Bad sex writing 2014

u will have busted a nult

now there's some slash fiction that really shouldn't happen

Curious to know if the people who select these are fans of sex scenes or erotica writing at all, or they just stick to mainstream novels.

Wonder what their favourite scenes would read like

Not all of these are flat out terrible, some are just sort of average. I can't help but think people just find something so inherently embarrassing about vivid descriptions of sex that there's a very high bar to not be "bad." That said, I think the most bathetic one is actually #7, due to the extreme proximity of the pseudo-profound "And when it hits her, it slams her hard and fast, as life once had" to the phrase "cups his balls."

Yeah, #7, that's my pick. The whole thing has an awful creative writing workshop stench to it.

#6 is hilarious

It's hard for me to believe that Haruki Murakami didn't mean for that to be funny/ridiculous

By all means, if ppl wanna start throwing in what they think is some good sex scene writing, have at it

Some of #2 might be forgiven since it's written from the perspective of someone in the 16th century BCE. But then there's "The sweet dew of feminine arousal glistened upon them."

WS Burroughs was great at this imo

Curious to know if the people who select these are fans of sex scenes or erotica writing at all, or they just stick to mainstream novels.

― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, November 13, 2014 1:02 PM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wonder what their favourite scenes would read like

― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, November 13, 2014 1:04 PM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm not sure, how about you? *rests chin on hands*

we shd have a sex scene competition tbh, like the poetry one but more arousing

oh yes, nothing i love more than a bottle of rose, a hot bath, and naked lunch as a guide to my evening's adventures.

lol yeah I didn't say I found them arousing

is that the goal of sex scenes in modern novels, to arouse the reader?

i'm permalinking that post imago

not necessarily. when i write sex scenes it's either to advance the narrative or segue between tones

oh good matt, you're in favour

I just think he was good at writing them and integrating them into his work, they were part and parcel with his overall themes/ideas, they didn't stand out as some stupid, separate detour intended to titillate the reader

xp

we shd have a sex scene competition tbh, like the poetry one but more arousing

― imago, Thursday, November 13, 2014 9:07 PM (8 minutes ago)

This would be hilarious and embarrassing and awesome.

*shudders*

oh come now, you'd write a darling shag

i love stupid, separate detours intended to titillate the reader, the weirder and more awkward the better.

basically i would support a prose version of RIP nsfws

before i do anything, do u have iltmi on sna matt. i wish to avoid the no way

"imma let you finish but imago had the greatest sex scene of iltmi! ILTMI!"

check out the sex face on this tolstoy

i'm not sure, how about you? *rests chin on hands*

― mattresslessness, Thursday, 13 November 2014

Most erotica I've read is terrible, but works on certain levels, so I kept reading it. Can't think of anything I'd wholly recommend and even if I did find something I thought was amazing, I doubt most of you would want to read it.

Apart from the hair whip and vagina vacuum I thought the Murakami one was pretty good. That's one of the ones I supposed might be fantasy or science fiction.

lusty-lusty rims had

xp I guess

before i do anything, do u have iltmi on sna matt. i wish to avoid the no way

― imago, Thursday, November 13, 2014 2:20 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i haven't no-wayd iltmi since sick mouthy updated the masturbation thread and would feel cheap and low-down if i went back to that well.

lol ok. also lol

Most erotica I've read is terrible, but works on certain levels

http://de-smitten.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/lower-level-blick.jpg

It's the same with visual art, some people can't draw very well and have really bad style but nonetheless are good at imagining and conveying certain situations. Real guilty pleasure stuff.

ILX 2014 Sex Writing Awards

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pudenda ftw