Things you started saying ironically but which you've found over time that you now, somewhat dismayingly, actually just plain say

and also statements of personal preference with the personal pronoun omitted ("feel like we're overdue for another Grizzly Bear album" "not really liking the latest Knausgaard"). I complained about it on ilx and now I can't stop doing it.

(haven't even read Knausgaard and not sure if I want to tbph)

"I hope you die"