where he crawled to the 5th inning and then barely managed to get out of a jam
lol this summarizes like 7 out of his 10 sox starts, including all but maybe 1 of the four wins
― slothroprhymes, Thursday, 26 February 2015 15:31 (nine years ago) link
Gary Striewski @garystriewski 4m4 minutes ago
Good news: Sox haven't allowed a hit against a college team Bad news: Sox haven't had a hit against a college team
― slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 3 March 2015 18:46 (nine years ago) link
scratch that: mookie betts, naturally, has the first hit.
(please cherington don't trade him)
― slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 3 March 2015 18:48 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_CmC_GUwAAYPRT.jpg
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 March 2015 22:55 (nine years ago) link
inasmuch as spring training means anything, backup infield looks pretty sloppy this afternoon
― slothroprhymes, Sunday, 8 March 2015 18:26 (nine years ago) link
usually don't like giving pete abe any sort of consideration, but this was hilarious:
Pete Abraham @PeteAbe 1m1 minute agoThere was a snake in the #RedSox clubhouse, which prompted several players to climb on chairs or tables. Wade Miley wrangled it.
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 16 March 2015 16:20 (nine years ago) link
Alex Speier @alexspeier 5m5 minutes agoBetts just took his first walk of the spring. Now hitting .472 with a .486 OBP.
i know it's just spring training and JBJ did this well too and then fell off a cliff in the major leagues but maaaaaaannnnnnn
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 26 March 2015 18:19 (nine years ago) link
(also betts has proven himself to a considerable extent in the big club, JBJ didn't do much before his AAA/spring training craziness)
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 26 March 2015 18:21 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theplayerstribune.com/david-ortiz-on-the-record/
― sofatruck, Friday, 27 March 2015 15:04 (nine years ago) link
fuckin a
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 27 March 2015 15:38 (nine years ago) link
p well said, goodjob papi
― johnny crunch, Friday, 27 March 2015 15:43 (nine years ago) link
Grantland looks at morass of 80-87-win teams that is the AL East, supposes Boston...
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/mlb-2015-al-east-preview-red-sox-blue-jays-orioles-rays-yankees/
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 March 2015 15:44 (nine years ago) link
they can definitely win the division because of how weak it is and how high their potential ceiling is (honestly more the former than the latter).
not going to get more optimistic than that tho
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Friday, 27 March 2015 16:03 (nine years ago) link
In 2013, I came off the DL and started hot. My first 20 games I was hitting like .400. And the reporter with the red jheri curl from The Boston Globe comes into the locker room says, “You’re from the Dominican. You’re older. You fit the profile of a steroid user. Don’t you think you’re a prime suspect?”He’s saying this with a straight face. I had taken like 70 at-bats. Anybody can get hot and hit .400 with 70 at-bats. I was stunned. I’m like, I’m Dominican? I fit the profile? Are you kidding me?
He’s saying this with a straight face. I had taken like 70 at-bats. Anybody can get hot and hit .400 with 70 at-bats. I was stunned. I’m like, I’m Dominican? I fit the profile? Are you kidding me?
hate hate hate HATE shaughnessy so fucking much. for a ton of reasons, but perhaps most for the way he acts all like he's above homerism when he covers the sox but then writes a dozen columns emphasizing The Patriot Way and extolling the bruins' grit without a lick of irony
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Friday, 27 March 2015 16:07 (nine years ago) link
needed a 'curly haired boyfriend' reference
― mookieproof, Friday, 27 March 2015 17:07 (nine years ago) link
Brian MacPherson @brianmacp 7m7 minutes agoMookie Betts has 11 extra-base hits this spring. No other Red Sox hitter even has five.
related: he is 2-2 with a 2-run homer against the barves today
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Friday, 27 March 2015 18:38 (nine years ago) link
do we as a board think ortiz juiced/es or is he just an outlier?
― Bringing the mosh (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 27 March 2015 23:53 (nine years ago) link
everyone either juiced or should have
except for bonds (maybe) although the results were astonishing enough to be worthwhile
― mookieproof, Saturday, 28 March 2015 02:13 (nine years ago) link
bonds hella juiced before and after the ban and gave zero fucks (not that I care), ortiz def did before the ban and might've after if he wasn't tested all the gdamn time but prob couldn't afford to
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Saturday, 28 March 2015 02:29 (nine years ago) link
oh i don't doubt that bonds juiced -- just that he was already financially set and might have had a hof case without it, which brings into the question of 'should have'
― mookieproof, Saturday, 28 March 2015 02:32 (nine years ago) link
ah, yeah, I mean in both the biggest doping cases (bonds and a-rod), the players were great/arguably once in a lifetime talents before they (as far as we know) began juicing, and with them it's always been like "why'd they bother?"
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Saturday, 28 March 2015 18:21 (nine years ago) link
I mean I suppose we know why & asking that without qualifiers comes off as dangerously naive, but still.
w/ papi I understand objectively why he would've sought competitive advantages in the pre-ban period bc he was viewed as an almost-bust on the twins. unless he's completely lying about how often he's tested, which seems crazy bold even for him, I believe that he stopped & whatever improvements he made via chemicals, training or both simply stuck. or he got insanely good at beating tests, which seems unlikely
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Saturday, 28 March 2015 18:33 (nine years ago) link
I'm willing to believe that a dude who almost never had to play the field could keep the numbers up thru his 30s wo juice
― ciderpress, Sunday, 29 March 2015 00:33 (nine years ago) link
well, i wouldn't pin my belief on that. designated hitters (and first basemen, who aren't particularly taxed in the field) also decline, and it's not like he's some ridiculously athletic guy committed to late-career conditioning
― mookieproof, Sunday, 29 March 2015 02:15 (nine years ago) link
Christain Vazquez unlikely to open at catcher
http://espn.go.com/boston/mlb/story/_/id/12575944/christian-vazquez-boston-red-sox-get-2nd-opinion-elbow-ready-opening-day
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 29 March 2015 03:15 (nine years ago) link
he was only holding the spot for swihart anyway
― mookieproof, Sunday, 29 March 2015 03:53 (nine years ago) link
nah vazquez's framing & arm are legit great, swihart is (in the minors) a markedly better hitter w somewhat average defense, they will likely be platooned when swihart is ready for the big club w/ hanigan as the last ditch backup
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Sunday, 29 March 2015 04:09 (nine years ago) link
hanigan will prob start opening day at this rate tho given that vazquez is seeing...dr. james andrews...fuuuuuuck
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Sunday, 29 March 2015 14:25 (nine years ago) link
opening day and day-after starters officially announced as buchholz and porcello
projecting the remaining order to go miley-kelly-masterson, unless kelly is stuck on the DL then wright probably knuckleballs his way through a start or two early on
― are... are you saying you fucked a gazelle? (slothroprhymes), Sunday, 29 March 2015 14:28 (nine years ago) link
60-day DL for Vazquez
@BenLindbergh Vazquez projected to be +28 runs/season in framing, according to @harrypav (T-2nd in MLB). Also, best C at reducing steal attempts in 2014.
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Monday, 30 March 2015 18:55 (nine years ago) link
Dioner Navarro: still available!
― AKA Thermo Thinwall (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 30 March 2015 21:47 (nine years ago) link
multiple sox bloggers making aj pierzynski signing jokes for April fools
related: I have suffered multiple seizures this morning
― pimento is a cheese, some call it the caviar of the south (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 1 April 2015 12:18 (nine years ago) link
@brooksbaseballMy HOF tracking model has Betts needing to put up at least 3/4 with 1 double and 1 HR vs Hamels today to stay on his HOF pace.
― mookieproof, Monday, 6 April 2015 15:07 (nine years ago) link
i mean, it's destiny, who can stop destiny
oh god he also tweeted this earlier today, and i remember once again why i never listen to WEEI aside from actual game broadcasts: Dan Brooks @brooksbaseball ·13h 13 hours agoTomorrow on boston sports radio: 29 hours of "are red sox geniuses for not signing lester"
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 15:18 (nine years ago) link
aaaaaand the first run of the season is a LASER SHOW
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 19:13 (nine years ago) link
there's mookie's hr
― mookieproof, Monday, 6 April 2015 19:45 (nine years ago) link
pedroia's 2 homers make this his first multi-homer game since 2011
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 20:36 (nine years ago) link
I FUCKIN LOVE THIS TEAM
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 April 2015 21:34 (nine years ago) link
seconded.
clay's opening day line: 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 3H, 1 BB, 9K
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 21:39 (nine years ago) link
i mean!!
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 April 2015 21:42 (nine years ago) link
https://vine.co/v/eBz7gDWuBrX
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 21:43 (nine years ago) link
i'm trying to not go crazy with getting my hopes up right away because this is against the phillies and it's the first game...but yeah. im pretty excited.
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 21:44 (nine years ago) link
hanle y
― mookieproof, Monday, 6 April 2015 21:57 (nine years ago) link
:D
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 April 2015 21:59 (nine years ago) link
*places jersey order*
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 22:00 (nine years ago) link
need another 4th-place finish, right above the Stanks
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 April 2015 22:01 (nine years ago) link
nice try
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 22:04 (nine years ago) link
ha! hanley's bat broke on that grand slam
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 22:05 (nine years ago) link
REPORTERS: yo ben are you gonna extend porcello manCHERINGTON: idk we'll see who knows what might happenRED SOX: *win exactly one game, albeit with authority*CHERINGTON: jk he's getting 4 years for 82.5 million plus 12.5 mil this year from arbitration plus signing bonus
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 6 April 2015 23:57 (nine years ago) link
@TonyPaul1984Whoa: By the time he is 30, Rick Porcello will have earned about $100M -- more than Max Scherzer and David Price combined. #redsox #tigers
― Andy K, Tuesday, 7 April 2015 00:12 (nine years ago) link
front office positions: the new market inefficiency
― mookieproof, Friday, 25 September 2015 19:40 (eight years ago) link
rich fucking hill!
― johnny crunch, Saturday, 26 September 2015 01:31 (eight years ago) link
wow what an insane run. good for him, without the durability issues he'd have had a great career.
― call all destroyer, Saturday, 26 September 2015 01:34 (eight years ago) link
rich fucking hill! --johnny crunch
beat me to it man
― slothroprhymes, Saturday, 26 September 2015 01:43 (eight years ago) link
CG, 2H, 0R/ER, 1BB, 10K.
― slothroprhymes, Saturday, 26 September 2015 03:02 (eight years ago) link
#worsttothird lets get it
― slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 30 September 2015 02:10 (eight years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CRS_K6CU8AAzGBA.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 14 October 2015 18:20 (eight years ago) link
will gladly listen to his broadcasts next season even if the padres suck
― slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 14 October 2015 18:34 (eight years ago) link
dave d confirms hanley at 1b next year
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 October 2015 19:02 (eight years ago) link
"Confirms"
― Naive Teen Idol, Saturday, 17 October 2015 00:58 (eight years ago) link
I'm high on Porcello and I predict he will have the biggest impact of all new Sox players. Joe Kelly not as much.
― Van Horn Street, Wednesday, February 18, 2015 10:23 PM (8 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
the thing is, this was not an unreasonable thought at the time, and might be true in like 5 years, but it do kinda hurt right now
― slothroprhymes, Thursday, 22 October 2015 01:59 (eight years ago) link
haha yes, i did have long hair in high school
― Van Horn Street, Thursday, 22 October 2015 02:03 (eight years ago) link
bullpen successfully purged via waivers/releases - l8er alexi ohgodno and ryan cooked
― slothroprhymes, Friday, 6 November 2015 21:05 (eight years ago) link
Lol - been calling him "oh god no" since he came to the majors!
― AKA Thermo Thinwall (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 6 November 2015 22:51 (eight years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CVu4HzOWcAA3LI4.jpg
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 8 December 2015 22:18 (eight years ago) link
wha? you always get news 15 mins ahead
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 8 December 2015 22:23 (eight years ago) link
ok, news to me
http://www.masslive.com/redsox/index.ssf/2015/12/with_boston_red_sox_season_ove.html
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 8 December 2015 22:28 (eight years ago) link
nah, he's in some bowling tournament somewhere
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 8 December 2015 22:29 (eight years ago) link
lol mook you sneaky fuck
― metro slothrop want some more (slothroprhymes), Tuesday, 8 December 2015 22:31 (eight years ago) link
i got paranoid for all of 30 seconds that dombo had an attack of kuru and made the jose fernandez trade or some shit
― metro slothrop want some more (slothroprhymes), Tuesday, 8 December 2015 22:32 (eight years ago) link
how we feel about price?
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 06:47 (eight years ago) link
price is house money/no pick so if you can afford it go for it?
― How Butch, I mean (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 06:55 (eight years ago) link
I'm v happy with price, I knew the sox would need one of the big FA pitchers and it's better to pay his cost than pay less for cueto or greinke or samardjiza and have made a less reliable bet by doing so
― metro slothrop want some more (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 18:23 (eight years ago) link
in theory it seems like his handedness would play better in non-fenway parks, but whatever. (also he's done very well in his 11 career starts there.) seems like good move for a bastard team than can afford him
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 December 2015 18:39 (eight years ago) link
lollllll
― metro slothrop want some more (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 20:12 (eight years ago) link
@mookiebettsCommentating debut tonight on ESPN at 6 central time at the World Series of Bowling! Everybody tune in!!!!
― mookieproof, Thursday, 17 December 2015 23:06 (eight years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYDQKg1UAAAQkpp.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 6 January 2016 16:39 (eight years ago) link