X Factor (UK) 2014

Rickrolled by a flat singing twunt.

this is the worst cover version ever

be more specific, they all could be

500 miles

Slowing down a song is not some kind of world shaking move. It's how they make the backing track for a Sainsbury's advert. Why are there so many close ups on Cheryl's expressionless face?

Well, "That's Entertainment"

Fleur might suffer in the vote, for the usual reasons, though I thought she was great.

Usually hate things like Only The Young on X-Factor, but they're lovely.

The soldier guy I hate on principle, but his Proclaimers thing was actually OK! If you're gonna watch this guff - which I do enthusiastically - you've got to reframe your sense of aesthetics. You can't think in musical terms but rather bow down and consider what would e.g make a good Sainsbury's advert. And this would be a good one!

I liked the fake posh girl tonight most of all. She sang great and Fame is the best song. Theoretically, it's the same song as the Whitney one that Andrea sang, but it's human and hopeful and vulnerable where One Moment In Time is just fascist and inhuman. Big misstep to do that.

In their VT Only The Young seemed like an actual band in the way they approached how they'd arrange their song, something we haven't really seen since JLS?

Andrea's song choice seemed like a mis-step, but it's early in the series and he isn't going anywhere for a while, so there's plenty of time. Chloe is in a more precarious position, her 'Chicago' musical stylings need switching up with something else.
Stereo Dicks: eight boys in a band and all of them are white? How did that slip past? And their song choice was typical Louis / late period Boyzone.
Stevi sang his entire song flat while mugging for the cameras. I can't see how he'll not be in the bottom three, OTOH he's probably got a cloth-eared fanbase already who just eat up this Butlins redcoat / cruise ship nonsense.
Lauren is technically a good singer, but the slower the song the less of her personality comes through. There's only a limited number of times a singer can do this kind of glacial performance on XF before it starts to get boring.

i've had good times on x factor threads past, but i just can't watch this show any more. i get thirty seconds in and it feels like i'm punishing myself. keep fighting the good fight, everybody :'(.

Just started watching. Already they've played Cameo and The Human League in the background. Would be great if either of those bands were covered on the show tonight. Not going to get my hopes up.

Five minutes in and One Direction have already had their weekly bit of promotion.

I shouldn't be surprised that they're making my favourite decade for music seem so boring.

Stereo Kicks might be the worst boy band they've had. The backing track on the chorus was shameless just like all those One Direction performance from 2010 but somehow they even more hateable. Instead of having just one Louis Tomlinson they have four of them. Cheryl's comment about them basically not having a fanbase was amazing.

I don't know how anyone can sing If You Don't Know Me By Now with a straight face when this exists.

http://youtu.be/QlSv818d1Rk

Oh shit, they're pushing Jay James again and it might just be working. His version is currently in the top ten on iTunes.

Have I missed someone, or does Stephanie being voted off make Fleur the only non-white contestant left?

So we lose a potentially interesting singer in Chloe, but the piss-poor Westlife karaoke boys continue.

Chloe might be a potentially interesting singer but she was honking like a goose today. She really fucked it up.

did they put studio kicks together rom auditionees? they couldn't find a singe non-white guy?

Chloe sounded like she wanted out.

It doesn't matter how Chloe sang in the sing off she was fucked the moment she was going up against Stereo Kicks. Simon and the producers are really counting on something happening with these guys. Apparently on Extra Factor Louis was claiming He never wanted eight members in the band and it was all Simon's idea, even going on to blame him for why it's just not working. When asked about their future he said "I'm going to talk to the boys" They will lose at least two of those members by the end of the week.

I wasn't a massive fan of Chloe or Steph but at least they gave the show some variety. Losing the will to keep up with this show now. Like the last couple of years I'm all about wanting to see people I hate kicked out (Stereo Kicks and Jay James mainly) instead of supporting any of the finalists.

If they keep going with the Stereo Kicks thing, it might just be the one thing that kills off the golden goose. No audience likes to be felt like they are being spoon-fed. Even if that's what happens most of the time, they don't want to be told in naked terms "you will buy this".

One of the 'solo' spots from one of the stereo kickers was woeful in the extreme, the guy clearly could not sing a note.

Nala had promise but her voice was too Aluna Francis-y for X-Factor in the end. Feel like it's Platt or Fleur who'll end up on Duke Dumont singles in 18 months anyway.

Chloe was vile, glad to see her out. Can't see anything other than a PUGS victory though.

Have I missed someone, or does Stephanie being voted off make Fleur the only non-white contestant left?

During judges' houses, I was convinced no non-white contestants were going through – I'd have said Stephanie least likely of the girls, and until Fleur killed it & Welsh mother-of-two had a panic attack, I was pretty sure it was Welsh mother-of-two/Haenow/sailor. I was thinking it was some dark-hearted pandering to a smaller, older more ahem 'conservative' audience, but then Fleur and Stephanie went through so

Everything's

Fine.

Really.

Comments about lack of enthusiasm otm - I'm struggling this year. No-one I really like.

Still seeing Andrea in the final, but he might wear thin pretty soon – doesn't help that Mel seems to be an unusually incompetent mentor.

Basically see Stereo Kicks as a weird experiment that still could pull something off, but yeah Mark G maybe otm, it's so blunt & obvious no-one is really engaging. Feels like there's a mob on stage.

The obvious thing to do would be to have a 2nd poll each week on the worst member of stereo kicks, then during the next performance a sniper with a tranquiliser gun picks that member off. Obvs neither they not Louis know which member will be shot.

That is an amazing idea. I think the cardboard cutout guy would be the first one to be taken out. If he's too young to actually feature on Xtra Factor it's an easy choice to get rid of him first. Personally my least favourite member is the quiff guy who is obviously being pushed as the lead singer. His singing face is rather unfortunate. http://www.essexchronicle.co.uk/Stereo-Kicks-star-James-voice-rest-fresh-X-Factor/story-23184088-detail/story.html

James Graham has a cold by Gay Talese

I felt embarrassed for Simon after Stereo Kicks performed so badly on Saturday but he still came out with his usual "I'm excited about this band" "I can see you growing as a band" type comments. Since he put them together he's clearly trying to brainwash the public which I thought might work when they were at the six seat challenge but it's obvious there's no chance of that now. It's kind of like when he tried to push Danyl week after week in 2009 even though it was obvious the public were not going for him (Calling him worse than Hitler etc) Simon carried on each week trying to make him the star he believed he was even though he had Olly and even Joe right there in front of him.

They're not even his act!

Not his act as in not in his category, but if he's one of the people putting the group together surely he gets a stake in them. Just realised it's probably a lot easier to put a boyband together these days (and market them) if you have thousands of solo X factor auditionees to choose from and can put them on telly every week for a couple of months.

i'm amazed that that just occurred to you!

every act is simon's act surely

I watched Xtra Factor last (Because I hate myself obviously) It really isn't looking good for a few of those boys. Louis kept going about how he never wanted eight in the band. When the host asked what he was going to do he basically kept repeating "I'll talk to the boys" When she pushed him and asked him if he had the power to make changes in the group (Obviously he doesn't) He made it sound like he was hoping a few of them might volunteer to leave. I'm kind of excited to see they handle this. They will either carry on and be out in two weeks (Following the same pattern as Kingsland Road from last year) or they will kick out three members which I'm sure will also kill them off, just like The Risk from 2011 when they replaced a member. Bad luck Simon!

It's 'mangle a song from a movie' week.
Jake is already running on vapour - when the judges start saying things like “you're a really really nice guy”, it's all but over for that act.

It's acapella, not acapello, you candy floss haired fuck.

Stereo Dicks octo-turd of a rendition of Let It Be and Hey Jude. If it wasn't so awful it'd be funny.

I thought Dermot wasn't supposed to have favourites. After Jake performed he asked "Do you think you're good enough to stay?" after some pretty negative comments. When Jay got one criticism from Cheryl He said back to judges "Come on now, we're just splitting hairs here. That was an amazing performance."

Of course Andrea was going to do Listen. I have no idea why this gets done every single year when no one will ever top the Alaxandra/Beyonce version. Still my favourite X Factor moment ever.

Mine too, KP.

We'll never get a year like that again.

Very interested to see what was going on with Mel and Jack. He seemed really annoyed and I don't think I've ever seen a judge be that harsh on one of their own acts "If you make it through to next week" isn't exactly the most encouraging thing she could say.

Really poor show this week. Even Lauren sounded a bit off when she got to the chorus. Only the Young were out of tune on their verses. Lola was probably the worst so far which is saying a lot when I think of some of the horrible noises that came from Jay. So far I'm thinking it will be a bad week for Mel.

Jack will get through on pecs appeal for a few more weeks. my guess is that he's realised he doesn't want to be the kind of pop star that the x factor want him to be. i'm not saying he's a credible artist in his own right but he does seem to be a fairly "cool" teenager. i reckon he's just bit embarrassed by the whole thing.

mel seems to be really pissed off, she was even drawing daggers at dermot.

i'm not sure how i got into watching this again. i've not see the last two years and couldn't even tell you who won last year.

Seems like there's some crazy damage control going on with Stereo Kicks. The judges reactions were kind of sickening and more forced than ever. Simon saying he wants to mentor them is possibly the least shocking thing that happened tonight.

i'm not sure how i got into watching this again. i've not see the last two years and couldn't even tell you who won last year.

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_)

Did you see the show in 2010? If so, imagine a slightly more likeable version of Tesco Mary that instead of working in Tescos was a prison officer. That's who won. She already had an album of covers out for Mother's Day. Last year was Leon Jackson era bad but they didn't even have a Rhydian to liven things up.

Wow, Ben's VT makes him out to be a bit of a dick. Good to see I Don't Want to Miss a Thing making a comeback. This must be the most performed song on the show. Brings back memories of my favourite Danyl performance. Think it was the week he sulked as he'd been in the bottom two the week before so he came and sang most out of it out of key just to stick it to us. Good times.

ah yes now i remember sam bailey.

ben surely can't be a dick. louis said he was the nicest guy in the house!

I thought he seemed like a decent guy but that reaction to Mel's comment last week was pretty bad. Calling himself a threat to the others is hardly going to endear him to the public. Was really surprised to see Simon slag off his song choice too. Up until tonight I thought he would easily make the final. At this point Lauren is the only person I can see winning.

louis said he was the nicest guy in the house!

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_),

Louis' behaviour seems even more strange than usual this year. Feel like more than ever he just doesn't give it a shit about anyone there.

i have to admire the grace with which he handles the insults thrown at him several times per show.

either that or he doolally and doesn't even realise he's being made a c*nt of.

Yeah, it's really tough to say. Such a strange man.

That was disappointing.

Increasingly clear watching Sunday's show what was going to happen - winner's single chosen for Ben, & I think Fleur was a bit hamstrung by having to repeat uptown funk - it was only a week ago, the surprise factor has gone, but what else could she do?

But yeah, the voting figures say a lot - clearly the producers knew what was coming and that Fleur was just *not* going to win - but then she didn't need to. There's not much in 1st and 2nd place if Syco are on your side, and the signs seem good for her. I hope she has a great career. And while I never want to hear Haenow singing again, I hope he enjoys a respectable living in entertainment after this, since he seems a decent person.

Well, Fleur's first performance of it got a big reaction, it seemed a good idea to do it again as a few people might have been prompted to see it for that reason.

The "Winners Song" always seems to be a dead albatross anyway, a song that would have suited Fleur definitely would not have worked for Ben, and they seem to have a stockpile of 'that sort of song' signed to the 'right' publisher.