ground-ball pitchers, pandas, victorino's rickety spine and the hope of mookie betts: your 2015 Boston Red Sox

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first cycle since john valentin, 6/6/96

mookieproof, Tuesday, 16 June 2015 22:36 (eight years ago) link

I saw Orlando Hudson hit for the cycle at Dodger Stadium on opening day many moons ago and I was almost too drunk to even notice it. Such a silly stat..

panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 16 June 2015 23:39 (eight years ago) link

man everybody gettin a piece

i'm in serious man-love with like everybody on this team. it's too bad how they all somehow combine to be exponentially worse than the sum of their parts. doesn't that have to reflect on farrell?
--transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand)

I think it does to some extent but I don't think it's enough to say he should be canned. I don't really know what canning anyone will do, especially midseason. they all held the line today, really just want them to start clambering back toward some semblance of respectability

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 16 June 2015 23:47 (eight years ago) link

slotho, i sat in the Fenway bleachers once about 15 years ago; you can't see shit, and soaking in the 'mist' of Sawxfans is not compensatory.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 June 2015 03:57 (eight years ago) link

*slothrop, read yr pynchon

they're so clean in queens amirite

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 17 June 2015 04:21 (eight years ago) link

i dont do OF seats there either

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 June 2015 04:23 (eight years ago) link

but for real I'm poor so I consider the bleachers cheap, ppl with normal salaries can prob get loge box seats along the baseline for not too much.

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 17 June 2015 04:23 (eight years ago) link

well i'm poorish but have rich relations (NYC)

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 June 2015 04:41 (eight years ago) link

anything apart from the end of the right field foul line is exorbitant at fenway iirc. most expensive tickets in the majors!

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 17 June 2015 07:15 (eight years ago) link

...well, yeah.

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 17 June 2015 10:33 (eight years ago) link

did standing room once or twice.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 June 2015 10:51 (eight years ago) link

can't wait to see how they blow this bases loaded opportunity

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 18 June 2015 00:16 (eight years ago) link

LOL IT WORKED AGAIN, albeit not as well as it should've with bases loaded, but joe kelly just got one of the weirdest infield single RBIs

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 18 June 2015 00:21 (eight years ago) link

but yea reverse psychology game strong if I do say so myself

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 18 June 2015 00:21 (eight years ago) link

nope nevermind forget it I was wrong

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 18 June 2015 01:48 (eight years ago) link

morbs come to a game! that would be about the only thing that gets me near fenway this summer.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 18 June 2015 01:57 (eight years ago) link

@GordonEdes
Sandoval benched, admits that was him liking photos of woman on Instagram during game Said he was using bathroom at the time

mookieproof, Thursday, 18 June 2015 19:54 (eight years ago) link

lolllllllllllllllllll

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Thursday, 18 June 2015 20:21 (eight years ago) link

I really don't know how they just went 13-2 on the royals after choking a lead and losing last night, but I like it

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Sunday, 21 June 2015 21:43 (eight years ago) link

well ok I mean part of it was chris young but the floor scraping lows and skyscraper highs of this offense are so jarring

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Sunday, 21 June 2015 21:47 (eight years ago) link

Wade Miley has become very impressive indeed

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Monday, 22 June 2015 14:03 (eight years ago) link

y'know

it's not the worst to be losing the orioles - it's annoying, mostly bc of what fuck bowshalter has done to make a rivalry there, but not like the yanks or rays - but to not be getting hits off ubaldo fucking jimenez, is this team fuckin kidding me

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 24 June 2015 00:05 (eight years ago) link

I could apply that to most orioles starters this year actually

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 24 June 2015 00:05 (eight years ago) link

that said my lawd mookie betts is still on a 10 game hit streak *fans self*

definite parallels between Dany and Rachel Dolezal (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 24 June 2015 00:07 (eight years ago) link

pedroia to the DL, kelly to pawsox, the JBJ experiment will roll on one final ride
https://nesncom.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/jbj.jpg

slothroprhymes, Thursday, 25 June 2015 15:36 (eight years ago) link

oh and deven marrero, and whoever the hell RHP jonathan aro is

slothroprhymes, Thursday, 25 June 2015 15:37 (eight years ago) link

@RedSox_Thoughts
Bold move by the Red Sox to swap rosters with Pawtucket. May be a #turningpoint

mookieproof, Thursday, 25 June 2015 15:38 (eight years ago) link

lol pretty much

slothroprhymes, Thursday, 25 June 2015 15:41 (eight years ago) link

morbs come to a game! that would be about the only thing that gets me near fenway this summer.

we'll see if i have pocket change for this in August (Jimmy Fund benefit):

http://saberseminar.com/the-participants-the-program/

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 30 June 2015 16:36 (eight years ago) link

this team appears to have figured out how to play. even when they lose they look dangerous. maybe instagram's been banned from the clubhouse?

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 30 June 2015 17:54 (eight years ago) link



--slothroprhymes

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 30 June 2015 23:42 (eight years ago) link

lol that didn't work friggin zing

anyway, ~JBJ home runs~

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 30 June 2015 23:44 (eight years ago) link

happy canada day

mookieproof, Wednesday, 1 July 2015 18:09 (eight years ago) link

burn it to the ground

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 1 July 2015 18:18 (eight years ago) link

been done

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 18:38 (eight years ago) link

clearly wasn't done right

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 1 July 2015 18:38 (eight years ago) link

this is the wackiest fuckin game

slothroprhymes, Friday, 3 July 2015 01:41 (eight years ago) link

betts, holt xander and the inexplicably resurgent alejandro de aza all have 3 hits tonight

slothroprhymes, Friday, 3 July 2015 01:42 (eight years ago) link

fangraphs predicts sox to have the best record in the AL the rest of the way

mookieproof, Friday, 3 July 2015 01:47 (eight years ago) link

I'm gonna not get hopeful and take that with like 9,000 grains of salt...

*watches hanigan score on xander's fourth hit*

SHITTY PARITY-STRICKEN DIVISION TITLE HERE WE COME *blows paycheck on tickets*

slothroprhymes, Friday, 3 July 2015 01:50 (eight years ago) link

but seriously, that is good to hear and I also cannot yet see it with this rotation even with buchholz being good again and e-rod showing promise

slothroprhymes, Friday, 3 July 2015 01:52 (eight years ago) link

weird

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 July 2015 09:01 (eight years ago) link

FOUR WINS IN A ROW FIRST TIME ALL SEASON 2015 AL EAST CHAMPS HERE WE COME LETS GET IT

slothroprhymes, Thursday, 9 July 2015 01:57 (eight years ago) link

seriously they're slouching shockingly toward quality in a tangible way, but they can't lose momentum

slothroprhymes, Thursday, 9 July 2015 02:00 (eight years ago) link

4 1/2 back in the division

13.5% to win the division, 26.6% to make the playoffs

and you haven't even shit on mike napoli lately

mookieproof, Thursday, 9 July 2015 02:00 (eight years ago) link

I mean the team is kinda doing that for me, david ortiz is repeatedly playing first base. in AL games.

slothroprhymes, Thursday, 9 July 2015 02:19 (eight years ago) link

I got to figure Ryan Hanigan is probably living out the dream getting to play for the Red Sox this year being from MA. Hanigan's a cool player, definitely someone that has pretty much maxed out of his talent.

earlnash, Thursday, 9 July 2015 06:19 (eight years ago) link

buch's breaking ball that starts outside (to left-handers) and then darts back over the plate is fucking devastating today. he's thrown it like 80% of the time and he should keep doing so

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Friday, 10 July 2015 23:40 (eight years ago) link

aaaand now he's hurt

slothroprhymes, Saturday, 11 July 2015 00:22 (eight years ago) link


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