rolling fuck this shit worst songs of 2015 thread

Awwwww, that Death Team video is shot at O'Connor Bowl in Toronto! (the 5-pin bowling being a dead giveaway that they are getting the American 'hood vibe all wrong).

they're getting pretty much every vibe wrong imo

my long tradition of defending Train singles does not stop here

christ even the spiderman 2 song?

this is pretty wtf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hZRHpCBt9Y

This wants so desperately to be some mutant combo of The Weeknd, Miley's "We Can't Stop" and Kitty (Pryde), but it just sounds so ridiculously strained and awkward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfB_K4RGtDo

I kind of like that

(from the description I was expecting "The Weekend" to load)

I don't specifically like it, but it might be the least objectionable nickleback song I've ever heard.

just poking my head in this thread to say that I actually kinda like fucking bitches in the hood

oh christ did the xp make me "like" nickelback, I regret it all

(I meant the roslyn moore, reminds me of my favorite katy rose/shut up stella tracks)

The vocals in the Roslyn Moore track don't seem to be off-key in certain parts. It's through the whole thing! She's either sharp or flat vs. the beat, but just a little, and that's enough to drive me insane.

That Nickelback is indefensible solely for the lyric "everybody wants to be the sister's mister ,Coca-Cola rollercoaster".

I don't understand "Fucking Bitches in the Hood" and that's a nightmarishly awful name for a song.

oh wait it's just an awful Uffie song

my long tradition of defending Train singles does not stop here

christ even the spiderman 2 song?

― insufficiently familiar with xgau's work to comment intelligently (BradNelson), Wednesday, March 4, 2015 2:28 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i didn't mean ALL of them. that one is kind of entertaining just to hear them try to do brooding hard rock, but not one of my favorites.

"Fucking Bitches" = most teenaged girls are awful again. It's cyclical.

think death team are in their thirties though.

yeah, i was surprised by how old they look in the video, when i heard the song i was like 'well, this is pretty bad, but these have to be some clueless teens'

I meant the teenaged girls who are consuming, not creating, that awful, awful song.

I'd been hearing Hozier's "Take Me to Church" for a long time until I found out who did it--I just thought of it as the Elton-John-soundalike. I don't hate the first half-minute or so.

"Fucking Bitches in the Hood" is kinda harmless relatively speaking - like "Mouldy Old Dough" subbing in as this year's novelty hipster shareable (Cameltoe, Pizza Hut Taco Bell)... at least it's not shrill, loud and in your face. Definitely too much chorus to too little verse but w/e. Compared to "Marvin Gaye" it's fucking Marvin Gaye.

"In The Burbs" mainly suffering from identity confusion and production issues - slide BPM up for Miley, slide down for Lorde, but doesn't have the oomph for either. Super dinky sounding. At some point in time this coulda been an okay indie track but it got waylaid somewhere.

i'm seeing meghan trainor for work on tuesday

i gather you don't have much good to say in advance of that meeting.

Lunchmoney Lewis' "Bills" was mentioned in rolling pop but not here.
consider it mentioned here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IrQHeDcMi8

lol i had a feeling it would end up here

Bit of trivia about LunchMoney Lewis:
His father and Uncle were members of the reggae group Inner Circle.

Oh, so terrible earworm-laden music runs in the family.

everything about this is eugh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShlW5plD_40&feature=player_embedded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge7mozA-ptI

btw, i had my moments with "all about that bass" so i approached Title with an open mind and "dear future husband" was the track that closed the door hard

Lunch Money Lewis is dope i'm not into that song either but he's a super talented dude who's had a hand in a bunch of great records on the hip-hop side of things

"dear future husband" seems a pathetic misstep - what an unappealing persona to emphasize as she's building her identity. i guess it overlaps with the impish/"sassy" thing that people went for on her hit, but i feel like at least some portion of people that liked or shared that song did so because they felt like it stood for some kind of vaguely progressive, sisters-are-butting-it-for-themselves kinda idea if not a very nuanced or thought-out one. but this hands us a much much more conventional "am i right, girls?" spree of lame cliches that i imagine those same people won't actually relate to at all.

OTOH doubling down on a 'novelty' sound might be the right business decision since she doesn't seem to have much else to sustain a career on. the thing is i'd just rather hear dion and the belmonts than this insulting drivel. the carnival scene in the video made me hope we were headed in the direction of a "dead zone" plot but no such luck.

wow this is terrible

FIVE HOURS TO GO

maybe focus exclusively on her juvenalia? this wiki segment seems ripe for deep digging

1993–2008: Early life
Trainor was born on December 22, 1993, in Nantucket, Massachusetts. Her parents, Gary and Kellie Trainor, are the owners of jewelry store, Jewel of the Isle. Outside their business, Trainor's father taught music for eight years and being a musician all his life, plays organ in a Methodist church. Trainor's mother runs her Facebook page. She has an older brother, Ryan (born 1992), and a younger brother, Justin. Trainor began singing at the age of six, and writing songs at age 11. She told her father at this age that she had an "awesome voice and needed to record it". She played football between her third and fifth grade at school. Her first live performance was in 2004 at the wedding of her aunt and uncle, where she played the song "Heart and Soul" from the piano. At the age of 12, Trainor began performing professionally. She was in a band called Island Fusion, which comprised members of her family. They performed soca-inspired music at local bars and Nantucket watering holes. By age 13, Trainor penned her first song, "Give Me a Chance". Trainor's father coached her on playing the guitar. Her father insisted that she write for every genre, to which her mother said she "did a lot by ear". Trainor was raised in Nantucket until later in her eighth grade of high school before her family temporarily moved to Orleans, Massachusetts, and then re-located to North Eastham, Massachusetts where she attended Nauset Regional High School. She developed her musical talent playing alongside NRBQ members, Johnny and Joey Spampinato, and took guitar lessons from the former. She was a member of a jazz band for three years during high school and would develop music at a studio from home. During this time, Trainor obtained her nickname, Singer Girl.

like when did she stop going by "Singer Girl"? Does she regret quitting football? Have any of the Island Fusion songs made their way into her current repertoire? What was band camp like? What's her favorite cut of diamond? Does she ever feel like mom oversteps her boundaries on the Facebook? What are NRBQ really like? i tell you this thing writes itself

what the hell is the point of making music which sounds like a bad and toothless version of older music with even more regressive lyrics. why. why

idk walking home tonight I heard a soft jazz cover of Under the Bridge oozing out of some bar and I just feel all this music-related ennui right now and I probably shouldn't have clicked that Meghan Trainer video

a soft jazz cover of Under the Bridge

would you say that you don't ever want to feel like you did this day

sorry

I have a friend-of-friends named Meaghan Trainor who seems to be amused by all this.

wow thats like some 2010s version of michael bolton from office space

Ellie Goulding - love me like you do. What the fuck, laziest song ever.

Clean Bandit - extraordinary. The fuck, the melody belongs in the 90s dance pop discount bin.

lunchmoney lewis still doesn't have a wikipedia page

Trainor's mother runs her Facebook page.
and from the looks of it probably also wrote that entire paragraph.

i wish she had brought her mom up on stage to fact-check the claim in 'bass'

then again that would have made the song longer, soooo

http://www.jeweloftheisle.com/

http://static1.squarespace.com/static/52e6d0e8e4b0751fa43a5bc9/54c0591de4b085ef114da184/54c0591de4b085ef114da185/1421938494576/3451_10151499723514162_970000518_n.jpg?format=300whttp://static1.squarespace.com/static/52e6d0e8e4b0751fa43a5bc9/54c0591de4b085ef114da184/54c0591ee4b056c8040f3e99/1421891871540/10411212_10152698195439162_8140273214256823915_n.jpg?format=300w

Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, (babe)

a new person has started at work and its his turn for the music and I cant take it. I could just google the lyrics of every song and put it here

first up today

Tove Lo Timebomb

just catching up on the last page of this thread, Roslyn Moore destroys Nickelback Trainor & Lewis -- I do wanna hear that soft jazz "Under the Bridge" tho

in the spirit of making this thread meaner again: there's this local bar band* & it seems like every time I leave work on a friday or a saturday night they're across the street covering "Get Lucky" before a packed house of totally unself-consciously feeling-it drunk people, & that is the worst new music of 2014/15 for me

*who I have nothing against in theory. I gotta say that because my friends like em*