Real England

Some of our local criminal fraternity are so fucking thick...

MIRFIELD: September 11. Intruders cut the padlock off a shed in Kitson Hill Road but fled when the alarm went off.

MIRFIELD: September 16. Cheeky thieves unscrewed CCTV cameras at a house in Priory Way and escaped unseen.

RAVENSTHORPE: September 11. A woman left a pram outside a jeweller’s shop in Huddersfield Road. She looked out to see a couple walking off with it. The thieves were described as Eastern European in appearance. The man was in his 40s and scruffy while the woman was about 30 with medium length hair. Both wore tracksuit bottoms.

ROBERTTOWN: November 29: A would-be burglar was thwarted in his attempt to break into a house in Child Lane around 1.50pm. A man in his 30s knocked on the door, pressed the bell and knocked again. When there was no answer he climbed over a 9ft side gate and tried to force the patio doors with a screwdriver. The suspect was disturbed by the householder and fled.

RAVENSTHORPE: November 28: A thief sneaked into an office at Classic Beds in Huddersfield Road and stole six blank cheques from a chequebook.

THORNHILL: November 29: Yobs spoke to the occupant of a house in Edge Avenue before walking round the property and kicking over the fence.

MIRFIELD: December 3: Thieves cut through 4,000 volts of live electric wire to steal six fence posts from a field in Primrose Lane.

lol at the last one

4000 volts better than 3 amps, but still these scrappers are fucking mental these days.

A thief sneaked into an office at Classic Beds in Huddersfield Road and stole six blank cheques from a chequebook.

wait

lol @ Russell Grant in the boxing pic

holy shit @ popek

ty sharivari

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-31903327

"This is Youtube material!"

Newry council defends video of 'defecating' dog-owner
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-31969590
Newry and Mourne District Council posted footage on its Facebook page, showing an actor dropping his trousers at the entrance to Newry City Hall.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=816064768474743&set=vb.146408912107002&type=2&theater

"But officer, you don't understand! 'STOP! YOU WOULDN'T CRAP IN THE STREET' is the name of my dog!"

An it's from Northern Ireland, not England, but the ad has a Real England feel. Also it's a lot like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALZZx1xmAzg

Back in the 70's James Mason made amends for previously describing his home-town as an unspeakable shit-hole by ethnically cleansing the place in this fanciful Goebbels style depiction of a town magically shorn of it's migrant communities in EVERY shot. Mind you he did play a fair few cartoon Nazis in this same era.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4LsSlWzITA

Beautiful, real Get Carter vibe in that

I had no idea James Mason was from Huddersfield, is it worth watching? (i will almost surely watch it anyway but still interested in your opinion)

Huddersfield is well served on the British Library's accents and dialects section (in marked contrast to Halifax)

It is a creepy luvvie roots project where you get the feeling that Mason possibly doesn't quite dig what Huddersfield has become in the years since he left so he (or possibly the producers) imposes a Holm Valley/Meltham/Marsden centric vision of the town. The closest he gets to the north side is when he is at the Town Ground and the camera avoids the unpleasant social housing up the hill at Deighton or up the stinking, chemically polluted Kilner Bank towards Dalton. And there are no wide shots in the town centre to keep up this pretence that it is a wholly white town that has barely changed since the luddites were active. I suppose you could call it a deeply unpleasant curio!

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/567950085074333696/CY8Zjkag.jpeg

fiver says he's an Arsenal fan

Overheard on the train

Whats your new business

its retro skiwear....with a modern twist

maybe this could go here from another thread

"John isn't from round here, he's from down South somewhere but had also spent the 22 years based in Corsica.

He got a £450,000 pay out from the Army because he got blown up in Uganda and wasn't expected to live. He has 4 years left until he can officially retire, but his now a chef, in something army related

He told me had done a number of extractions, some in Iran and one in this country. He was tortured in Iran in 1995. He recently did some work in Syria. He showed me a bullet wound in his leg, i couldnt quite tell what was going on with his hand

We were on the bus to Haworth, he said, when he first came to the area he spent 6 months in Haworth. He said no one had lived there for 6 months, and there was a rat. the rat wasnt frightened so he was able to kill it with a brick. He told his landlord and the landlord told him to buy some traps. Over the next couple of weeks he caught 14 or 15 rats and put them in the freezer. When the landlord came he took them out and wrapped them up and gave them to his landlord as a moving-in present

He spent some time in the brecon beacons where the army do some exercises, and during a training exercise 6 people died from hypothermia and it got into the newspapers

― anvil, Wednesday, February 11, 2015 1:01 PM (1 month ago)"

http://i.imgur.com/iDuCDoL.jpg

photographs Alan Clark will have masturbated ferociously over

Thread idea?

Thatcher just about to look round and realise that Fiat in the background is coming right for her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoA-YOMaBaM

The little-used "Go Dutch" 1970s cycleway project of Stevenage.

http://www.roadswerenotbuiltforcars.com/stevenage/

"“they use their cars as shopping baskets; or use them as overcoats.”

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8116/8905781094_7db9752973_c.jpg

a few threads this cd've gone into

http://www.lrb.co.uk/v37/n08/james-meek/why-are-you-still-here

http://i.imgur.com/RqF9m95.jpg

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11008542_1101938169821262_3086074597231008187_n.jpg?oh=717c00a2a575e1836dbea04c9ae16171&oe=55CA3E39

Of course the UKIP hotline is an 0800 number.

there must be some total bloody bellends living in that house

Emily Thornberry up to her old tricks?

fuming @ nakhchivan's response, insist on his immediate resignation

https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/592708985054191616

I missed the word "aided" in that Tom Jones headline and read it as "My secret affair with Tom Jones - by his own son"

graffitiing of one's own abode will always remind me of this place:

https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6026/5919342273_c7c91b8cb5_b.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9RcsCbErdg

GuildfordGhost = best youtube channel

^thank you for that; great for many reasons. reels on that channel!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0elsNDRqLtQ

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33403146/cumbria-couple-have-a-one-in-a-minion-themed-wedding

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/08EE/production/_84068220_jill_martell.jpg

tempted to start a Kim Kardashian style thread about minions because I don't understand what they are and they are everywhere

don't know where to put bakewell's peculiar council website
http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/33/pages/council-tax
http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/8/pages/working-in-bakewell

keep on laughing at the working in bakewell one. for a full ten minutes now on and off.

business networks amusing as well.

shot of the library pretty real

http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/images/headerImages/Library.jpg

Bakewell in Bloom set me off you gits

Living in Bakewell is Great!

Parking >>>

Love that Library pic - bet there are tons like it from council sites, could the nu-Oasis Primal Scream blah blah thread.

Living in Bakewell
Living in Bakewell is great!

The Council tax picture cracked me up along with ' Derbyshire Dales Dirtict Council etc etc..'

Living In Bakewell killed me. Also liked the Bus Pass section showing dozens of pensioners crowding the pavement while an out of service bus looms in the background.