Atlanta Braves 2014: I got your extension right here

lol

I'm squeezing the last couple of years of homerism out of them before they move to White Flight Stadium and I become a Pirates fan. My wife suggested I become a Cards fan but that whole conversation ended with her saying "okay, okay, jeez, you weirdo."

I don't want to overdo the "omg Andrelton" stuff but this one is worth it.

http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=2014_06_13_anamlb_atlmlb_1&mode=video&content_id=33684561&tcid=vpp_copy_33684561

braves 'considering' calling up christian bethancourt, moving heyward to center, jupton to right, oso blanco to left, bupton to bench

I saw that this morning. I mostly agree with the Talking Chop guy who said it would make zero sense -- I would upgrade that to very little sense.

paplolbon

Ryan Doumit is a creepy-looking motherfucker -- his eyeballs are solid black, no whites.

hahaha, I googled him and it autocompleted to "ryan doumit eyes"

http://twinstrivia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Doumit-Ryan.jpg

I think this team has had its last look at 1st place in the division this year.

http://i.imgur.com/vI0KPD5.jpg

Now that it's happened on the Fox game of the week, I expect some national press about the ongoing friction or miscommunication between Gattis and the Braves starters (Teheran and Santana in particular). It's been going on for a while. Tonight at one point Gattis went through a series of signs, Teheran shook them all off; Gattis went through a bunch more, Teheran shook them all off; then they just had a staring contest for a while. It felt like forever, but was probably between 5-10 seconds. A couple of weeks ago, Gattis and Santana were so off the same page, I swear they were having a couple of mound conferences per batter.

File under "are you fucking kidding me?" -- B.J. Upton is batting leadoff tonight.

Tom Hart, the Barveses field reporter, is in the booth tonight. (Joe Simpson is still out from achilles tendon surgery.) I would say that anything that takes oxygen away from Chip Caray is a good thing, but Paul Byrd has been the main fill-in for Simpson, and he's been terrible. Hart is good, though.

Unfortunately, Uggla's still on the team and Stella! has the night off.

http://images.cdn.bigcartel.com/bigcartel/product_images/138139087/max_h-1000+max_w-1000/FCC-Red_01.jpg

Ha, might get one of those.

I have no idea where this gang of run-manufacturers came from, but suddenly their percentage of runs from homer is way down and they're 9-1 in their last 10. Admittedly vs. Astros/Phils/Mets, but still, I love this crazy "put the ball in play" concept.

Lol, Gerald Laird, master of the bunt single. (He just got career #44.) They never expect it!

It works approximately 24.6% of the time for the .246 lifetime hitter.

Phil Gosselin called up from AAA; the corresponding roster move is that Dan Uggla has been suspended for one game by the team. Fredi won't say why but Dave O'Brien at the AJC says it's for being "late."

After sorta Kawakami-ing him for a month and a half, it looks like the Popeye era is nearly done.

rosenthal saying uggla is done, though whether dfa'd or outright released remains unclear

plz SOMEONE snap him up so I can at least get another 25 HM points

xp - I've been waiting/hoping for that news today.

http://i.imgur.com/vI0KPD5.jpg

No amount of La Stella is going to fix this team.

― WilliamC, Wednesday, May 7, 2014 10:10 PM (2 months ago)

...although I'd love to be proven wrong. STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!

btw this 20yo ss jose peraza is tearing shit up

no power and he doesn't walk, but it's less of a big deal when you hit .350

also he doesn't strike out

I'm terrible about following prospects -- I've heard a little about Peraza but not a lot. Just read his profile at Talking Chop and they've moved him from SS to 2B, with a timeline to reach the bigs in 2016.

no power and he doesn't walk, but it's less of a big deal when you hit .350 -- he'd fit right in with these weird nu-look small-ball Braves. Homers way down (only 7 in July), slash numbers all up.

Simba Is Not Human, 7/22/14 edition: http://deadspin.com/andrelton-simmons-makes-another-superhuman-defensive-pl-1608860163

Went to the Friday night game -- too bad the Braves didn't show up. I'm done paying to see these guys in person.

https://sports.vice.com/article/baseball-erotica-1-john-smoltz-and-tom-glavine

Pete Van Wieren died of cancer today at 69 -- RIP.

After moving back to MS in 2001 and making a point of going to a couple of Braves games a year, I briefly had the idea of getting the four main broadcasters' (PVW, Simpson, Caray, Sutton) autographs on my glove. The Professor's was the only one I got before I gave that up.

But getting back to this year's Braves:

http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/funny-cat-pushing-things-off-table-fuck-this-animated-gif-pics.gif

BJ Upton is batting eighth today.

The apocalypse is nigh.

sombrero for jupton

also i saw la stella dive for a grounder that was probably five feet away lol

Penance for last night.

The upside is that they're making it really easy for me to shift from watching games to watching movies.

So glad the collapse is happening in the first half of August instead of the second half of September.

so you can put your Falcons stuff on? :)

Gaaahh, no, I gave up American football 3 or 4 seasons ago. The only "protect your goal/put the ball in their goal" sport I mess with is soccer.

i was riffing on an old Larry Jones crack

All the way over my head, stand-up triple. Good work.

http://deadspin.com/naked-idiot-on-turner-field-delays-athletics-braves-gam-1623037704

Funny thing is that this didn't really delay the game at all -- Bob Melvin had come out to pull Sonny Gray when the streaker ran out, and in the last video linked, you can see Otero running in from the bullpen and crossing paths with security and the streaker. Better entertainment than the jumbotron during a pitching change.

Perhaps that's the solution to the longer games controversy, naked men running around.

Attendance would go through the roof!

This game baffles me more every day.

you buried em and they rise from the grave, simple

when i bury the Mets, they stay buried

pirates are even curing bupton

Lorenzo's Chaw

happy 30th birthday to bossman jr.

Hope he gets a (shaving cream) cake (in his face) for his birthday.

Simba with his best of the year: http://braves.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?c_id=atl&gid=2014_08_27_atlmlb_nynmlb_1&lang=en&content_id=35722799&mode=video

Wood vs. Eovaldi was great.

Jose Constanza was used to pinch hit for a healthy Justin Upton

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BweeulECIAAjq-_.jpg

http://funnygifs.co/gifs/pinata-fail.gif