Grown so ugly.

I caught a reflection of the bags under my eyes in the LRT this morning that made me wonder if I'd been awake for 2 weeks solid.

FaceTime has been real bad for my facial self esteem

Is anyone else actually getting better looking as they age?

fuck yeah, it's awesome

ikr

I think I'm getting better looking as I age. Mostly by being extremely sedentary/unfit in my 20s, I set the bar really low as far as looks go. I'm certainly getting gray/wrinkles and years of sun exposure are showing up, but I think in general I'm feeling good. Confidence and being in relatively good health help that a lot.

you be the judge!

20: https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1933762_508311389587_8732_n.jpg?oh=a2e111e40fc75fc6ab02eae08dd79c30&oe=57F372EE

30: https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13221674_10100474923907327_7428257024563892851_n.jpg?oh=d2039cf5f5468aec1cb64b99edf6dbea&oe=5806DACF

high-five!

those photos are a good basis for comparison as you are making the exact same expression in both. also, photo 1 should be made into a dealwithit.gif

It's awesome how as I get further away from the metabolic damage done by a couple years on Risperdal as a teenager- why, sure, it's FANTASTIC for social phobia!- and find better information about how to take care of myself (because I live alone and rarely hang out with anyone more than once a month) all the positive effects are essentially undone by the effects of aging so I work myself to the fucking bone but still look like an unfuckable human potato

Also I am super fucking hammered if that was not obvious.

PROTIP for hanging out with an ex and discussing how amazingly their new relationship is: DO NOT THIS

I feel like I'm at least breaking even as I age and possibly getting better looking on account of not really having has any concept of fitness until at least my early twenties and then very gradually getting better and more serious about working out. I had a few years of decline after the kids were born, but around last August I reintroduced a pretty fierce gym habit and also started seriously lifting for the first time in my life, which I feel like has made me look stronger and more manly than I used to and given me more presence.

kind of a wash for me -- I am more comfortable in my skin, but less comfortable in my clothes, perhaps because perpetual ongoing low-grade student poverty means that the only new additions to my wardrobe in the last ~5 years have been gifts from mom. I like to imagine that I will eventually look quite dashing in a suit, though!

Got into- not an argument, but a discussion w/ ex trying to explain to her I was taking a short break from OKCupid, Tinder, etc while I worked on losing weight- doing a 12-week calorie cut to try and drop 15-ish pounds, at least. How am I suppsoed to react to being told it doesn't matter, people will like you whatever, etc when seriously I have been somewhere between slight to worryingly overweight ever since I got started on antidepressants when I was about 12? It's basically impossible to explain to people who were attractive in their teens/20s/etc, but basically I hate my body as it is now and as it has ever been and I want to burn that shit to the fucking ground. Why is it vanity or cowardice to want to take some time out and work on myself so I can not have fucking tits at least once before Im' 40?

In a few years I am certain that people will be remarking at how dapper and handsome I look as I lie in my coffin.

The mourners, of course will be lying rather more pleasantly (see what I did there?).