally murdered kittens don’t play the game.DOLAN: And this is for real?DOCTOR: [Pressing the button] Phase Two!
[Three more orderlies enter the room, roughly yanking JR away from the table and holding him securely by the arms. The first orderly picks up a pristinely tied shoe, walks up to JR, stops 3 feet from his face, and, in one continuous motion, pulls one end until the knot is utterly dismantled]
JR: [Eyes bulging, face contorted in tortured dementia] WHA—NOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [He throws one of the orderlies off in an effort to get to the untied shoe and has almost freed himself of a second when the third plunges a syringe into his arm. JR falls limply into the arms of his aides]WOODSON: [At a whisper] Powerful horse tranquilizers…don’t play the game.DOLAN: And when he wakes up, he’ll still be like this?DOCTOR: Absolutely. The treatment is irreversible. Actually, one thing: just make sure he doesn’t have a hot shooting night where everyone praises his indisputably brilliant play right when he gets back because if that happens there’s no telling what the fuck he’ll do next.
[SCENE]
― k3vin k., Sunday, 12 January 2014 16:47 (ten years ago) link
that...shows a lot of effort
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 20:47 (ten years ago) link
I was thinking on the plane today that Dwyane and Blake both had major knee operations and both came back and were explosive
― 龜, Sunday, 12 January 2014 21:57 (ten years ago) link
but blake getting an ACL repair is diff than having a ligament completely removed
― le goon (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:04 (ten years ago) link
Wait who's getting a ligament removed?
You mean the meniscus
― 龜, Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:06 (ten years ago) link
yeah whatever it is
― le goon (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:10 (ten years ago) link
there's a fundamental difference b/w something getting repaired/replaced than removed all together
I think it was revealed that DWade had his menisci removed in college and that's why his knees are so fucked up now
But it was a glorious few years when he first entered the league
― 龜, Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:10 (ten years ago) link
http://espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/story/_/id/9760169/dwyane-wade-miami-heat-regrets-having-meniscus-removed-college
― 龜, Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link
I thought blake just broke his kneecap
― lag∞n, Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link
i bet he does!
― le goon (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link
wonderin why meniscus missed us
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Sunday, 12 January 2014 22:12 (ten years ago) link
The cavs are down 70-111 to the Kings
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 13 January 2014 01:17 (ten years ago) link
careful cavs, lebron is watching, evaluating.
― Daniel, Esq 2, Monday, 13 January 2014 01:17 (ten years ago) link
72-116
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 13 January 2014 01:19 (ten years ago) link
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-qMQ8wU7rwWk/UtLX-jLAVmI/AAAAAAAAYxo/xTrSb_mEssQ/w426-h240/LeBron+Finger+Roll+Shot+Science.gif
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:06 (ten years ago) link
ppl not voting bron mvp are fucking haterz
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:08 (ten years ago) link
srayl, he should have two more bc dirk and drose are walking around w them, bet theyll give kd the award bc they wanna spread the wealth, totally clouding the fact that bron has running this league for years now shit
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:09 (ten years ago) link
all awards shd just be canceled, theres one true award that thats the mfn ring, everything else is bs
― lag∞n, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:10 (ten years ago) link
Megha Rajagopalan @meghara 10mDennis Rodman appeared to break down and cry and repeated "I'm sorry" at Beijing airport this morning, our story coming shortly
yeesh
― lag∞n, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:13 (ten years ago) link
no way i love awards just not award shows but i feel like there should be a pwn index where mark-ass betas like d rose never win mvp trophies just bc sports writers felt some type of way
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:13 (ten years ago) link
what prompted this MVP rant
― k3vin k., Monday, 13 January 2014 05:14 (ten years ago) link
also tbf durant has a strong case this year imo
if theyre gonna carry on they shd at least rename it "the best player award" so sportswriters will stop thinking theyre clever
― lag∞n, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:15 (ten years ago) link
its late, im avoiding grading, im in awe of lebron, feel like i read a "kd is the true mvp bc shooting" piece recently
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:19 (ten years ago) link
tbh i also feel like lebron already has a lot of mvps. kd isnt rose ..
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:22 (ten years ago) link
someone said lebron pisses me off, and he pisses me too.
but its a completely diff than the way like, kobe bryant used to make me hate him
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:23 (ten years ago) link
just cuz lebron has lots of mvps doesn't mean he isn't the mvp
― Clay, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:25 (ten years ago) link
like jordan should probably have ~ 11 mvps but he had a lot so they gave them to other people b/c variety is the spice of journalism
― Clay, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:26 (ten years ago) link
also, lebron isn't anything like kobe
― Daniel, Esq 2, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:26 (ten years ago) link
yeah i know. but why nash has 2 and KG just one? bad management all the way
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:27 (ten years ago) link
OTM, i dont give a fuck if kd saves a baby from a burning ford expedition in the middle of tornado season, as long as lebron is a shutdown defender and impossible to guard he's mvp
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:28 (ten years ago) link
steve nash should have 0 mvps, fuck white joiurnalisst forever
i mean, kobe was a great defender. the way he coasted on d during his first title run and after the shaq trade.... just horrible. lebron is kinda doin that type of thing some nights, and i dont blame him (mostly on TOs tho)
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:28 (ten years ago) link
shaq should probably have won both of those nash years to be real iirc
― Clay, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:29 (ten years ago) link
LeBron James ✔ @KingJames"@thorpjoshua: @KingJames How do I get my baby to fall asleep?"(Put my performance in the 2011 Finals on! Night night immediately)
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:30 (ten years ago) link
its probably lebron sense of humour what keeps him in my heart < 3
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:31 (ten years ago) link
duncan should have 2 or more, but kidd deserved one. love the season they lost to spurs and duncan completely dominated them. iirc a quadruple double or close in game 2
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:33 (ten years ago) link
omg kidd deserved none at all plz
― lag∞n, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:33 (ten years ago) link
duncan has 2, kidd is a mark-ass turkey who deserves nothing but misery, may his life be forever a repeat of duncan sonning him and his horrible ass nets team
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:34 (ten years ago) link
lol : D
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:34 (ten years ago) link
mvps i have witnessed in my life: jordan, shaq, duncan, kobe, bron, p much it
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:35 (ten years ago) link
AI that one season
ai <<<< kidd plz
― moullet, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:37 (ten years ago) link
hakeem the years jordan was goofing off in the minor leagues i guess
― Clay, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:38 (ten years ago) link
heresy
― Clay, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:39 (ten years ago) link
right hakeemai <<<< kidd plz
― moullet, Sunday, January 12, 2014 11:37 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
GET RIGHT THE FUCK OUT MY LIFE
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:39 (ten years ago) link
there is a statue in heaven of AI carved by a team of baller angles titled SAINT OF INTERMINABLE HUSTLE and it is AI dunking on five 7 foot demons
― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Monday, 13 January 2014 05:41 (ten years ago) link
magic and bird legit mvps too
― Clay, Monday, 13 January 2014 05:41 (ten years ago) link