smiling

autocorrelation ruining my grammar'll teach me to write big posts on my phone

ah, well,

Mb giving a shit about this at all indicates it's lingering influence

im not trying to be harsh but i think this is almost as much a cop-out mechanism as not thinking at all about this stuff, its essentially the one-step better option or w/e a lot of the time, or for a lot of ppl, ime - not directed at you or anything obv. not thinking about this stuff at all and just existing a la goon is the ideal to which we should all strive imo.

like when we morally police ourselves and then feel guilty the guilt expiates the bad behaviour somehow? whereas there's no reason to believe that somebody without an oppressive self-surveillance regime wd actually behave any worse than anybody else? that feels plausible tbh

not following this quite. I mean giving a shit about to what extent I might have escaped/still be shaped by church-nurtured thought-policing. agree with NV's point; it's v hard to recognise the limits of the influence of this way of thinking because the similarity/difference of other ways of being ethical/existing in the world is unknown. this is partly why the explanatory potential of looking at things like this seems dubious to me. straying off-topic but my friends all had much less religious upbringings and where I'm close enough to tell at least I'd say they are less obsessed/suffocated by the same sorts of ethics. idk this sort of stuff is on my mind a lot but I don't want to start posting about my parents so I'll leave it there

all the free and easy protestants ive met (since moving to dublin, obv, jaysus) are lovely. as a broad swathe statement, since im making them and don't much plan to stop, they're much more socially engaged and conscious, but it seems to be in a less-broody way, more of a 'roll-up-the-sleeves, do lets' get stuck in chaps, this wants fixing' kind of way.

again i don't discount that they are all genuinely much fuckin wealthier and happier and less prone to having come from demented alcoholic abusive homes than the crowd im use to (oh that's probably covered in 'protestant' i guess)

no idea how engaged they are with their religion vs our lot, afaicglean its more of a social outing thing with them, that and knowing they're better than we are, which probably helps in a million unfelt ways.

like when we morally police ourselves and then feel guilty the guilt expiates the bad behaviour somehow? whereas there's no reason to believe that somebody without an oppressive self-surveillance regime wd actually behave any worse than anybody else? that feels plausible tbh

― Gombeen Dance Band (Noodle Vague)

idk, that, yeah, definitely, that and giving yrself the slap on the back for little or nothing as opposed to the (always? often? never?) truthier 'fuck it we're all in it and trying to get out of it and preferably me first' but tbrrwu i dont see how this links in any way to ogmors post and im only typing now out of reflex so