how do i shot wedding and marriage

You got this!

yeah you can do it

wtf is going on horseshoe

give us the crazy 411

^^^

organizing a wedding is just the worst. Sorry horseshoe :/

I am having a great time organizing my wedding, so it's not categorically horrible. I hope I'm not jinxing myself.

Stay strong tho!

yay jody i am glad to hear it!

i think i'm just behind? and i made the mistake of going to a happy hour thrown by wedding vendors last night and freaked out about all i have to do. (my students keep asking me how the wedding planning's going and i'm like what wedding planning???)

i am bad at organizing things. and i feel like, though i love my venue, it's kind of schmancy, so that has ratcheted up expectation levels all around. two nights ago we had our wedding tasting with the caterer (that was awesome, tbf) and our caterer lady was like, what are your wedding colors? and i was like, do i really need wedding colors? and she was aghast.

it will be okay. i need to get a photographer and a florist.

weddings are so weird

Wedding industry people make me want to begin some kind of cull on heteronormative, matchy-matchy people.

None of this shit will matter on the day, just enjoy it.

"wedding colors" was a pretty laughable concept ime, unless you have some particularly heavy decorating thing going on it's basically to make sure that your table linens don't clash with your flower arrangements.

YOU DO NOT NEED WEDDING COLORS

also, from the very first post here:

"i don't want to feel like i'm trying to please them with a day that's supposed to be exactly what we want."

I think is part of the problem. A wedding is NOT supposed to be a day that's exactly what you want. It's a party you're throwing for your guests. It's when you put a lot of weight on it being "exactly what you want" or "perfect" or "expressive of ourselves" that it starts to get really stressful. If you're married at the end of the night, the thing was a success.

OK maybe I should have read more of the thread and noticed that I already made this exact comment 18 months ago

I'm old and have been married a long time, we forget things

We went into ours going "book church, book venue with good food, no more than 50 guests, book some way for them to get from A to B, buy rings and wedding clothes, book photographer, get some friends to play music and that's it". Eventually if family members feel particularly strongly about eg flowers they'll offer to deal with it themselves because they have literally nothing else to organise or pay for. It worked pretty well and we ended up with a considerably less minimal wedding but without having to deal with that sort of oppressive scope-creep.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uxiEg34jwHQ/Tp6lFDBUuuI/AAAAAAAAL4c/g1z_czNPmIg/s640/RogerAndMe_074Pyxurz.jpg

a happy hour thrown by wedding vendors last night

Child, you realize that's the belly of the beast, right? It's their J.O.B. to make you feel horrible. HARRIBLE!

Shake it off, c'mon, you got this.

p. sure we had no 'wedding colors'

is yr event in b'more? i can attest that dangerously delicious pies make a fine alternative to cake

Marriage is a big deal.

A wedding is not a big deal.

Unless you want your wedding to be a big deal, in which case that is a choice and not an imperative.

Basically eephus OTM.

my wedding colors are "fuck" and "you"

orbit otm, wedding vendors are insane. avoid as much as possible, stick with normcore crowd & you'll be fine. they're like 90% of the problem

If I could do it again, I'd elope to Vegas, for real.

Let us know when you get your engagement photos in.

Leaning towards the "haunted castle" venue option at the moment

http://i.imgur.com/Vhspf2e.jpg

hot tip of the day: avoid holding an outdoor wedding anywhere that armed drones are patrolling.

xpost wait sharivari are u getting married? :D congrats!

Thanks! Got engaged ages ago but have been very slow to do anything about it.

no shame in a long engagement :)

congrats sharivari!

http://visittoukraine.com/uploads/images/sights/lastochkino-gnezdo2.jpg

currently watching Don't Tell the Bride where they go to Thorpe Park. They may have a haunted castle there?

The on-the-door entry fee at Thorpe Park is actually more expensive per-head than the all-inclusive package we've been offered at Kinnitty Castle, pictured above.

Ireland looks like great place to get hitched at the moment.

yah but that's before you factor in your ilx invitations

tbf, i did not invite an ilxor to mine, but mine ended <2 years later, so there's yer warning

None of this shit will matter on the day, just enjoy it.

but it does matter, because women end up bearing the brunt of the responsibility for anything that goes wrong on the day -- of course guys think it's unimportant, they're not the ones who are getting told CONSTANTLY how important it is and what a shitty, cheap, thoughtless person and bad friend/relative you are if one thing's out of place.

and there's a certain luxury that comes with saying "so what, just ignore them." sorry, i can't.

getting told CONSTANTLY how important it is and what a shitty, cheap, thoughtless person and bad friend/relative you are if one thing's out of place.

good lord. my family and in-laws aren't like that at all, thankfully. I know this is never to be taken for granted and I am very lucky that way. you have my sympathies.

btw, simple things are harder to screw up. the more of a huge production it is, the easier it is for things to go wrong.

ur already a bad husband sharivari grats

Got my wedding in 3 weeks. ilxor count: 1.

that's not counting me

(& congratulations sharivari!)

you left the strawboys out last I heard can u pls confirm the latest

the bride's not biting
It was going ok till she saw the pictures
:(

surely it's a job for strawmen not strawboys

made that pun in UK ilx thread like six hours ago smh

eh, mine was better

blowin u a strawberry rn

It's ok, Darragh - i'll have double strawboys at mine to make up for it.

Congrats Sharivari.

Why not try a basic setup? Some bread and cheese and fine white wine.

Oh I never really posted about this.

We away and married late last year after eleven years together. Civil ceremony, two witnesses and nobody else. Drinks, lunch, change clothes, taxi, plane, few phonecalls, social media post of 'hi everyone we got married see ye in a week'. Went like a charm tbh.

We had anticipated problems with one of her parents in particular, her choice was to let them know only a few weeks in advance that we were doing it that way. On her lead, we dropped it fairly brutally on them in person and then after a few excruciating minutes we jogged on our way, being advised en route not to darken door again for a while.

Radio silence apart from a few proxy attempts early on through her brother to do it properly - mass, decent notice period, big bash with all relatives and neighbours and what have you. Other than that no parental contact for her for a few months, not til well after the deed was done in fact.

Everyone else was thrilled for us, so all in all it wasn't a bad effort. I recommend. Any questions?