Real England

first rule of Real England club is that nobody gives much of a fuck about the monarchy - which is a pan-European institution if anything

Hey, I'll take whatever fuck you don't give and give less of one. I think it's interesting, though, to have a system of succession rooted in invented bullshit be revealed to be rooted in historically inaccurate invented bullshit.

if you have ever read anything about the history of any dynasty ever you will have been aware that many kings were supposed to have been sired by someone other than their legal father

Sure! But genetic proof is a new twist, no?

not sure! since Richard III there have been at least 3 coups plus a bunch of non-direct descendants so without reading this new info i'm kind of surprised the current family has ever claimed much in the way of direct descent?

ok a quick skim reveals this is about the legitimacy of Henry VII's claim which i think has been srsly questioned by historians for a while, this feels like evidence on top of what was already thought rather than a real ground-shaker

But they say the Y chromosome finding "could be of key historical significance." False paternity in John of Gaunt's family could mean that Plantagenet kings such as Henry V had no genetic claim to their thrones. The study states, "This would also hold true, indirectly, for the entire Tudor line," including Elizabeth I and Henry VIII.

Still, the genes can't reveal exactly when the break in paternity occurred. And fortunately for today's royal-watchers, Queen Elizabeth II descended from a different family line.

there you go. as nakh says tho, hard to think of any monarchical lineage of any length that isn't at least part mythological

the suggestion is that an 18th century duke was not a patrilineal descendant, there are several centuries of non-royal antecedents between him and the king

“There are 19 links in this chain, five of them could affect royal descent. So statistically the chances are it actually has had no effect at all. But it would be worthwhile investigating further to try and understand more fully where that breakage occurred,” Professor Shurer said.

And fortunately for today's royal-watchers, Queen Elizabeth II descended from a different family line.

― poptimisty mounting pop (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 20:10 (6 minutes ago)

the other week i was in a cab stuck in traffic circumnavigating buckingham palace and having given up hope of getting anywere on time i was just staring at the royal-watchers and the victorian normcore-brutalist edifice itself, the political prison ceaucescu would have built if he had survived the coup

the royal-watcher population seems to be almost entirely foreign and oddly torpid, what is it they are hoping to see exactly? the inertial lack of the spectacular as paradoxical anti-spectacle, children scuffing their shoes, periodic commotions as tour groups in brownian motion are summoned together, that vast red asphalt tegument like the running track surrounding a soviet football stadium, a couple of praetorian squaddies with bayoneted assault rifles, the endless soot black perimeter walls delimiting an unseemly amount of hyperprime real estate that will never be realized

I would happily see every one of these Saxe-Coburg fucks executed in a dingy cellar just like their worthless fucking Romanov relatives. The royalty gazing faction are laughable sub-human scum and fuck them. If all you want from life is to gaze at inbred cousin fuckers in big houses then you deserve some kind of fatal disease.

gaze at inbred cousin fuckers in big houses

I smell the best series of Big Brother yet!

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/hope-and-despair-at-the-watford-jobfair

^ will not disappoint, Real fans

"“Watford is not Liverpool. In Watford if you want a job, I’m not saying you can pick and choose, but there are opportunities available.”"

Isn't that a line from the 'Anfield Rap'?

Baby-faced-yob-10-given-ASBO-banning-meeting-friends-hanging-shops-terrorising-local-community-older-brother.html

not content with having a lower age of criminal responsibility than uzbekistan, bolivia or uganda, now the enlightened english public get to see the police photos of 10 year old boys published in a national newspaper

http://i.imgur.com/3SK1fkU.png

Young Advisor Clive

http://i.imgur.com/Ubbbpad.jpg

I’m Clive & I’m 21 years old. I’ve been involved with U R Boss for over a year. I’ve had the chance to talk to MPs and also been to a Youth Offending Team in Birmingham to speak to young people there. I enjoy my part in U R Boss and wouldn’t change it for the world.

Copyright © 2011 the Howard League for Penal Reform.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAhEFuq62-I

not so much the titular hero, tho he seems real enough, but his sudden overwhelming surge into the national consciousness

RIP White Van Dan. Nov 2014-Nov 2014.

that cunt is alluded to in this unusually reflective telegraph article

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/competitions/premier-league/11282658/Manchester-United-fan-Andy-Tate-and-Arsenals-Claude-the-Gooner-become-YouTube-hits.-But-why.html

idk if i would say jonathan liew is a particularly good journalist even by fitba standards but he seems to be doing something right judging by the borderline racist btl vitriol he gets

trad fitba journalism is very real and here rob shep shepherd, formerly serving at her majesty's pleasure, intermittently serving at lord rothermere's pleasures, takes umbrage at one of his own being sidelined in favour of this interloper

https://twitter.com/iLShep/status/534394374067847168

that's a decent piece altho the fact that it's been exclusively working class kids who i've heard running Wealdstone Raider catchphrases into the ground these last couple of weeks says that the memeification is more complex than only "lol proles"

I love these photos from the failed Yorkshire Magical Winterland event.
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03136/harrogate_3136434k.jpg
http://news.images.itv.com/image/file/547146/article_update_img.jpg
Despite promising a winter walk, a Frozen singalong and a chance to feed Santa’s reindeer, excited families were faced with a desolate scene of disappointment after paying £20 per ticket.

struggling to think what wouldn't be a desolate scene of disappointment if i was paying 20 quid a ticket

true!

i wonder if the seasonal loss of any sense of financial reality that comes over some parents is a Real England issue or a global phenom

I am probably slightly evil and misanthropic, but my sympathy rating is zero for those that got ripped in this case. On the other hand I am just as fucked as them, only so many times you can extend your overdraft with fuck all going in.

let's say one parent takes a couple of kids thats £60 before you've got in to something that's probly been knocked up in a fortnight, it's not quite three-card monte but it's still like begging to be gulled

I see that wakefield kirkgate station is finally getting done?

Paying 20 quid per ticket to enter a 'Yorkshire's Magical Winterland' only to see it fail miserably or get cancelled all together is pretty Real England to me. You paid up knowing, or should've known, it would fail miserably in the first place tbh. 20 quid magical winterlands don't happen in Yorkshire. It get's cold there, for sure, but it's a cold you can do without. If you throw 20 quid towards a spectacle this unlikely, yes, that is Real Englang to me tbh.

lol truth

listening to marmozets cos of the end of year thread and it made me wonder what bingley was like

Notable people

The Ickeringill family, which included the noted Chartists Isaac Ickeringill (b. 1803) and his brother George (b. 1810) [10][11] and Ira Ickringill (spelling accurate) (b. 1836), the Bradford mill founder,[12] inventor and Mayor of Keighley,[13] were born, raised and lived in Bingley.
Percy Vear Professional Boxer. Born Crossflatts, Bingley, July 12, 1911
Fred Hoyle Astronomer. Born Bingley, 24 June 1915
John Braine Author of Room at the Top. Worked in Bingley Library until 1942.
Chris Spence Journalist. Born Bingley 8 June 1970
Peter Sutcliffe Serial Killer. Born Bingley 2 June 1946
Rodney Bewes Actor, most famous role Bob Ferris in The Likely Lads. Born in Bingley 27 November 1938.
Muriel Aked Actress, born 9 November 1887 in Bingley, died 21 March 1955 in Settle.[14]
Pat Kirkwood Musical theatre actress, lived in Bingley in her later years.[15]
William Twiss, (1745–1827), Royal Engineer and designer of the Martello Tower, lived in Bingley on retirement and is buried in All Saints Church, Bingley.
Marmozets Band formed in Bingley in 2011.

RIP White Van Dan. Nov 2014-Nov 2014.

pretty lol when it dawned on Murdoch press that giving this guy exposure was just making people think Thornberry otm.

xp
quite a lot on Bingley's bingleyness at the start of gordon burn's book on the ripper.

Serious question: can anyone point to an example of one of these 'Winter Wonderland' type things that hasn't been a hilariously cynical rip off organised by career criminals?

dude, christmas is a hilariously cynical rip off organised by career criminals tbh

Winterland, 'ever get the feeling you've been cheated?' lol

xp: ur like the guy in the story who didn't like christmas and was mean but then something happened and he did like christmas and being kind after all

Jesus IIRC

http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article4795694.ece/alternates/s1227b/Yorkshires-Magical-Winterland-in-Harrogate.jpg

Shout out to leggings and foofy boots in background

xp: ur like the guy in the story who didn't like christmas and was mean but then something happened and he did like christmas and being kind after all

i thought of the funniest response to that, then i googled it and 33,000 other clowns had got there first

Serious question: can anyone point to an example of one of these 'Winter Wonderland' type things that hasn't been a hilariously cynical rip off organised by career criminals?

Hyde Park Winter Wonderland? Like obvs it's a rip-off etc, but it's v v pro, probably does what it says,

london is not real england

i had no idea there were so many of these things.
liking the Chester one, sponsored by MBNA card services and ft. Matalan's Grotto.

Real Englanders definitely visit Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland, though: I'm trying to make sure my visiting cousin realises that, mainly so I don't have to go there.

Much of the Hyde Park infrastructure seems to have been imported wholesale from Germany, which goes some way towards explaining the professionalism. People seem to enjoy it - but there are no upfront ticket costs so you need to gull people into buying overpriced chestnuts via a good customer experience rather than gulling them into buying tickets for up front for a dog dressed as a reindeer.

Much of the Hyde Park infrastructure seems to have been imported wholesale from Germany

Would say Xmas has been getting very Ersatz indeed what wif all these Xmas markets everywhere

http://www.lrb.co.uk/v36/n24/james-meek/worse-than-a-defeat