Real England

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBtd3H3Qdi8&feature=youtu.be

Thanks for putting the thread back on course.

just doing my job sir

This is Mohammed Azam Yaqoob aka "Mr Sparkles" (the name of his modest car wash business in Dewsbury) and a convicted heroin trafficker. I know an Asian guy who grew up with Mohammed and described him as "thick as fuck" and a "disgrace to his great family". I like the guy and tbf it takes some intelligence to become a major drug trafficker and I always root for the maligned odd one out of a successful family. Of his siblings; one brother is an eminent surgeon at St James hospital, the other brother is the governor of Wakefield prison, one sister runs a successful chain of dentists and the other is a barrister.
http://i4.examiner.co.uk/incoming/article7770288.ece/alternates/s615/JS46327222.jpg

that front garden should be finished by the time he comes out

He never got planning permission and it is in more on the Ukip side of the Mirfield/Ravensthorpe borderlands so it is a focal point for local outrage and for years it has been rumoured there will be a demolition order. When he gets out if it doesn't get pulled down he will struggle to sell it because of it's frequent local rag ubiquity.

xelab that is the best of all of your posts

Yaqoob, of North Road, Ravensthorpe, was jailed for nine years and four months after pleading guilty to conspiracy to supply class A drugs at an earlier hearing.

Ten years ago, he was at the centre of a planning row over a £1m house in Huddersfield Road, Mirfield, allegedly built without planning permission.

Kirklees Council ordered it to be pulled down but Yaqoob overturned the decision on appeal.

just a mensch in so many categories....opportunistic drug trafficker, exurban mansion builder, scorner of good taste, successful planning appeal litigant, confiscation order refusenik

got a lot of love for these sorts of spivs and chancers

http://i.imgur.com/fEtGGiP.jpg

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2014/10/24/wanted-16m-heroin-haul-suspects-sought-by-police-after-oldbury-raid/

i was reading that Express and Star bit last week, i agree about hilarious roguery but also some of these guys have probly had people seriously fucked up when necessary so swings and roundabouts

these people look like the sort of speculative daytrippers who end up getting abducted and threatened by actual gangsters, most serious organized criminals realizing that the latter is less risky than trying to import large quantities of class a themselves

man if you could suck ur own dick I bet you would

the things i could accomplish if uk landfill posters ever tried to get their nhs dentures off of my dick

well ex-Vice.com freelancers surrounded by empty packs of Twiglets have an inherently low ceiling so don't be so hard on yourself mate

http://trimsalonthus.nl/trimbeurt/dorke-een-chow-chow-pup/

he was a better vice writer than you pal

is there some kind of silent alarm in yr sub-Loi brain that goes off whenever one of the many ilxors you are a perennial bitch-boy for gets insulted

marc loi is a better writer than you.

coming from the benighted clown prince of ILE that is quite the compliment

I like twiglets

we ever twig 'burger

or bodied by a wight call

How come when ppl go in on nakh it's always immediately after he posts something completely innocuous and normal

dgmw croney seems on the realer end of that Spectrum and I enjoyed his or her pissy non sequitur

"bitch-boy" isn't cool tho

maybe they think nakh is idling & will not immediately retort with something fatal

seconder, hypeman, w/e lol

i'm hype for many ilxors tbf

we appreciate it

The actual reason I revived this, kebab shop display counter using decorative green bell peppers in visibly advanced state of dehydration (wrinkled to fuck) tell me bros is it Real England?

Genuine question, I'm pretty sure I do this thread wrong and the vague sense that I'm being arctic kaiser chief kebab shop amirite niggles at me

As does the less vague sense that Lj advocacy is a poisoned chalice but we minor posters take what we can

insofar as Real England is both a pretence and an inadvertent sincerity, yes it quite possibly is, although elements of Real Turkey and Real Kebab impinge I'm sure

my advocacy is to be cherished tbqfh

when I used to prepare display counters I always used decent fruit but you had a little more leeway with sprigs of coriander, which you could use a little longer just for display. seems dubious that very half arsed attempts at freshness are distinctly english imo

https://twitter.com/Dazzawwfc1985/status/533571537753083904

come on me babbies

'tis the season: http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/nov/23/winter-wonderland-designed-laurence-llewelyn-bowen-shuts-complaints

Story lets itself down with no photos of joyless muddy fields and pound shop father christmas gear, unfortunately. Lol @ Father Christmas being great showbiz mates with Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen tho.

otm, I was wanting the usual pics (depressed roebuck in a pen marked 'rudolph'), but happy with "the elf who is meant to be Simon Cowell is completely pointless"

this is amazing

the link in the comments provides all you two crave, and then some:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/1.stm

new forest lapland looks a lot better in hindsight for some reason. had it's own ilx thread at the time iirc

ahh here we go: Has anyone been to the Lapland Theme Park?

last post from that thread:

26 October 2011

Two brothers jailed for misleading customers at a Lapland-themed park have had their convictions quashed after it emerged a juror had been texting during the trial.

Victor Mears, 67, and Henry Mears, 60, both of Brighton, ran the Lapland New Forest attraction in 2008.

Three Court of Appeal judges ruled their convictions under Trading Standards legislation were unsafe.

^ a hoogstraten-esque escape from doing time - wondering if these two blundering chancers were erstwhile associates?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/12/08/article-1336854-0C67012C000005DC-490_634x566.jpg

hell yes, threatening the prosecution

Henry Mears, of Coombe Road, Brighton, is alleged to have made comments taken as threats of violence to barrister Gary Lucie during his original trial.

He is also accused of making a further comment outside the court about punching the barrister in the face.

Mears, 60, appearing at Bristol Crown Court, denies contempt of court.

Giving evidence, Mr Lucie said Mears told him that "mechanisms were in place to hold those responsible" for bringing the Lapland trial to court.

That Graun section is incredible - befuddled middle class parents, furious dickhead anti-consumerist warriors, lone representative of the Finnish tourist board, it's got the lot.

if you take your kids to see Santa in November then fuck you is how i break it down to some extent

Ukip side of the Mirfield/Ravensthorpe

do you mean the dewsbury side rather than the huddersfield side?

I am referring to Mirfield which is on the Huddersfield side and is mostly white apart from the London Park estate. About a decade ago I did a mutual exchange to a house in Mirfield with an Asian bloke who couldn't realistically move his family into Mirfield so they were cramped into his brothers' house until he could find an exchangee.

Praise be for the mutual exchange system because it was a dreadful area with loathsome neighbours and we exchanged the fuck back where we came from after a year. I suppose if I am honest it was my up my own arse white flight period, but what a mistake it proved to be. Every time I see Patrick Stewart on tv I always think to myself "what an archetypal Mirfield cunt".

how bad is the racial segregation in that part of the world?