There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to jump all night!

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a friend has suggested that i put my speakers out the window and blast Van Halen's "Jump" or kriss kross or house of pain or 'another one bites the dust'

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 19:59 (twenty years ago) link

too easy.

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf500/f596/f59631u2zw0.jpg

go for the 7th track of this one, instead.

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:02 (twenty years ago) link

On the 'pretty freaked' photo, he looks like he's doing a dance move.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:09 (twenty years ago) link

I heard them mention him on KGO this morning... you could almost hear the smirk in the traffic reporters voice as she mentioned "a man threatening to jump from a one story building..."

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:11 (twenty years ago) link

so what's the status, eh? is that big yellow lift proving to be the godsend or what?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, the classic mid '80s Run-DMC stance

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

I like how the cop up on the roof brought a bottle of Cranberry Snapple with him.. just in case.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:13 (twenty years ago) link

urinary tract infections don't stop for derelicts.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:14 (twenty years ago) link

he totally wanted that snapple. but he didn't want to leave his ledge. he told everybody to leave him alone so he could drink, but he never actually got it.

right now everybody has left him alone. there's no one on the truck either. it's pretty weird. he's probably freaked out by all the people.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:18 (twenty years ago) link

borrrring.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:20 (twenty years ago) link

instigate something. it's your duty as a journalist.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:21 (twenty years ago) link

Do you have a BB gun?

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:23 (twenty years ago) link

Why don't you shout out to him casually. "Hey! What's up?"

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:25 (twenty years ago) link

you should play charades with him.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

or "Hey, I put you on the internet! You're famous! You're Low Roof Man!"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

Why doesn't somebody just sneak up behind him and yell "boo" and get this shit over with, god.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:26 (twenty years ago) link

He kinda looks like David Blaine...

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:27 (twenty years ago) link

ask him what his favorite star wars movie is, or something.

"dude! do you watch 'ER' anymore? what do you think!?"

― Kingfish Beestick (Kingfish), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:29 (twenty years ago) link

if i weren't at work, i'd photoshop various hats on him! ooh that'd be pleasant!

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:30 (twenty years ago) link

Dean = Ed Grimley

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:31 (twenty years ago) link

I'd turn him into an animated GIF with a MIDI of The Ketchup Song playing.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:32 (twenty years ago) link

New picture! I feel lost now...

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

This just in:

http://hot.ee/runescape3d/suicide.gif

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:39 (twenty years ago) link

JaXon, do you have a loud stereo and a copy of "Jump" by Kris Kross?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:46 (twenty years ago) link

hey looky me!

― JaXon's post at 11:59 AM (gygax!), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

that's been addressed upthread.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

But he still didn't answer the question!

― Sulky Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:51 (twenty years ago) link

i'll take his silence to mean "yes i have the kris kross, multiple copies in fact, but no i dont have a big stereo, all i have is my little sister's my little pony boombox"

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

EVEN BETTER

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

WAYE BETTAR

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:58 (twenty years ago) link

still nothing. 12.59pm. getting bored.

i'm thinking i'm gonna jump now instead. i'm on the 6th floor. it'll totally take the pressure off of him.

May, i kiss thee. great picture

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:04 (twenty years ago) link

weak, call him a pussy.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:05 (twenty years ago) link

sfpd blowz. if that bum had a bag of fajitas, those cops would've been all over him by now.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:05 (twenty years ago) link

Spiderman could fix this.

― Hunter (Hunter), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:11 (twenty years ago) link

"Put down the bag of fajitas. I repeat: put DOWN the bag of fajitas."

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:15 (twenty years ago) link

So what is the latest skinny on Fajitagate anyway?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:33 (twenty years ago) link

this whole thread is a little offputting, but i think that "freaked" pic could net you something, call the papers.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

if they ask if you've leaked it already, lie.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

more like boring.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

i mean, we've already left the realm of ethical behavior here.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

Sell it! I once got $25 for lending BAM magazine Dave Navarro's 8th grade yearbook photo. The world is yours.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

OK I'm bored by this, did he jump yet or what?

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 21:41 (twenty years ago) link

i'll even be satisfied if someone just cuts him out of one of these pictures and puts him on the ground. seriously. add some blood too.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

yeah unless he bails, the photos aren't worth a thing.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

Done and done.
http://www.worksongs.com/suicide.jpg

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:59 (twenty years ago) link

/me marries you

*kisses*

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:01 (twenty years ago) link

Oh the humanity! And without his 16 oz. Seattle's Best Americano!

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:02 (twenty years ago) link

he looks like a stillborn gerbil now.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:07 (twenty years ago) link

donut bitch, you got lowballed.

― hstencil, Friday, 5 December 2003 22:10 (twenty years ago) link

"but it was just going to get cold."

http://www.worksongs.com/mug.jpg

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:11 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 127 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

That's the plot of an episode of Sledgehammer!, isn't it?

― dada wouldn't buy me a bauhaus (aldo), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 08:48 (fifteen years ago) link

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