Beer in the new era

did she make it through the whole glass of 3f?

I've only had one of my BCS bottles this year, but whether it was the day or night or just good timing, it tasted so stupidly perfect that I just wanted to curl up and go to sleep and dream of the next one. But then, I've been plowing through a pile of New Glarus lately, and that stuff is so mild/subtle compared to BCS that maybe it was just the contrast.

Anyone else see this? Pretty funny, I thought: http://www.reddit.com/r/beercirclejerk/comments/2ktktj/2015_craft_beer_predictions/

To save everyone the link:

2015 Craft Beer Predictions

January

Bell's does not release a session IPA. It would be called '1 hearted' if it existed, but it doesn't.
Some dicks get like $100K on kickstarter to open a brewery

February

Some brewery in bumfuck nowhere, Nebraska, probably? releases 8 bottles of a BA imperial stout. Hanes profits rise as all beer nerds replace the underwear they just shit.
Yuengling continues its slow, determined march into a new market that doesn't care about it.

March

The Bruery announces its latest beer is infected. beer geeks are PISSED because they were super pumped to spend $30 on a bomber of it.
Oberon is released, beer nerds rejoice. Finally, a hoppy wheat ale is widely available.

April

KBS comes out, and the brand-new baby beer nerds go nuts, asking about how to cellar it. They're advised to drink it fresh, but don't listen.
3 floyds releases DL. It's better than 2012.

May

Dogfish releases a beer with Ringo Starr featuring beetle shells or some shit
Some idiot writes another stupid article about 'what is craft beer??', and beer nerds shout their opinions at one another

June

Bell's continues to release a wide line of great, to-style beers at fair prices
The brewer's association raises the volume cap on the definition of a craft brewery

July

Some sours come out, are the new IPAs
the BJCP releases new style guidelines, recognizing the following new styles: East Coast American IPA, West Coast American IPA, and Delaware Imperial IPA/Barleywine hybrid

August

Flying Dog becomes the first major brewery in america to produce a cock ale. They call it 'PUT THIS COCK IN YOUR MOUTH' and the label has a trippy drawing of a penis on it.

September

An ancient beer recipe for a bavarian-style lager is found by an archaeologist in what's know known as St. Louis, Missouri. The archaeologist teams up with Dogfish Head to reproduce this forgotten, refreshing 'american-style pilsner'

October

Lagunitas and Stone go 'in costume' as each other for a month. Lagunitas IPA is put in Stone IPA bottles, Stone IPA is put in Lagunitas IPA bottles, nobody fucking notices.
Bell's continues to not release a session IPA. It continues to not be called '1 hearted'

November

Goose Island releases bourbon county in 30 racks. The propietor's reserve is malort-barrel aged, and features poppy seeds, yellow mustard, chopped white onions, bright green sweet pickle relish, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, pickled sport peppers and a dash of celery salt. ISO.

December

Those dicks who got all that kickstarter money release their first beer and it's super infected and gross. ISO anyway
The Bruery cuts the shit, releases 7 swans a swimming, made with REAL FUCKING SWANS.

OTM

haha I saw that on fb and thought about posting it

also Bell's session IPA is 2 Hearted imo

did she make it through the whole glass of 3f?

Nah, which was probably my master plan the whole time to drink it all.

FYI, I'm drinking a lot in the new era tonight, hence the chatty posts.

founders cbs tapping here in two days but i don't know if i can make it

Seen it hitting around Michigan. Honestly, I think it is going to be such a cluster if it gets here I would probably avoid it.

CBS was one of the first whalez I had, won it at a raffle at a local liquor store a few years ago. Wonderful beer, but it is one of those that there will just be mass hysteria around when it is released again.

durnk

Pig Minds Vanilla Bitch Slap: fantastic cream soda-esque red ale, I think? Super smooth, just enough vanilla.

Marz Umami Stout: this http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2014/12/15/yes-marz-community-brewing-aged-a-mushroom-stout-in-soy-sauce-barrels-and-i-drank-it is good, I can't explain it better than the article.

Surly Damien: hoppy brown? Sort of, but I thought it was pretty standard for a Midwest brown, like Best Brown from Bells but had the Surly "edge"

I refuse to drink Pig Minds. They just seem like awful people.

I'm sure other brewers are awful people too, but at least they don't wear it so clearly on their labels.

It was on draft so there wasn't a label, but that sounds like my reasoning for not drinking Local Option products due to the nazi imagery they use, intentionally or not.

vanilla bitch slap is a grotesque name for a beer

speaking of vanilla, been realizing more and more that i don't have much of a taste for these super sweet, dessert-like chocolate milkshake-tasting stouts that have been very common lately. when i want something very dark and roasty i've been going for porters much more often

btw i love the founders porter but they need to ditch the "dark rich and sexy" slogan, it's some stupid fuckin shit

too many beer bros brewing

Browers

I hate the labels and names of 90% of these beers. Even by the standards of shitty art so much of the shit is totally shitty. They seem like Pushead crossed with some dude doodling on some primitive paint program crossed with the stuff I see tagged on bridges and overpasses. And then the cherry on top is the stupid name they pick. Everything's, like, a viking with grills on his teeth puking rainbows up a woman's skirt. I call that beer "Rainbow Legged." Or "Up Yours." Or "Erik the Thigh-King."

where is Battle the beer label fascist when we need him

more 10 Barrel backlash:

http://www.oregonlive.com/business/index.ssf/2014/12/anheuser-busch_inbev_acquisiti.html#incart_river

Ugh GISing Pig Minds stuff tells the tale. Wow.

so many breweries with such terrible aesthetics. i'd imagine there's no real incentive for them to hire a legit graphic designer when they can just get their bro friends to get high and draw some stupid shit and it'll sell anyways

though in most cases it seems like they have the logo dialed in, and still fail miserably when it comes to packaging

There are some places that seem to have their act together - I will again rep for No-Li out of Spokane, whose packaging I really love (they rebranded a couple years ago, it was terrible before that). But right next to one of their beers in my fridge is a Lagunitas Little Sumpin which is all the worst in one shot - awful design, stupid name, sexist imagery. But a good beer.

Pig Minds stuff looks really awful though, especially shit like the PD. But then again the name of the brewery kind of tips you off I guess?

yeah there are a lot of good ones out there actually, esp on the west coast. i dig breakside's look actually, they clearly have a graphic designer on hand:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qBBaIx7ImvY/VG5g02xaKqI/AAAAAAAADVQ/S4Wt0SyLh6Q/s1600/la%2Bsour.jpg

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/66/1d/8b/661d8bd7eea8d964ed4c1b8ad88a9056.jpg

ugh sorry those are huge

Fremont are my favorite. They have an artist on staff and it really shows. Just very consistent, classy, and fit with the NW aesthetic.

so has southern tier declined in quality? i've not been super-impressed with them lately, though it's been a while since i've tried their 22oz styles. i remember their winter ale being a lot better than the one i'm drinking now. also i am getting tired of them naming everything "2XIPA" or "2XMAS ALE"

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2014/12/pop-your-fav-brew-for-this-gallery.html

Fullstream ones are great:

http://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/system/images/photo_albums/beer-can-designs/large/beer-28.jpg?1384968217

yea that's great! i dig westbrook a lot:

http://chsbeer.org/sites/default/files/imagecache/custom_1000px/_mg_3244.jpg

Evil Twin Molotov Lite, much better than expected. Taste kind of like Heady Topper.

those are beautiful! xp

got my canadian breakfast stout tick tonight. i am a maple syrup fan so it was a good beer.

Cool to see local startup Bauhaus getting some love in that article.

And yeah, Molotov lite is in my top 5 surprises of the year, along with the evil twin Westbrook hose. It's an absolute killer IIPA

yeah i really dig all the westbrook cans, and fremont has a nice look as well.

passed on molotov lite the other day b/c i thought i remembered hearing bad things. will grab it next time i have a chance though.

also tried sixpoint resin for the first time recently, they just began distributing in portland. not bad for an easy-to-find IIPA, i'd take it over torpedo any day

pricier than torpedo though yea? tbh i'm not a huge fan of torpedo but it's good enough. sixpoint in general i very skeptical of but i have not tried resin

yeah i don't really know anything about sixpoint's repuation on the east coast (bro-y i take it?), i wouldn't necessarily go out of my way for their stuff, and yes it is a few dollars pricier than torpedo. there are a million local options i'd prefer to resin, but it was better than i expected

their beers are expensive and there's almost always a better alternative for a given style available.

sixpoint's reputation afaik is more "BROOKLYN EVERYBODY! CRAFT BEER FROM BROOKLYN!! BECAUSE BROOKLYN IS THE CENTER OF THE WORLD" but i could be way off. like so many things, i feel like the buzz around it is basically b/c it's in brooklyn

and for a period of time at least i don't think they actually brewed there.

they put an utterly innocuous cream ale in a fancy-looking can and ppl loved it, idk

it was like $13.50 a six pack here. same as sculpin, which is far superior, but less per oz than most anything in a 4 pack

those cans really do make you feel like you're drinking red bull tho

psychgawsple FYI the Plaid Pantry on Cesar Chavez near the I84 exit has Sculpin for $10/six, don't know if that's near you or not

I don't know why, it's near a friend's house that we visit frequently

those cans really do make you feel like you're drinking red bull tho

― hug niceman (psychgawsple), Friday, December 19, 2014 1:13 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha otm. at first i was like "oh cool" and then as they sat in my fridge i was like "fuck these look like energy drinks"

that one is not near me but other plaid pantries are, thx for the heads up!

i met one of the owners of $!xp01n+ at that bottle share actually, lol. we need a 77 beer thread so i can share (subjectively) funny stories abt this. nothing necessarily damning tho - he was super generous and friendly