oh... oh my god
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 16:44 (nine years ago) link
tommy wiseau would weep
― bizarro gazzara, Monday, 27 October 2014 16:46 (nine years ago) link
made with a $10k grant from the canadian government. thx canada!
― bizarro gazzara, Monday, 27 October 2014 16:47 (nine years ago) link
i'm sure the "gaming press" is "corrupt" (no shots to anyone present) in that, to my eyes, it has the same relationship to the games industry that fashion mags to the clothing industry or car mags to the auto industry. there's a thin slice of good writing and history and industry investigation and a huge block of heycheckitout PR
seriously what the fuck do people want? y'all motherfuckers love to see new screenshots, new little bits of info, new trailers, etc etc, that's what YOU FUCKING CLICK okay? So sorry there's no way to dress up like a janitor and sneak into a company and steal a build...
number two, and people don't want to hear this but it's sometimes really fucking irresponsible to write off a game based on a preview...alien isolation looked liked a 10/10 in the months running up, turned out somewhat disappointing.....uncharted, on my honor, looked like a FUCKING MESS the E3 prior to release....the last deus ex which turned out pretty cool look like actual feces when we saw it...
the fact is that games are fucking super complicated and some games that look great early never develop, some games look like a hot mess and they throw 700 ppl on them in the last 6 months and they turn out great!
you can talk about fundamental probz or concerns with design, and possible technical shit that may be a concern of not getting fixed, but it's hard, they can implement some new physics on something or new textures or new camera shit and it can break a whole bunch of stuff.....
so i'm sorry but i see ppl say this shit a lot and in my experience it's good to express concerns about stuff that could be issues moving forward but it's honestly hard to tell how shit turns out IMO.
if anyone could show me a form of entertainment journalism that's ever been PRIMARILY investigative i'd love to see it
― u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 27 October 2014 16:52 (nine years ago) link
I know this is getting stale at this point but still lolled
https://twitter.com/caseyjohnston/status/524963580983390208
― anonanon, Monday, 27 October 2014 16:54 (nine years ago) link
I got to "Abuser, abused: two sides of the same coin" and had to stop watching
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 16:55 (nine years ago) link
also can I say what I want from gaming journalism is pretty much what I've gotten from PC Gamer, Edge and Game Informer; articles about games, reviews that describe the gameplay and storylines if necessary, a shit-ton of screenshots, and a list of release dates
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 16:57 (nine years ago) link
haha, that's exactly where I stopped x-post.
― Spaceport Leuchars (dowd), Monday, 27 October 2014 16:59 (nine years ago) link
hey ums i think i came off a little too harsh and i want to reiterate that i have immense respect for you and enjoy your work
i put "corrupt" in scare quotes because i think that yeah an enthusiast or entertainment press is just naturally, inevitably going to have a different relationship to the industry it covers than general journalism will to general industry. and that's fine! the analogies of fashion and car mags weren't meant to be damning: you pick them up because you want to look at clothes or cars.
what they charge as corruption (esp in the indie scene) is not that at all. they're treating it like they've just discovered that pravda is run by the comintern or something.
anyway, sorry
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:00 (nine years ago) link
Next Gen used to be my shit
― 龜, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:01 (nine years ago) link
actually PC Gamer also had a hardware column that used to be fantastic until they promoted the dude who wrote it to EiC
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:02 (nine years ago) link
no worries goole
it's just like gamers say they want "investigative journalism" but they really want angry blogs about how some game isn't in 1080p
― u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:04 (nine years ago) link
It actually seems like gamergaters have a pretty coherent position -- using money/advertising to gain favorable coverage is ok, even encouraged, it's only using "sexual charms" that is corrupt
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:06 (nine years ago) link
http://actuallyethics.tumblr.com/image/101067587454
― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:07 (nine years ago) link
=(
the only context under which "investigative gaming journalism" makes sense is if someone actually uncovers an indoctrination plot where someone is using a shooting game to train its players to become more efficient killers, and well http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America%27s_Army#Reception
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:08 (nine years ago) link
xp: well that meme was fun while it lasted
Dan, The Last Starfighter is not a true story
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:09 (nine years ago) link
Just checking to make sure the picture of IT in the sewage drain has already been captioned with 'Actually, it's about...'
― 龜, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:11 (nine years ago) link
Actually, it's about 1080p
― Steve 'n' Seagulls and Flock of Van Dammes (forksclovetofu), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:14 (nine years ago) link
yeah the point here is that focused mags are inherently "in bed" with the industry they cover (what up guitar magazines), what these fucksticks dont seem to realize is that its always been that way, and it isnt a problem per se. this whole ethics in journo crap is a bunch of ignorant dudes getting rope a doped by outside right wing woman hating shitheels that convince them that their little special world is under attack. ive got a whole conspiratorial swing here that wonders if koch brother style operators are standing by to mobilize low info voters into sandbagging womens issues for years because feminazis are stealing their precious RTS man club.
― Ass Tchotchke! (jjjusten), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:14 (nine years ago) link
Someone throw some cash at me, I'll do some objective videogame reviews.
"This game is 1.1 GB in size, which is 300 MB larger than its predecessor."
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:22 (nine years ago) link
^ But are these numbers in base 2 or base 10? Is DJP actually a biased Mac gamer?
― 龜, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:23 (nine years ago) link
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-90-second-guide-to-determine-if-your-internet-cause-bs/1817 comments; don't read any of themi found this because i had the thought "what does seanbaby think about gamergate?" i had that thought. time for a break
― Steve 'n' Seagulls and Flock of Van Dammes (forksclovetofu), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:25 (nine years ago) link
just look at this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Gamergate_controversy
don't actually
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:32 (nine years ago) link
xp Late to the party I'm afraid, Dan.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:32 (nine years ago) link
is that one of their new sites?
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:35 (nine years ago) link
Our mission is to bring you the most objective video game reviews on the Internet.
Why? Because you’ve asked for them.
For years, gamers have called for reviews to be more objective. Every few months, there is some controversy about a new game that got a score that was too high or too low. Gamers blame the opinions of those who write reviews. Game journalists have their own ideas about what makes a game good or bad, and these ideas influence the score they give to games.
Enter Objective Game Reviews.
We solve this problem by reviewing games without letting our personal opinion get in the way. All of the reviews we write are 100% objective, guaranteed. When you read a game review from Objective Game Reviews, you can trust that what we say is not based on our own biases or opinions.
No more opinion. No more subjectivity. No more controversy.
Here at Objective Game Reviews, you can finally read a review without worrying about the opinion of the author. So, go ahead! Browse our reviews and discover a new game you will love!
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:36 (nine years ago) link
bonkers
http://www.objectivegamereviews.com/titanfall-review/
is this a joke
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:37 (nine years ago) link
omfg
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link
uuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
http://www.objectivegamereviews.com/anne-hathaway-erotic-mouthscape-review/
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link
reads like a 9
― bizarro gazzara, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:41 (nine years ago) link
Surprised nobody's come up with objectivepitchforkreviews.com yet
― 龜, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:41 (nine years ago) link
Paging David Shapiro
― 龜, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:42 (nine years ago) link
http://www.objectivegamereviews.com/bioshock-infinite-review/
"In 1857, George Fitzhugh argued that slavery should not be abolished..."
― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:43 (nine years ago) link
The graphics in BioShock Infinite are in a realistic style, with the exception of the woman Booker aims to retrieve, Elizabeth, who has eyes that are larger than actual eyes.
I'm dying
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:45 (nine years ago) link
haha yes that one jumped off the page
― Nhex, Monday, 27 October 2014 17:54 (nine years ago) link
yeah even the fig leaf of "ethics" has nothing to do with "how dare these pixel-stained wretches accept free hors d'oeuvres at the Activision party" and everything to do with "how dare these pixel-stained wretches review cultural artifacts as artifacts of culture"
― resulting post (rogermexico.), Monday, 27 October 2014 17:58 (nine years ago) link
I just realized that Objective Game Reviews tags all of its reviews with the eventual score so there is literally no reason to read any of their reviews aside from lols
― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 18:08 (nine years ago) link
not to just link these guys all the time, but this is still an ultimate classic and more relevant every day: http://www.oldmanmurray.com/features/39.html
Game developers have known the answer to the first question since the early 1980's: ammo and health can be hidden inside crates or sometimes barrels. As often happens, the answer to the second question was hidden in plain sight within the answer to the first. All games contain crates, therefore all games can be judged empirically on those crates. Once we came up with that insight, the actual formula for the world's first completely unbiased review methodology was a trivial matter of applying our many hours spent watching actors portray scientists on television to our hatred of crates. Games can be rated and compared based on the shortest amount of time it takes a player to reach the first crate, which represents the point where the developers ran out of ideas.
Once we came up with that insight, the actual formula for the world's first completely unbiased review methodology was a trivial matter of applying our many hours spent watching actors portray scientists on television to our hatred of crates. Games can be rated and compared based on the shortest amount of time it takes a player to reach the first crate, which represents the point where the developers ran out of ideas.
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:10 (nine years ago) link
The music in Titanfall is in an orchestral style.
― am0n, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:22 (nine years ago) link
B:I review does not state that it takes place in an alternate history, just objective, historically accurate "1912".
― ©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 27 October 2014 18:27 (nine years ago) link
Sorry if this was already clear to everyone but based on the Subjective Reviewer of the Month feature and their choice of interviewees I'm very confident that the rest of the site is indeed satire.
― Iain Mew (if), Monday, 27 October 2014 18:35 (nine years ago) link
Matt Binder @MattBinder 18m18 minutes ago.@realmattforney lmao. Matt Forney, the "publisher" of Matt Forney dot com is you, Matt Forney https://twitter.com/realmattforney/status/526719995376435202
Matt Binder @MattBinder 16m16 minutes agowhat is it with these guys pretending their own personal website is some huge conglomerate https://twitter.com/mattbinder/status/524339232861859841
comically grandiose
― lag∞n, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:47 (nine years ago) link
like at least the one guy pretending his website is more than just him had the sense to not just name it his own name
learning about matt forney vs learning about wizardchan as the most vomitous fallout of all this
― Clay, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:51 (nine years ago) link
like obv there has been way worse stuff but I expect that terrible stuff. I somehow don't expect matt forney.
― Clay, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:53 (nine years ago) link
feel like matt forney is funnier because of his sorry ass self promoting media wannabe moves where wizardchan is just depressing and deeply strange
― lag∞n, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:54 (nine years ago) link
I do v much appreciate his avatar for sure
― Clay, Monday, 27 October 2014 18:56 (nine years ago) link