this thread is experiencing some mission creep.
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 2 May 2014 14:19 (nine years ago) link
word.
― how's life, Friday, 2 May 2014 14:28 (nine years ago) link
That looks like a fetish suit
― DDD, Friday, 2 May 2014 14:36 (nine years ago) link
Hrm yeah. Maybe not best thread for it. Those eyes though.
― sktsh, Friday, 2 May 2014 15:01 (nine years ago) link
there's a shining carpet doormat you can buy also that i have to admit is tempting
― balls, Friday, 2 May 2014 15:54 (nine years ago) link
followup to silverfish's story:
http://www.weather.com/video/whale-not-expected-to-explode-47922?
thank god
― tao lin wolf (unregistered), Sunday, 4 May 2014 02:42 (nine years ago) link
Man Tries to Marry Porn-Filled Laptop
http://www.newser.com/story/186425/man-tries-to-marry-porn-filled-laptop.html
― some dude, Thursday, 8 May 2014 11:20 (nine years ago) link
http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2014/05/baby_name_map_new_yorkers_don_t_call_their_babies_brooklyn.html
mostly for the map
― goole, Thursday, 8 May 2014 14:49 (nine years ago) link
http://gawker.com/accused-portland-reservoir-teen-i-didn-t-piss-in-the-1564611565
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 8 May 2014 17:35 (nine years ago) link
"I was like, 'Dudes I have to piss so bad,'" Swonger said. "So I just went over to the wall [of the reservoir].I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it. Right there on the wall, dude. I don't know else how to describe it."
City officials disagree. "When you see the video, he's leaning right up because he has to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars," Portland Water Bureau administrator David Shaff told the Oregonian. "There's really no doubt what he's doing."
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 8 May 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link
when city officials make public statements about the size of your penis to the local paper, it's probably time to move
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 8 May 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link
I assumed it was a Portland thing, like turning a blind eye toward Nike or not being able to pump your own gas.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 May 2014 18:42 (nine years ago) link
Pope Francis gets old school on the Devil
http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/a-modern-pope-gets-old-school-on-the-devil/2014/05/10/f56a9354-1b93-4662-abbb-d877e49f15ea_story.html
― some dude, Sunday, 11 May 2014 20:13 (nine years ago) link
http://corp.7-eleven.com/Newsroom/2014NewsReleases/7ElevenRollsOutMustacheStraws/tabid/595/Default.aspx
― funny and lolexander (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 14 May 2014 23:16 (nine years ago) link
Boston Bomber’s Other Plan Was Opening Kazakhstan’s First Starbucks
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Saturday, 17 May 2014 02:36 (nine years ago) link
Man Suing Stripper for $3k Because He Thought She Really Liked Him
http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2014/05/man-suing-stripper-for-3k-because-he-thought-she-really-liked-him/
― some dude, Saturday, 17 May 2014 22:49 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-think-that-stripper-really-liked-me,10883/
― balls, Saturday, 17 May 2014 22:51 (nine years ago) link
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Friday, May 16, 2014 10:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this is the most exemplary example of what i was looking for when i started this thread.
― socki (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 May 2014 23:35 (nine years ago) link
lol
― Nhex, Sunday, 18 May 2014 02:46 (nine years ago) link
The stripper’s stage name is Nomi
ok really though?
― funny and lolexander (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 19 May 2014 12:04 (nine years ago) link
Brad Pitt Tosses A Beer To Matthew McConaughey Upon Realizing They Are Neighbors
― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Monday, 19 May 2014 13:35 (nine years ago) link
we love to hate thos e fuckers
― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 19 May 2014 14:00 (nine years ago) link
Tom DeLay: ‘Americans Forget the Constitution Was Written by God’
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 00:55 (nine years ago) link
In case you're curious, Brad and Matt drink Hopitoulas IPA. Not great, not bad.
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 00:58 (nine years ago) link
Time magazine is really aiming for the Onion demographic.
Drunk Fish Totally Impress Sober Fish, Study Finds
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 17:49 (nine years ago) link
thread has really gotten back on track in a big way
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 17:55 (nine years ago) link
Scientists accidentally create a Johnny Cash fan.
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 27 May 2014 20:22 (nine years ago) link
http://www.businessinsider.com/huge-social-media-manager-does-all-day-2014-5
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 27 May 2014 21:08 (nine years ago) link
ha, right down to the picture
― goole, Tuesday, 27 May 2014 21:12 (nine years ago) link
Thus far, the post has yet to be retweeted, but it has generated two favorites.
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 27 May 2014 22:05 (nine years ago) link
Pennsylvania Girl Elbowed Boy In Testicles For Laughing After She Farted During Sex On School Bus: State Police
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Thursday, 29 May 2014 16:57 (nine years ago) link
and that first sentence, too!
― Dan I., Thursday, 29 May 2014 17:14 (nine years ago) link
It wasn't even... a fart...
― Nhex, Thursday, 29 May 2014 19:40 (nine years ago) link
so did all of those things happen in sequence, on the school bus, or
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 29 May 2014 19:40 (nine years ago) link
International Business Times
― een, Thursday, 29 May 2014 20:55 (nine years ago) link
Slightly guilty lols for posting this one, but http://bobbraunsledger.com/guest-top-newark-student-says-time-to-speak-is-now/
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Saturday, 31 May 2014 14:30 (nine years ago) link
http://bobbraunsledger.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/BLOGJORDANTHOMAS-231x300.jpg GUEST: Top Newark student says time to speak is now
Today’s guest blog was written by Jordan Thomas, a senior at Newark’s University High School where he is valedictorian and earned a 4.5 GPA. He was admitted to Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and Rutgers and will attend Princeton in the fall. He plans to go to law school and become a Constitutional lawyer. He was the student member of the Newark School Advisory Board for this school year. He delivered these remarks at Tuesday night’s board meeting.
“Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”
This passage, derived from our nation’s founding text, the Declaration of Independence, details an individual’s natural propensity to tolerate, or, in some cases, suffer, rather than to excite disruption, engage in public denunciation, or demand absolute reformation in times of hardship and deficient leadership. Candidly, I admit that I have been one so guilty of remaining reserved and civil in both action and speech through the duration of the struggle that has occurred in the Newark Public Schools system these months past, blinded by a false sense of hope, a chimerical sense of promise, and a foolish belief that my words and admonitions would be heeded if conducted in a manner that coupled professionalism with discretion.
Unfortunately, an unspeakable decision that has been unveiled last week has revealed that approach to be ineffective, and, as stated by our founding fathers, there comes a time in which one must no longer hold his tongue or contain his extreme dissatisfaction.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Saturday, 31 May 2014 14:32 (nine years ago) link
wow, the Smoking Gun headline on that one story is "Bus Sex Teen Busted After Queef Beef"
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Saturday, 31 May 2014 14:52 (nine years ago) link
Welcome to 'boring' Belgium where even the pigeons are on cocaine
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Sunday, 1 June 2014 11:14 (nine years ago) link
Billy Crystal swept the Audie Awards, otherwise known as the "Oscars of the audiobook industry."
― ςὖτ ιτ Οὖτ (some dude), Sunday, 1 June 2014 12:01 (nine years ago) link
Secret Service urgently seeks sarcasm-detecting software
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 4 June 2014 21:37 (nine years ago) link
http://s.mlkshk.com/r/ZAOP
― Dan I., Saturday, 7 June 2014 05:34 (nine years ago) link
this could go in a few threads (facebook for one) but here seems fine:http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118013/satire-news-websites-are-cashing-gullible-outraged-readers
― Look at this joke I've recognised, do you recognise it as well? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 7 June 2014 05:52 (nine years ago) link
http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2014/06/09/doctor-accused-of-sexting-during-surgery/
― write 500 words of song (sleepingbag), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 21:25 (nine years ago) link
I give you all a fucking PRIME candidate here:
http://www.philly.com/philly/living/20140611_More_young_men_friends_embracing__and_it_s_in_no_way_gay_.html
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 June 2014 01:35 (nine years ago) link
omg this sentence so good: "Pasko, it turns out, has wrapped his arms around a long-term trend: In a broad range of social settings, more men are embracing, well, embracing."
― Mordy, Thursday, 12 June 2014 01:37 (nine years ago) link
faux social science and puns: i "hold" both "dear to my heart" (hugging)
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 12 June 2014 03:27 (nine years ago) link
I don't get how that article can be read as "Onion style"? It depicts a genuine phenomenon (physical closeness becoming more popular among male friends and acquaintances) deeply rooted in social changes (the loosening of male gender norms, decrease homophobia), which is explained in the article. I don't see how it's supposed to be funny or something?
― Tuomas, Thursday, 12 June 2014 11:50 (nine years ago) link
McCormack said several types of gateway hugs are facilitating the shift.
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 12 June 2014 13:56 (nine years ago) link
didn't we lol at an article in the NYT or something a while back, that was essentially the same as this one
― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 12 June 2014 13:58 (nine years ago) link