hate reading: C/D

I guess it's been useful in that it has, finally, explained to me, a phenomenon of which I've been aware of for a long time, but found absolutely mystifying.

Like, at first, I did not understand what the linked article had to do with hate-reading - it just seemed to be confirmation of that phenomenon which has been known since the days of antiquity, i.e. 'making yourself feel better about your own situation by contemplating those less fortunate than yourself.' Like, what the hell does that have to do with hate-reading, with that purposeful seeking out of people or opinions or situations to feel outraged by?

I have long been aware of the phenomenon of what I call 'watch-boys' on the internet. It's hard not to be aware of them, existing in a space marked female, and speaking often with other women about it. The phenomenon of the person (usually, but not exclusively male) who gets kinda obsessed with you, and follows you from thread to thread on a messageboard - and if you leave the messageboard, will follow you down to your social media or your blog, for the purpose of observing you, tutting at you, and it seems to be really important to these guys that they want you to *know* that they are observing you and disapproving of you.

I never, ever understood the *why*. If one truly doesn't like someone, surely the best thing to do is avoid them! Like, in some cases, it's very obviously a blatant attempt at exercising control. But in others, it is about the observation and the tut. And they get obsessed. In my case, I always want to say to them: "Dude. We have already established that I am execrable, I am terrible, I am the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst and I am a deeply flawed human being - but if that is all true, then what the hell does it say about *you*, that you cannot stop yourself from watching and pursuing such a terrible creature?"

But I guess that article explains what they *think* they get out of it - it's not just about control and observation. It's about their attempts to make themselves feel better by viewing someone they see as contemptible and less than human. Which makes me laugh!

Because there are two possibly outcomes from that kind of behaviour. There is the sense of being made aware of the ways in which you are fortunate, to express gratitude for your own blessings and relief at the burdens you do not have to bear. And that, I believe, is good for your soul (or your character or your personality or your psychological state or however you want to express it.) But there is the other outcome - which is to become smug and superior and allow yourself to become consumed with hatred for the Other one sees as less than human. Which is incredibly corrosive to one's soul.

So I guess that it is helpful, partly as explanation of behaviour I find not just curious and inexplicable but also scary, but again as *warning*. I generally don't hate-read. I mean, for a start, who has the time. I get enough hatefulness put in my path without seeking out any more. But it's also good to remember why to avoid hate and hate-reading, not because of what it says about the other person, but what it says about you. The correct response is pity, not fear. Pity can lead to compassion. Fear leads only to hatred. And there's enough misery to go round without seeking it out.

not clicking that cause it's vice & I try not to hate-read

Huh, had no idea about the non-product related Amazon forums.

feel like vice-guy is addressing two kinds of hate reading. hate reading to make sure that this asshole is still wrong, and then schadenfreude reading when you read of the misfortunes of someone you dislike - esp if it's clear that the person's odious behavior is the cause of their woes. it's not just the fleeting joy of watching a bad person get just desserts, but i think more lasting - the confirmation that you were right about that person and that reality confirms your initial reaction. idk i often feel unsure about interactions online. is this person really as bad as they appear, or is this shtick for the internet? they can't possibly act this way in real life, can they? but then you note that they do and you realize that their poor personality has nothing to do w/ you. that can be a nice feeling, to note that it's not personal. they act that way everywhere.

jeez I'm right fuckin here man

Branwell, I think that is stalking behavior. "Hate reading" isn't supposed to be personal, I think. I might "hate read" anti-abortion or anti-AA opinions - I hope it wouldn't be about an individual or personality.

I am feeling very frustrated because I am working on something and it will. just. not. fucking. work. I spent 15 hours on it yesterday and the same the day before. Today I am looking at a similar day

Today i understand the urge to hate read. I understand the urge to comment. I am feeling incredibly frustrated and irritated. I'm too frustrated to switch off, to watch something else, to do anything nice. Because until ive cracked this thing I cant enjoy anything else. And the feeling wont go away. Ive read something i dont care about, ive commented. Its not hate reading, but it sort of is. All i have at this minute is annoyance and theres nowhere for it to go until i make this thing work

What im angry at is myself, why cant i do it? why is it so hard

Hate Reads By the Numbers

I've found something meaty to "hate read": Obama impeachment advocates. Because I don't think these people should be raising children if they have such a casual attitude toward government.

guess i should say i don't even "hate-visit," i'm just morbidly curious about what other people are capable of believing or "being" in a voyeuristic way, the thrill wears off when the normality / banality of a relative "checking in" on their home page appears or w/e.

i have a private twitter list of hate-follows. i enjoy it greatly. i don't follow any of them, in the twitter sense, so i can dip into this separate pool of discourse and maybe learn something, maybe laugh, maybe just reconfirm that i picked these people well. they are not all conservative but that is the through-line of the list, plus a certain uniqueness, idiosyncrasy, not being a standard anything, so out of the crowd of them you can kind of get the picture of MOR antiliberalism. the other criteria is that they not tweet too much. plenty of people are hate worthy but just smothering and boring.

what is always alarming and fun is when these *very* disparate people start speaking the same language, who retweets whom, how ideas percolate around in various interlocking interests and oppositions.

that sounds like a twilight zone episode waiting to happen

what is always alarming and fun is when these *very* disparate people start speaking the same language

― goole, Monday, September 14, 2015 8:37 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sounds like a particular message board

well, right! people are all the same, in a lot of ways.

sounds like particular threads on a particular message board

sounds like particular users on particular threads on a particular message board

h8 when disparate people speak the same language

that sounds like a twilight zone episode waiting to happen

sounds like particular users on particular subjects in particular threads on a particular message board

h8 when disparate people speak the same language

feel like you guys are SO close to some serious revelations

we're just giving interested parties a thread which delivers

what are you doing in the h8 reading thread outic seems u ...... h8 reading it....

well, right!

I have a love/hate reading relationship

people are all the same

just reminded myself of one of my worst threads, which I just hate-read

women's football?

EH, DRAT: THE RAD THREAD of HATRED fo' DEARTH of RED HAT (fo' HE-TARD)

blah blah first response hall of fame blah that's offensive

it's okay, pal. just close all the windows and shut down. we all have our days

xp :)